Bottom of the Ocean
Bottom of the Ocean
“Miley, wait!” the boy called after the girl, as she walked swiftly down the street. He followed after her, not caring if the paparazzis saw them.
The girl turned around, her long, curly dark brown hair swooshing out behind her shoulders. “Nick,” she said calmly, though her eyes flashed with anger and hurt, “you lied to me. How can I forgive that?”
“I love you though!”
If Miley Cyrus thought she had heard the biggest lie of her life before that, she was quite mistaken.
“Bull crap,” she said, walking back towards him. “You say you love me, and then you go behind my back and cheat with Selena. Selena Gomez, Nick! Did you think I was stupid?”
“No! But I thought-”
“Well, it seems like you didn’t think at all.”
“Miles, I didn’t think that you would-”
And once again, he was cut off.
“Nicholas Jonas, don’t ever call me that again. We’re over and done.”
She continued to walk away, her head held high. From the back, she looked like she was walking away from a great concert, when in reality her face held tear stains from hurt, jealousy, and love.
**--**--**
The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you, oh you
You’re vain
Your games
You’re insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry
I don’t know which side to buy
Your friends they’re jerks when you act like them
Just know it hurts
I want to be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
Miley continued to sing, letting the words just roll off her tongue. They were so true, these lyrics, and the personality of the song seemed to fit the disaster. She could feel her cheeks flaming, and her eyes beginning to tear up, but she blinked the tears away and breathed deeper.
Finally, Miley reached the bridge, and then sang the final chorus. She held the last “ohh” before ending with a large smile on her face, waving to the dark crowd in front of her. All she could see were glowsticks waving like mad, and flashes from cameras. The song seemed to be a hit; the fans were screaming like crazy.
She thanked them one last time, before heading off stage to change. There, sitting in a high chair, getting touch ups on his face, was Nick. His eyes were closed with concentration, no doubt reviewing lyrics in his head and calming his mind before he went on stage with his brothers.
But as soon as Miley walked through the room to her changing room, his eyes snapped open. They followed her, watching her long and curly hair flow out behind her as she walked. He watched her until she closed the door to her changing room, and you could hear the flurry of adults re-doing her hair and make up, and getting her changed.
As soon as she was out of sight, Nick felt that he was safe to close his eyes again. He was lightly humming When You Look Me in the Eyes, reviewing every stunt he had to perform at the exact moment in the music.
He was humming through the last chorus when his touch ups were done, and he jumped off the chair and went to join his brothers.
They all picked up their guitars (or tambourine, in Joe’s case) and began warming up, singing through some of the choruses of their songs and just simply doing scales. They had been going on for about three minutes when Miley came racing back out, holding her mic, and sped right on without another glance. She ran onto the stage, with a large smile on her face, and began to talk.
“So I hope you all remembered that I had another new song for you guys,” she said, smiling at the screams that followed. “Good. This is a special treat, and I wrote it just last night. This is Bottom of the Ocean.”
The opening chords began with a few low beats from the drummer, and then Miley’s beautiful voice could be heard throughout the whole stadium. Nick stopped his strumming to listen, and soon found himself lost in the beat.
It’s been in the past, for awhile
I get a flash, and I smile
Am I crazy still miss you baby
It was real, it was right
But it burned too hot to survive
All that’s left is, all these ashes
Where does the love go? I don’t know
When it’s all said and done,
How could I be losing you forever
After all the time we spent together
I have to know why I had to lose you
Now you’ve just become like everything I’ll never find again
At the bottom of the ocean
Doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Nick suddenly realized exactly who this was written for. He saw her slightly turn her head to look at him, and just as she did so, the light caught her face in just a way that Nick could see a single tear slip down her cheek.
The song was written for him, and he knew it. As she turned back to her fans and the next verse started, he realized what an idiot he had been.
He had had a girl who loved him right there in front of his nose, and she wasn’t going to go behind his back just like another would. She was right there for him, and he didn’t even see it.
In a dream you appear
For awhile, you were here
So I keep sleeping, just to keep you with me
I’ll draw a map,
Connect the dots
With all the memories that I got
That I’ve been missing, I’ll keep reliving
Where does the love go? I don’t know
When it’s all said and done,
How could I be losing you forever
After all the time we spent together
I have to know why I had to lose you
Now you’ve just become like everything I’ll never find again
At the bottom of the ocean
Doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
This is it
Let go
Breathe
You don’t have to love me for me
To baby, ever understand
Just know that I loved the time that we both had
And that I don’t ever want to see you sad, be happy
And I don’t wanna hold you
If you don’t wanna tell me that you love me babe,
Just know I’m gonna have to walk away,
I’ll be big enough for both of us to say, be happy
Doo doo doo doo doo (be happy)
Doo doo doo doo (be happy)
Doo doo doo doo (be happy)
Be happy, mmmmhmmmm, be happy
The song was like a slap in the face to Nick. He had never realized what he had meant to her, and he didn’t even realize how much she meant to him, until it was too late. And now, for sure, it was.
