Sunsets to Sunrises
We All Have Been Degraded
[MADDIE’S POV]
I lay on the floor of the van, looking at a blurry vision of Kennedy. My eyes quickly fluttering open and closed, keeping my tears from falling. Open and closed. Open and closed. Why did the past have to happen? I asked myself, not referring to the one involving me and Kennedy.
It was weeks since Jake had gone, and I felt so alone. Being with Ryan again had brought me brief comfort, but there was still something missing. I’d barely given it any thought, being so busy with the tour. I’m glad that John asked me to go on tour with them, he’d been right; Jake’s passing only crossed my mind at night.
I rolled onto my stomach and put my hands over my ears. “Go away!” I shouted quietly to no one in particular. Maybe to walk talking to my thoughts, trying to push Jake out of my mind. He’d been amazing. Always teched for me at shows, showed up on time, and been there for me. Jake had pushed me, all my barriers. No matter what I did he wanted me to do better. Go farther and push away my fears. Emotionally, physically and sexually. The later always scared me, but in the back of my head there was always a voice. It said the same thing. Jake wants you to get over what happened with Kennedy. He wants you to be able to love other people again. He’d, unfortunately, failed.
I lay on the floor of the van, looking at a blurry vision of Kennedy. My eyes quickly fluttering open and closed, keeping my tears from falling. Open and closed. Open and closed. Why did the past have to happen? I asked myself, not referring to the one involving me and Kennedy.
It was weeks since Jake had gone, and I felt so alone. Being with Ryan again had brought me brief comfort, but there was still something missing. I’d barely given it any thought, being so busy with the tour. I’m glad that John asked me to go on tour with them, he’d been right; Jake’s passing only crossed my mind at night.
I rolled onto my stomach and put my hands over my ears. “Go away!” I shouted quietly to no one in particular. Maybe to walk talking to my thoughts, trying to push Jake out of my mind. He’d been amazing. Always teched for me at shows, showed up on time, and been there for me. Jake had pushed me, all my barriers. No matter what I did he wanted me to do better. Go farther and push away my fears. Emotionally, physically and sexually. The later always scared me, but in the back of my head there was always a voice. It said the same thing. Jake wants you to get over what happened with Kennedy. He wants you to be able to love other people again. He’d, unfortunately, failed.
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HAHAHA!I feel so bad because I posted that thing about you guys commenting and then you commented a whole HEAP and then the next chapter is the shortest one of the entire story!
oops.
well, i'll post another chapter tomorrow, ok?
And a bug cyber-hug to everyone who commented Thank youu