A Magician Never Tells His Secrets

To be honest I couldn’t recall anything about my first shift. I remember the night sky blending from bright blue to orange to black, with all sorts of pink, red and purple hues in-between. But the job was awful.
I was stuck in a tiny glass booth, sweat pouring off me as I counted money and tickets, fumbled with bills and was constantly itchy by the too-large, button-down yellow shirt with STAFF emblazoned on the back.
It was as if the atmosphere of the carnival couldn’t touch me. There was no excitement, no unexplainable black thrill, and no sweet tension in the air. The resonating dull work and the glass box around me shut me off completely.
By the time the carnival ended I was about ready to collapse. I took the money to Mary, dumped it in her hands and stumbled to Daw’s caravan. I didn’t notice the bright colours of the interior, nor the decorating she’d painstakingly achieved. The only thing I noticed was my suitcase of clothes and my mattress on the floor, which, after changing into my pyjamas, I crawled into and fell unconscious.
In the morning I felt as though my body had been run over by a truck. My throat was dry, my hands felt clammy, my neck and back sore.
When I voiced these symptoms to Daw she nodded understandingly. “Yep. I’ve heard those boxes are hell.”
“Boxes,” I asked, emphasising the plural. “I thought there was only one.”
“Oh no,” she laughed. “There’s another one at the other entrance. Don’t tell me you went all night without a break.”
Furious at my unnecessary hard work we went to breakfast. I soon learnt that the gathering point was outside our caravan, for upon exiting the doors I found a brooding Liam sitting on our steps.
“Morning,” I yawned.
“How was your first shift?” He asked me.
“Hell. I didn’t have a break all night.” I grumbled. He barked his hoarse laugh.
“I’m going to go visit Tori,” I said as I kicked my work boots on. Daw had laid down some pretty firm ground rules when I took my suitcase out of her car and put it in her van the day before. No shoes inside, no food inside, no flammable objects like lighters because the place would go up like a match if there was a fire, being made out of wood and all.
“Tori?” Liam asked, confusion under his usual glare.
“Yeah, Victoria, my friend. Oh,” I said, surprised I’d forgotten. “You haven’t met her yet. I’ll have to drag her over here to talk to you all. She’s staying with some girl, Glenda, I think her name is…”
“Galina?” Liam asked incredulously. “The Russian?”
“Yeah,” I answered uncomfortably. “But, I mean, Tori’s from the same town as me … so she’s not really a Russian.”
“But if she’s staying with a Russian …”
“Just because Meg is staying with me doesn’t make her a freak,” Daw said as she walked out the door.
“So you’re an American then, like them Prescotts and the carnies,” Liam assumed. “Not a Russian but not a Freak. A mediator.”
“I’m nothing but a person,” I answered loftily, a vein struck by Liam’s attempt to categorise me.
“Okay, okay,” Liam said, a knowledgeable smile plucking at his lips as if he was trying to appease me. “Go visit this Victoria.”
I waved goodbye to Liam and Daw, glad I had made friends so quickly with these new people. It had seemed like I’d known them for ages, not only one day. But then again, so much had happened in those twenty-four hours that I felt almost dizzy. I’d already met so many people; I could hardly match names to faces. Could it have only been yesterday that I’d left home?
My mind was so far away that I didn’t pay attention to where I was going; assuming that the road I was walking was an easy one to remember. But soon I found myself lost in the labyrinth of stalls that had sprung up since the last time I’d navigated the fairground. I was so thoroughly lost I had no idea of where I had come from; let alone where I was going.
“You seem a bit out of your element, Miss Woodville” said a familiar voice. I turned a corner and leaning against the door with the rabbit in a hat engraving was the ever-card shuffling Anton.
I laughed uneasily. It was the first time since my earliest visit to the carnival that we’d been alone together.
“I’m quite lost, to be honest,” I said. “I should really pay attention to where I’m going instead of just marching off without thinking.”
He smiled, but kept his eyes down. I couldn’t help but notice the perfect contours of his jaw as it was lit and shaded by the angle of the sun, the line of light which ran down his nose on the side in shadow, the tips of his long downcast eyelashes which could only be seen in the purest sunshine. I swallowed hard.
“You’re looking for Miss Youdell I take it,” he inquired. I cleared my throat.
“Yes, I am. Do you know where I can find her?”
“I presume she’s still asleep. Last night’s show was physically challenging for her.”
The information clicked in my brain, followed by a sour pang of jealousy. She got to spend all night in the company of this beautiful, mysterious boy I thought mutinously. I hope her whole body aches.
“That’s right, she had her first show last night,” I said. “Did everything go well?”
“Everything went according to plan,” he answered aloofly. “She just needs to rest now. I’m sure her system isn’t accustomed to the draining effort her job entails.”
She’ll get over it.
“Well,” I sighed. “I’m not sure what else to do. I guess I have to stop being so impulsive, I always end up in situations like this.”
“Situations like what?” He probed, those blue eyes darting up to mine, under a slightly inclined brow. I had never seen emotion on those usually blank features before, and it left me slightly off-guard.
“Where I don’t take other people into account,” I let slip. I mentally shook myself. “Sometimes I can be a little bit selfish, I guess.”
He smiled, looking down. “I don’t find you selfish. You wouldn’t be visiting your friend if you were.”
I blushed, and ignored the compliment, chuckling nervously. “No offence, but you don’t really know me all that much.”
“True,” he agreed. “I wonder if your new friends know you so well.”
A cold hand twisted my stomach muscles and I looked away. What would my new friends, Daw and Liam, do if they knew I was talking to Anton?
“Send em back where they came from, I say. Them and anyone who hangs out with them.” That’s what Liam had said. Could he have included me in that statement?
“I have to go,” I blurted out. But I didn’t move. Anton raised his head slowly, his eyes suddenly cold, like a storm tossed winter ocean.
He nodded and surveyed the cards in his hands. Geeze, couldn’t he go anywhere without them? I stumbled away, trying to put distance between us. All I did was get myself more lost.