Miley ran off stage just then, not even glancing at Nick. She smiled at Kevin and Joe, who both gave her a thumbs up, but didn’t seem to even notice Nick was in the room. He sat down next to his brothers on the couch, and just strummed meaningless chords on his guitar until it was time to go on.
Twenty minutes and five songs later, Nick was silently closing the case to his guitar when he saw a shadow come over him. He looked up to see Kevin, watching him, with a clenched jaw.
“What?” Nick asked, though he knew what he was receiving the semi-glare for. Of course Miley talked to his older brother.
Kevin glanced around the room to make sure they were not going to be over heard before he took his little brother’s shoulder and stared into his eyes intensely.
“What did you do to Miley?”
“Nothing, Kev. We just broke up.”
“Then what was the song for? It hasn’t even been twenty four hours and she’s already written two songs about it.”
Nick let his head fall in shame. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know.”
“Know…what, exactly?” Kevin asked.
Nick mumbled something incoherently as Kevin shook his head slightly.
“What?” Kevin asked.
“I loved her, okay?! Jeez!” Nick stumbled back a few steps with a pained and angry look on his face. Kevin’s eyes widened momentarily before he recomposed himself.
“How could you not have known?” he asked.
“I just didn’t,” Nick growled, before stomping out of the dressing area. Kevin looked after his little brother with sympathy, and prayed that he could work everything out.
**--**--**
Later that night, Nick was lying quietly in his bunk, listening to the soft snores of his two older brothers. He was fighting in his own mind what he should do about Miley. One side said to stay away, and the other said to snatch her right back.
He finally gave in and took out his phone.
Miley, he typed, I’m really sorry. I know I was wrong. I know—
Delete delete delete.
It just didn’t sound right to him. It didn’t sound….sincere. Or real.
Miley, I just wanted to apologize. Everything was entirely my fault. I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until I lost you. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. I understand if you don’t forgive me and don’t want me back, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am, and how much I value you. Please at least talk to me so we can at least be friends. Love, Nick.
He read it over and over again, making sure it sounded realistic, and not dumb. After scruntinizing over it for twenty minutes, he finally got the nerve to hover his finger over the send button. He read it one last time, and then pressed the button that could either save his heart, or rip it into millions of different pieces.
**--**--**
It was a few weeks later, and Nick and his brothers were still on tour with Miley. Miley had never responded to Nick’s text message, and didn’t show any signs of even reading it. In fact, she didn’t show any signs of Nick even exsisting.
Every day he saw her, he felt more and more out of place. She spoke with Joe and Kevin, obviously having a good time hanging out with them, but Nick was treated like he wasn’t even alive. Joe and Kevin had given up on trying to include Nick in the conversation when Miley decided to hide Joe’s tambourine right before a concert. After that, Nick was left to deal on his own.
So now he was going out with Selena Gomez, the girl he cheated with on Miley. But it was just to keep his heart in one piece. He thought she was a nice girl and a good friend, but he didn’t really think of her in any other way.
No one knew about his relationship with Selena. They had agreed to keep it a secret for awhile, however many times the paparrazi and magazines guessed that they were dating.
But that fantasy of the secret seemed to disenigrate right before their eyes.
“Hey,” Nick said into his phone. It was a Thursday night, right before sound check for yet another concert with Miley.
“Hey Nick,” Selena said in her sweet tone. “What’s up?”
“Oh, nothing,” Nick said, sounding very bored. He was sitting in a common area, right off of the stage. It was inbetween Miley’s dressing rooms, and he and his brothers’. “We’re just getting ready for a sound check.”
“Is it really that time over there?” she asked. She was over three thousand miles way, in California. “Oh, I guess it is,” she answered her own question.
“Yeah. So what’re you doing?” Nick asked into the phone, looking for anything to do instead of just sitting around and feeling guilty about Miley. “Anything fun?”
“Not really. I’m just talking to you. Demi just left though.”
Nick was silent for a few moments, not really knowing what to say. Finally, after what seemed an eternity of biting his bottom lip in concentration, Selena spoke up.
“I wish I were with you, though,” she said with a sigh.
“Yeah, me too.” Nick said it without thinking, even though it was true.
“So how’s New York?”
She seemed to want to keep the conversation going, and since Nick was seeming uncapable to do so himself, she took over.
“It’s okay, I guess. The same as always.”
“Did you visit Jersey this time?”
“No, I wish we did though. We didn’t have a show there.”
“Is there one at all for this tour?”
“No.”
“That sucks. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.”
There was silence for a few more moments until Joe came bursting into the room.
“Nick!” he yelled running up to him. “Sound check in five minutes!”
“Yes, Joe, I know,” Nick replied in an annoyed tone. “Can I have some peace now?”
“Who’re you talking to?” Joe asked, completely ignoring Nick’s hint.
“Demi,” Nick lied easily.
“Ohhh! Let me talk to her!”
“No, I don’t think that’s the best-”
But before Nick had time to say another word, Joe had snatched the phone out of his hand. He put it up to his ear and began to talk rapidly, like a five-year-old on a sugar rush.
“Hey Demi! How’s it going? We’re in New York, did you hear? We passed Texas already, but I’m sure we could fly you out here for a show or something. It’s awesome being on tour with Miley! Shes’ so fun and cool and full of energy and-”
Nick could hear Selena’s laughter filling the phone. “Slow down there, Danger, before you hurt yourself.” Nick could here she had altered her voice so ever so slightly, and she sounded exactly like her best friend, Demi Lovato.
“I’m just making sure you’re up to everything! Jeez, is it such a crime? I mean, why can’t a guy just talk? Are they supposed to be limited to one word answers? I love talking! It’s my favorite hobby! Well, besides singing and playing the guitar and tamborine and stuff, but you know, those are more like life. So they don’t really-”
“Joe. Breathe, boy.”
Joe took a big inhale, and then let it all out slowly. He had been turning a little blue in the face from lack of air.
“Now tell me, in ONE WORD, how much sugar have you had in the past twenty minutes?”
“Probably a lot. I mean, I love sugar. It’s the best food group! Well, I like apples and peanut butter too, but sugar’s the best. It gives you so much energy you feel like you could just-”
Once again, Selena cut him off.
“Did I not say one word? Now, let me talk to Nick. We were talking about something important, you know.
“Ohhhh, what?” Joe asked. “I hate secrets! They annoy me! And-”
This time, it was Nick who cut him off, by taking the phone right out of his hand.
“Thanks Joe, but bye.”
Nick held the phone behind his back as he pushed Joe from the room, even though they were all allowed in there.
“Bye Demi!” he nearly screemed, just before Nick slammed the door in his face.
“Hey, sorry about that. And thanks for playing along. I had no idea you could sound so much like Demi!” Nick said, sounding quite surprised. He fell back onto the couch that was situtated in the middle of the common room.
“Oh, yeah. No problem. I think it’s funny when Joe gets like that,” Selena said, slipping back into her normal voice.
“He gets annoying to me.”
“Well, you do live with him.”
Again, there was silence. Neither one of them really knew what to say anymore, and it seemed that this was happening quite often.
“Well, I better go, Nick started. “Sound check is about to start, and I don’t need both Kevin and Joe in here yelling at me.”
“Okay. I’ll text you in an hour or two, ‘kay?”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Goodluck!”
Click.
Nick sighed, sounding quite aggrivated. He was being so mean to Selena, leading her on like this, but he couldn’t bring himself to break up with her. Only when he was with Miley again did he feel safe to back out of the relationship. There was just no way his heart would stay in one piece if Selena wasn’t there to help him mend it back together again.
But was that really all she was good for? That couldn’t be right. She was too nice, too sweet, to be only good for that purpose was an insult to her.
Nick shook his head, trying to clear his mind. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate during the sound check, not to mention the concert itself, if he had all of these thoughts swimming in his head. He had to clear them now, before he started to become more and more obsessed, which he found to be more true every morning when he woke up.
Nick was starting to feel the strain of a guilty conscience.
**--**--**
What goes around comes around.
Miley sat center stage with a beautiful black acoustic guitar hung around her shoulders. Most of the fans were shocked because she only played the guitar for songs as serious as I Miss You, and that was it. The Jonas brothers were backstage watching her. She took a few deep breaths and started to play the guitar . Her fingers were like butter on the strings as she played the intro gracefully, and then she lowered her mouth to the mike .
Hey Boy, is she everything you wanted in me?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Her heart and throat burned as if she was opening up a new deep wound. Because that exactly what she was doing.
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
Everybody could tell she was giving this song her all . It was like her heart was singing out loud thumping through her chest. The Jonas brothers sat sidestage; Nick with his heart starting to break and Kevin and Joe watching their little sister singing her soul out. Momentarily they turned towards Nick, only to glare at their idiotic brother.
Now Boy, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now
And maybe I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to take your last name
Miley’s voice cracked at the last word and Nick gasped loudly along with everyone else. A single tear found its way down his cheek.
Thought it was me and you, babe
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong
Miley sang, and the previous burning in her throat now causing her to shut her eyes as thears flowed through them restlessly. She shut her eyes but they kept flowing, like a neverending fountain.
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Can you tell me is this fair?
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that
What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that
Don't want to think about it (no)
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
Miley stood and made her way to the drums as everyone watched her through curious glances. She sat on the stool and gripped the drumsticks staking deep, hollow breaths and wiped away a few of her tears.
Let me paint this picture for you, baby
You spend your nights alone
And she never comes home
And every time you call her
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That she's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
She hit the drums with feeling.And even after everything Nick did to her she felt sad for beautiful face that captivated her heart.
When you cheated boy
My heart bleeded boy
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Boy you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right
But boy I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see
Even though she knew she would take him back.
She couldn’t finish the rest of the planned words, and she dropped the sticks against the drums and put her head in her hands, her tears hitting the tops of the drums. Evrybody in the audience was crying.
Nick sat backstage next to his brothers, feeling like stone. There was no way he could fix this.
But he had to, and he was going to.
**--**--**
Another concert done, and still, Miley was avoiding Nick.
How much longer could she go like this? If she didn’t know it before, she sure did now. He had her heart locked away in a hard-combo locked safe, and there was no way he was letting it go.
Every time she looked over at him, she literally forgot any lyric she was singing. She would find herself staring at his perfect curls, his thick biceps, his beautiful face. Once or twice she almost fell off of the stage, because the way he did certain stunts or the way he sang those songs would make her heart stop.
There was no way she could live through this.
She had to get away.
Which was exactly what she did. As soon as the concert was over, Miley ran outside of the arena, stashing her Hannah wig in one of the large pockets of her coat. She ran and ran, until an ominous boom sounded above her head, and lights flashed across the sky. She was trapped in a thunder storm, and had no where to go.
So instead of heading back, she continued into the unknown, which in reality was actually Central Park. Her hood was over her head, her hands were wrapped around herself, and she was already almost drenched from the rain that was pounding down from the skies.
But Miley kept going. She just stared at her feet, praying for a miracle. Not something that would involve Nick. No; he was, amazingly, not on her mind. All she could think of was how dead she would be once they found her, or how much trouble she would be in if someone reconized her.
Another flash of lightning filled her eyes, and another crack of thunder sounded in her ears. By now, Miley’s beautiful brown hair was soaked, her light curls hanging limply over her shoulders and down her front. She was blinking rain droplets from her eye lashes, and her hands were balled up in fists under her arms, trying to keep warm.
“Miley!”
Her name was almost completely covered up by another rumble of thunder, but she could her the echo of the voice around her. She could also hear the faint sound of footsteps treading (or more likely sloshing) through mud, and the footsteps were coming from directly behind her.
At first, she didn’t recognize the voice. It sounded almost hoarse, and certainly quite low, and it didn’t register in her mind. She put her head down lower, pulled her arms around herself tighter, and walked even faster. But the footsteps were going faster too, and were getting even closer to her.
“Miley, please wait!”
She kept walking, still not knowing who it was.
Or maybe she did, and didn’t want to face him.
“Miley, please!
She walked faster, and the squashing of mud behind her was even closer.
“MILEY!”
She swiveled around, her soaked hair flipping around and sticking to her face. By now she was so soaked through and so cold that she was shaking.
“Miley, I’m so so sorry,” he said. His hair was soaked too, but it wasn’t under a hood like hers.
“Nick, I read your text message. I know you are, but I can’t believe you! You promised to stay with me when you asked me to be your girldfriend!” Miley hurled at him. They were both breathing hard; it was a true The Notebook moment. They stood about five feet away from each other, both seeming frozen to the spot.
Or at least Miley was.
Nick took a step towards her, holding out his arm like he would touch her. Though she was cold, she didn’t even really want to look at him. She took a step backwards, away from him.
But she did want to look at him. She wanted to be held, she wanted to be safe in his arms, she wanted to be able to look in his face and be able to call him her own. She wanted to kiss him. But she couldn’t let him break her heart again.
“Miley, if you would just listen to me, I could explain-”
“No! Nick, don’t you understand? Obviously you were greedy enough to want two girls, and I wasn’t good enough for you! How do I know if I will ever be good enough for you?”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t even seem to be looking at her anymore. He seemed to be staring off at something behind her, almost like he could see right through her and she wasn’t even there.
Miley turned around, curious as to what he was looking at. She dropped her arms to the side, even though she was still shaking with the coldness that surrounded her, and squinted into the rain.
And suddenly, there was a warm hand on her arm. It turned her around, so that she was face to face with Nick. They weren’t even an inch apart; he was already sending warmth to her body that was still shaking.
He cupped one hand around the side of her face, and let his thumb gently stroke her cheek. His other hand found it’s way to her lower back, and pulled her even closer. By now, Miley was completely out of her senses, not even knowing what she was doing or feeling.
Nick leaned down, barely touching his lips to Miley’s. When she didn’t respond, he pressed down harder, hoping she would kiss back. When she didn’t move, be began to pull away, knowing all of his efforts were wasted. But she slid her arms up and around his neck, locking him in place.
And then, as if the miracle were really true, the rain stopped. The clouds didn’t move away to show a rainbow and the sun, but they stayed there, almost symbolizing the cloud that still hung over Miley’s and Nick’s relationships.
After the kiss ended, they stayed together, in a tight embrace, with Miley’s head on Nick’s chest, and his head on hers. He seemed to pull her closer to stop her from shaking, and she was leaning into him, like she wouldn’t be able to hold herself up on her own.
“I love you,” he said. “I just want you to know. I always have. It just took a huge mistake for me to realize it. I really am sorry.”
“I love you too,” she said, almost whispering it. “I forgive you.”
Nick kissed her one more time, and pulled himself away from her, only to wrap his arm around her shoulder. They walked back to the arena in silence, but with a knowing presence inside them both. Nothing needed to be said once they got back, and no one asked what had happened.
They weren’t at the bottom of the ocean anymore.
The girl turned around, her long, curly dark brown hair swooshing out behind her shoulders. “Nick,” she said calmly, though her eyes flashed with anger and hurt, “you lied to me. How can I forgive that?”
“I love you though!”
If Miley Cyrus thought she had heard the biggest lie of her life before that, she was quite mistaken.
“Bull crap,” she said, walking back towards him. “You say you love me, and then you go behind my back and cheat with Selena. Selena Gomez, Nick! Did you think I was stupid?”
“No! But I thought-”
“Well, it seems like you didn’t think at all.”
“Miles, I didn’t think that you would-”
And once again, he was cut off.
“Nicholas Jonas, don’t ever call me that again. We’re over and done.”
She continued to walk away, her head held high. From the back, she looked like she was walking away from a great concert, when in reality her face held tear stains from hurt, jealousy, and love.
**--**--**
The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you, oh you
You’re vain
Your games
You’re insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry
I don’t know which side to buy
Your friends they’re jerks when you act like them
Just know it hurts
I want to be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you
Miley continued to sing, letting the words just roll off her tongue. They were so true, these lyrics, and the personality of the song seemed to fit the disaster. She could feel her cheeks flaming, and her eyes beginning to tear up, but she blinked the tears away and breathed deeper.
Finally, Miley reached the bridge, and then sang the final chorus. She held the last “ohh” before ending with a large smile on her face, waving to the dark crowd in front of her. All she could see were glowsticks waving like mad, and flashes from cameras. The song seemed to be a hit; the fans were screaming like crazy.
She thanked them one last time, before heading off stage to change. There, sitting in a high chair, getting touch ups on his face, was Nick. His eyes were closed with concentration, no doubt reviewing lyrics in his head and calming his mind before he went on stage with his brothers.
But as soon as Miley walked through the room to her changing room, his eyes snapped open. They followed her, watching her long and curly hair flow out behind her as she walked. He watched her until she closed the door to her changing room, and you could hear the flurry of adults re-doing her hair and make up, and getting her changed.
As soon as she was out of sight, Nick felt that he was safe to close his eyes again. He was lightly humming When You Look Me in the Eyes, reviewing every stunt he had to perform at the exact moment in the music.
He was humming through the last chorus when his touch ups were done, and he jumped off the chair and went to join his brothers.
They all picked up their guitars (or tambourine, in Joe’s case) and began warming up, singing through some of the choruses of their songs and just simply doing scales. They had been going on for about three minutes when Miley came racing back out, holding her mic, and sped right on without another glance. She ran onto the stage, with a large smile on her face, and began to talk.
“So I hope you all remembered that I had another new song for you guys,” she said, smiling at the screams that followed. “Good. This is a special treat, and I wrote it just last night. This is Bottom of the Ocean.”
The opening chords began with a few low beats from the drummer, and then Miley’s beautiful voice could be heard throughout the whole stadium. Nick stopped his strumming to listen, and soon found himself lost in the beat.
It’s been in the past, for awhile
I get a flash, and I smile
Am I crazy still miss you baby
It was real, it was right
But it burned too hot to survive
All that’s left is, all these ashes
Where does the love go? I don’t know
When it’s all said and done,
How could I be losing you forever
After all the time we spent together
I have to know why I had to lose you
Now you’ve just become like everything I’ll never find again
At the bottom of the ocean
Doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Nick suddenly realized exactly who this was written for. He saw her slightly turn her head to look at him, and just as she did so, the light caught her face in just a way that Nick could see a single tear slip down her cheek.
The song was written for him, and he knew it. As she turned back to her fans and the next verse started, he realized what an idiot he had been.
He had had a girl who loved him right there in front of his nose, and she wasn’t going to go behind his back just like another would. She was right there for him, and he didn’t even see it.
In a dream you appear
For awhile, you were here
So I keep sleeping, just to keep you with me
I’ll draw a map,
Connect the dots
With all the memories that I got
That I’ve been missing, I’ll keep reliving
Where does the love go? I don’t know
When it’s all said and done,
How could I be losing you forever
After all the time we spent together
I have to know why I had to lose you
Now you’ve just become like everything I’ll never find again
At the bottom of the ocean
Doo-doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
This is it
Let go
Breathe
You don’t have to love me for me
To baby, ever understand
Just know that I loved the time that we both had
And that I don’t ever want to see you sad, be happy
And I don’t wanna hold you
If you don’t wanna tell me that you love me babe,
Just know I’m gonna have to walk away,
I’ll be big enough for both of us to say, be happy
Doo doo doo doo doo (be happy)
Doo doo doo doo (be happy)
Doo doo doo doo (be happy)
Be happy, mmmmhmmmm, be happy
The song was like a slap in the face to Nick. He had never realized what he had meant to her, and he didn’t even realize how much she meant to him, until it was too late. And now, for sure, it was.
Miley ran off stage just then, not even glancing at Nick. She smiled at Kevin and Joe, who both gave her a thumbs up, but didn’t seem to even notice Nick was in the room. He sat down next to his brothers on the couch, and just strummed meaningless chords on his guitar until it was time to go on.
Twenty minutes and five songs later, Nick was silently closing the case to his guitar when he saw a shadow come over him. He looked up to see Kevin, watching him, with a clenched jaw.
“What?” Nick asked, though he knew what he was receiving the semi-glare for. Of course Miley talked to his older brother.
Kevin glanced around the room to make sure they were not going to be over heard before he took his little brother’s shoulder and stared into his eyes intensely.
“What did you do to Miley?”
“Nothing, Kev. We just broke up.”
“Then what was the song for? It hasn’t even been twenty four hours and she’s already written two songs about it.”
Nick let his head fall in shame. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know.”
“Know…what, exactly?” Kevin asked.
Nick mumbled something incoherently as Kevin shook his head slightly.
“What?” Kevin asked.
“I loved her, okay?! Jeez!” Nick stumbled back a few steps with a pained and angry look on his face. Kevin’s eyes widened momentarily before he recomposed himself.
“How could you not have known?” he asked.
“I just didn’t,” Nick growled, before stomping out of the dressing area. Kevin looked after his little brother with sympathy, and prayed that he could work everything out.
**--**--**
Later that night, Nick was lying quietly in his bunk, listening to the soft snores of his two older brothers. He was fighting in his own mind what he should do about Miley. One side said to stay away, and the other said to snatch her right back.
He finally gave in and took out his phone.
Miley, he typed, I’m really sorry. I know I was wrong. I know—
Delete delete delete.
It just didn’t sound right to him. It didn’t sound….sincere. Or real.
Miley, I just wanted to apologize. Everything was entirely my fault. I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until I lost you. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. I understand if you don’t forgive me and don’t want me back, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am, and how much I value you. Please at least talk to me so we can at least be friends. Love, Nick.
He read it over and over again, making sure it sounded realistic, and not dumb. After scruntinizing over it for twenty minutes, he finally got the nerve to hover his finger over the send button. He read it one last time, and then pressed the button that could either save his heart, or rip it into millions of different pieces.
**--**--**
It was a few weeks later, and Nick and his brothers were still on tour with Miley. Miley had never responded to Nick’s text message, and didn’t show any signs of even reading it. In fact, she didn’t show any signs of Nick even exsisting.
Every day he saw her, he felt more and more out of place. She spoke with Joe and Kevin, obviously having a good time hanging out with them, but Nick was treated like he wasn’t even alive. Joe and Kevin had given up on trying to include Nick in the conversation when Miley decided to hide Joe’s tambourine right before a concert. After that, Nick was left to deal on his own.
So now he was going out with Selena Gomez, the girl he cheated with on Miley. But it was just to keep his heart in one piece. He thought she was a nice girl and a good friend, but he didn’t really think of her in any other way.
No one knew about his relationship with Selena. They had agreed to keep it a secret for awhile, however many times the paparrazi and magazines guessed that they were dating.
But that fantasy of the secret seemed to disenigrate right before their eyes.
“Hey,” Nick said into his phone. It was a Thursday night, right before sound check for yet another concert with Miley.
“Hey Nick,” Selena said in her sweet tone. “What’s up?”
“Oh, nothing,” Nick said, sounding very bored. He was sitting in a common area, right off of the stage. It was inbetween Miley’s dressing rooms, and he and his brothers’. “We’re just getting ready for a sound check.”
“Is it really that time over there?” she asked. She was over three thousand miles way, in California. “Oh, I guess it is,” she answered her own question.
“Yeah. So what’re you doing?” Nick asked into the phone, looking for anything to do instead of just sitting around and feeling guilty about Miley. “Anything fun?”
“Not really. I’m just talking to you. Demi just left though.”
Nick was silent for a few moments, not really knowing what to say. Finally, after what seemed an eternity of biting his bottom lip in concentration, Selena spoke up.
“I wish I were with you, though,” she said with a sigh.
“Yeah, me too.” Nick said it without thinking, even though it was true.
“So how’s New York?”
She seemed to want to keep the conversation going, and since Nick was seeming uncapable to do so himself, she took over.
“It’s okay, I guess. The same as always.”
“Did you visit Jersey this time?”
“No, I wish we did though. We didn’t have a show there.”
“Is there one at all for this tour?”
“No.”
“That sucks. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.”
There was silence for a few more moments until Joe came bursting into the room.
“Nick!” he yelled running up to him. “Sound check in five minutes!”
“Yes, Joe, I know,” Nick replied in an annoyed tone. “Can I have some peace now?”
“Who’re you talking to?” Joe asked, completely ignoring Nick’s hint.
“Demi,” Nick lied easily.
“Ohhh! Let me talk to her!”
“No, I don’t think that’s the best-”
But before Nick had time to say another word, Joe had snatched the phone out of his hand. He put it up to his ear and began to talk rapidly, like a five-year-old on a sugar rush.
“Hey Demi! How’s it going? We’re in New York, did you hear? We passed Texas already, but I’m sure we could fly you out here for a show or something. It’s awesome being on tour with Miley! Shes’ so fun and cool and full of energy and-”
Nick could hear Selena’s laughter filling the phone. “Slow down there, Danger, before you hurt yourself.” Nick could here she had altered her voice so ever so slightly, and she sounded exactly like her best friend, Demi Lovato.
“I’m just making sure you’re up to everything! Jeez, is it such a crime? I mean, why can’t a guy just talk? Are they supposed to be limited to one word answers? I love talking! It’s my favorite hobby! Well, besides singing and playing the guitar and tamborine and stuff, but you know, those are more like life. So they don’t really-”
“Joe. Breathe, boy.”
Joe took a big inhale, and then let it all out slowly. He had been turning a little blue in the face from lack of air.
“Now tell me, in ONE WORD, how much sugar have you had in the past twenty minutes?”
“Probably a lot. I mean, I love sugar. It’s the best food group! Well, I like apples and peanut butter too, but sugar’s the best. It gives you so much energy you feel like you could just-”
Once again, Selena cut him off.
“Did I not say one word? Now, let me talk to Nick. We were talking about something important, you know.
“Ohhhh, what?” Joe asked. “I hate secrets! They annoy me! And-”
This time, it was Nick who cut him off, by taking the phone right out of his hand.
“Thanks Joe, but bye.”
Nick held the phone behind his back as he pushed Joe from the room, even though they were all allowed in there.
“Bye Demi!” he nearly screemed, just before Nick slammed the door in his face.
“Hey, sorry about that. And thanks for playing along. I had no idea you could sound so much like Demi!” Nick said, sounding quite surprised. He fell back onto the couch that was situtated in the middle of the common room.
“Oh, yeah. No problem. I think it’s funny when Joe gets like that,” Selena said, slipping back into her normal voice.
“He gets annoying to me.”
“Well, you do live with him.”
Again, there was silence. Neither one of them really knew what to say anymore, and it seemed that this was happening quite often.
“Well, I better go, Nick started. “Sound check is about to start, and I don’t need both Kevin and Joe in here yelling at me.”
“Okay. I’ll text you in an hour or two, ‘kay?”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Goodluck!”
Click.
Nick sighed, sounding quite aggrivated. He was being so mean to Selena, leading her on like this, but he couldn’t bring himself to break up with her. Only when he was with Miley again did he feel safe to back out of the relationship. There was just no way his heart would stay in one piece if Selena wasn’t there to help him mend it back together again.
But was that really all she was good for? That couldn’t be right. She was too nice, too sweet, to be only good for that purpose was an insult to her.
Nick shook his head, trying to clear his mind. There was no way he was going to be able to concentrate during the sound check, not to mention the concert itself, if he had all of these thoughts swimming in his head. He had to clear them now, before he started to become more and more obsessed, which he found to be more true every morning when he woke up.
Nick was starting to feel the strain of a guilty conscience.
**--**--**
What goes around comes around.
Miley sat center stage with a beautiful black acoustic guitar hung around her shoulders. Most of the fans were shocked because she only played the guitar for songs as serious as I Miss You, and that was it. The Jonas brothers were backstage watching her. She took a few deep breaths and started to play the guitar . Her fingers were like butter on the strings as she played the intro gracefully, and then she lowered her mouth to the mike .
Hey Boy, is she everything you wanted in me?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Her heart and throat burned as if she was opening up a new deep wound. Because that exactly what she was doing.
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
Everybody could tell she was giving this song her all . It was like her heart was singing out loud thumping through her chest. The Jonas brothers sat sidestage; Nick with his heart starting to break and Kevin and Joe watching their little sister singing her soul out. Momentarily they turned towards Nick, only to glare at their idiotic brother.
Now Boy, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now
And maybe I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to take your last name
Miley’s voice cracked at the last word and Nick gasped loudly along with everyone else. A single tear found its way down his cheek.
Thought it was me and you, babe
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong
Miley sang, and the previous burning in her throat now causing her to shut her eyes as thears flowed through them restlessly. She shut her eyes but they kept flowing, like a neverending fountain.
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Can you tell me is this fair?
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that
What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that
Don't want to think about it (no)
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around
Miley stood and made her way to the drums as everyone watched her through curious glances. She sat on the stool and gripped the drumsticks staking deep, hollow breaths and wiped away a few of her tears.
Let me paint this picture for you, baby
You spend your nights alone
And she never comes home
And every time you call her
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That she's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
She hit the drums with feeling.And even after everything Nick did to her she felt sad for beautiful face that captivated her heart.
When you cheated boy
My heart bleeded boy
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Boy you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right
But boy I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see
Even though she knew she would take him back.
She couldn’t finish the rest of the planned words, and she dropped the sticks against the drums and put her head in her hands, her tears hitting the tops of the drums. Evrybody in the audience was crying.
Nick sat backstage next to his brothers, feeling like stone. There was no way he could fix this.
But he had to, and he was going to.
**--**--**
Another concert done, and still, Miley was avoiding Nick.
How much longer could she go like this? If she didn’t know it before, she sure did now. He had her heart locked away in a hard-combo locked safe, and there was no way he was letting it go.
Every time she looked over at him, she literally forgot any lyric she was singing. She would find herself staring at his perfect curls, his thick biceps, his beautiful face. Once or twice she almost fell off of the stage, because the way he did certain stunts or the way he sang those songs would make her heart stop.
There was no way she could live through this.
She had to get away.
Which was exactly what she did. As soon as the concert was over, Miley ran outside of the arena, stashing her Hannah wig in one of the large pockets of her coat. She ran and ran, until an ominous boom sounded above her head, and lights flashed across the sky. She was trapped in a thunder storm, and had no where to go.
So instead of heading back, she continued into the unknown, which in reality was actually Central Park. Her hood was over her head, her hands were wrapped around herself, and she was already almost drenched from the rain that was pounding down from the skies.
But Miley kept going. She just stared at her feet, praying for a miracle. Not something that would involve Nick. No; he was, amazingly, not on her mind. All she could think of was how dead she would be once they found her, or how much trouble she would be in if someone reconized her.
Another flash of lightning filled her eyes, and another crack of thunder sounded in her ears. By now, Miley’s beautiful brown hair was soaked, her light curls hanging limply over her shoulders and down her front. She was blinking rain droplets from her eye lashes, and her hands were balled up in fists under her arms, trying to keep warm.
“Miley!”
Her name was almost completely covered up by another rumble of thunder, but she could her the echo of the voice around her. She could also hear the faint sound of footsteps treading (or more likely sloshing) through mud, and the footsteps were coming from directly behind her.
At first, she didn’t recognize the voice. It sounded almost hoarse, and certainly quite low, and it didn’t register in her mind. She put her head down lower, pulled her arms around herself tighter, and walked even faster. But the footsteps were going faster too, and were getting even closer to her.
“Miley, please wait!”
She kept walking, still not knowing who it was.
Or maybe she did, and didn’t want to face him.
“Miley, please!
She walked faster, and the squashing of mud behind her was even closer.
“MILEY!”
She swiveled around, her soaked hair flipping around and sticking to her face. By now she was so soaked through and so cold that she was shaking.
“Miley, I’m so so sorry,” he said. His hair was soaked too, but it wasn’t under a hood like hers.
“Nick, I read your text message. I know you are, but I can’t believe you! You promised to stay with me when you asked me to be your girldfriend!” Miley hurled at him. They were both breathing hard; it was a true The Notebook moment. They stood about five feet away from each other, both seeming frozen to the spot.
Or at least Miley was.
Nick took a step towards her, holding out his arm like he would touch her. Though she was cold, she didn’t even really want to look at him. She took a step backwards, away from him.
But she did want to look at him. She wanted to be held, she wanted to be safe in his arms, she wanted to be able to look in his face and be able to call him her own. She wanted to kiss him. But she couldn’t let him break her heart again.
“Miley, if you would just listen to me, I could explain-”
“No! Nick, don’t you understand? Obviously you were greedy enough to want two girls, and I wasn’t good enough for you! How do I know if I will ever be good enough for you?”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t even seem to be looking at her anymore. He seemed to be staring off at something behind her, almost like he could see right through her and she wasn’t even there.
Miley turned around, curious as to what he was looking at. She dropped her arms to the side, even though she was still shaking with the coldness that surrounded her, and squinted into the rain.
And suddenly, there was a warm hand on her arm. It turned her around, so that she was face to face with Nick. They weren’t even an inch apart; he was already sending warmth to her body that was still shaking.
He cupped one hand around the side of her face, and let his thumb gently stroke her cheek. His other hand found it’s way to her lower back, and pulled her even closer. By now, Miley was completely out of her senses, not even knowing what she was doing or feeling.
Nick leaned down, barely touching his lips to Miley’s. When she didn’t respond, he pressed down harder, hoping she would kiss back. When she didn’t move, be began to pull away, knowing all of his efforts were wasted. But she slid her arms up and around his neck, locking him in place.
And then, as if the miracle were really true, the rain stopped. The clouds didn’t move away to show a rainbow and the sun, but they stayed there, almost symbolizing the cloud that still hung over Miley’s and Nick’s relationships.
After the kiss ended, they stayed together, in a tight embrace, with Miley’s head on Nick’s chest, and his head on hers. He seemed to pull her closer to stop her from shaking, and she was leaning into him, like she wouldn’t be able to hold herself up on her own.
“I love you,” he said. “I just want you to know. I always have. It just took a huge mistake for me to realize it. I really am sorry.”
“I love you too,” she said, almost whispering it. “I forgive you.”
Nick kissed her one more time, and pulled himself away from her, only to wrap his arm around her shoulder. They walked back to the arena in silence, but with a knowing presence inside them both. Nothing needed to be said once they got back, and no one asked what had happened.
They weren’t at the bottom of the ocean anymore.
♠ ♠ ♠
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