Sunsets to Sunrises

I tried, casually, to stretch out my arm in the van, without touching Maddie. We’d been in the car four eight hours straight, and still had another five to go; tour was over, and we were on our way back to Scottsdale, Tempe, Chandler and wherever else the boys needed to go.
“Everyone ready for back to school?” Maddie asked, trying to start up some conversation in the silent car.

“Not, me!” John called out.

“Same here, bro!” Jared and John high-fived, as they had both graduation the year previous. Now there was only Kennedy, Daisy and I in senior year; Pat and Garrett in grade 11, the babies of the group.

“So, uh,” I said, “what classes is everyone taking this year?”

“I’ve got English and Math, of course. Music and gym in my first semester. Not like I’m planning on doing any of the work though.” Pat chimed in. Everyone just rolled their eyes; we all knew that Pat didn’t actually do as much of his school work as his mom, Lisa, did. She had taken AP English in her last year, and practically did everything for Pat. It wasn’t that she just wanted Pat’s work to get done at all costs. She realized that the band was Pat’s top priority, as well as everyone else’s. She understood it so much that she even designated one of the rooms in her house as the band room, soundproofing it all up for practices.

“I have Visual Art, Photo, Math, English, Bio and Chem first.” Daisy said from the front seat. She loved photography, and was damn good at it. She’d taking nearly all of our promotional pictures, in collaboration with Pat’s brother; Tim; calling themselves Naturally Diesel Photography. I have only seen a few of her other works, like painting and sketches, but they were anything but amateur. Even though she had that knack for the art world, she was still academic; ever since I could remember Daisy has wanted to be an radiologic technician, a choice no one, not even John, understood. Even though we all urged her to peruse her photography, but she still stuck with her choice.

“Um. I still don’t know what I’m gonna take,” Garrett commented before sticking his headphones back in his ears. That pretty much summed up Garrett’s relationship with school. There simply wasn’t one. It was the thing you went to during the day, and then came home without a second thought.

I turned to Maddie, who had remained silent throughout our conversations. “What are you taking?” I asked, even though I probably already knew. Physics, Bio, Chem, Photo, and Writer’s Craft. She had fixed her schedule last year so that first semester she had English and Math, year 11, and then year 12 the next semester. I assumed that she would be taking as many sciences as possible. Maddie was a die-hard vegetarian. She didn’t start because everyone else seemed to be. Meat hadn’t touched her lips since she was about 9 years old. Ever since her mother had taken her to Chinatown, and she’d seen the geese hanging from the windows. And photo, I figured, for a fun course with Daisy. I knew that she was amazing at it, photography, but would never own up to it; Daisy was the artistic one in that pair. Maddie, she was the musical one. She took writer’s craft to develop her lyrics. When we were still together she’d shown me some of her songs; they were beautiful, but she was and is still to embarrassed to sing them for anyone but John. I know that she still helps him write some of our songs, but for some reason she has never thought hers where good enough.

“Um, well, some sciences. Writer’s craft and photo.” She tucked a dark curl behind her ear, “What about you?” She looked at me, timidly, her large green eyes looked up at me. There, in that moment, she looked incredibly small. She was the girl who, for the past year, had made me feel so small and unwanted. But here she was, looking up and not down onto me.

“Cool,” was all I could think to say, before turning away from her, pulling out my iPod, and clicking on some Thrice to help me absorb this new effect. I was only a few minutes into the song, Artist in the Ambulance, before I felt a tiny tap on my shoulder.

I pulled out one headphone and turned my attention to Maddie. “You never answered.” she simply stated.

“What?”

“What are you taking next year?”

“Oh,” I scratched my head, wondering why she cared, “Physics, English, Math, Business and Media Arts. I don’t think I’m doing gym, though, because soccer is outside of school.”

“Physics? Me, too.”

“Ha ha,” I laughed, nervously, “Maybe we’ll be lab partners again”

“Yea, like in the old days.”

“Oh my lord,” I heard Garrett butt in from the back of the van, “will you two shut up and make out already? It’s obvious that Maddie knows what happened, Kennedy. And we all know that you don’t actually like Sophie. Just. . .I don’t know,” Garrett threw his hands in the air, “I’m sick of trying to figure you two out.”

“Shut the fuck up,” I heard John mutter from the driver’s seat. Daisy, as always, was seated beside him, her hand reaching over to give his a loving pat, where it was placed on the stick shift. I was seated in the middle of the first bench seat, Pat on my right and Maddie on my left, beside the door. Garrett was diagonally to my right behind me, Jared beside him and Max in the only remaining seat. It was a stuffed van to say the least.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours. It seemed as though this car ride would never end. Maddie was already asleep, her head leaning against my shoulder. I had been fighting it, but the invisible weights on the bottom on my eye lids won over, and soon I was fast asleep.

I was standing on the top of a hill, in the midst of a meadow. There was a cool breeze in the warm and dry air. The grass was long and green, daisies and daffodils popped up between the long blades of grass. The sun shone bright; I had to shade my eyes with one hand, while the other searched myself for a pair of Ray Bans. ‘Ahh,’ I thought to myself as I pulled a black pair out of my back pocket. I put them over my eyes, but the sun’s shine was still the same intensity.

Suddenly, the glare was cut off by a little figure running up and over the hill in front of me. It was a little girl, her brown hair was the same shade as mine; the top half tied out of her face with a yellow ribbon; but curly. Like Maddie’s. Her eyes were the same shade of not quite green as mine, and round like Maddie’s. She was dressed in a blue dress, coming to her knees; her feet clad in white dress shoes. Her arms extended out to me, and I reached out for her.

“Gabi!” I heard a familiar voice call. It was Maddie’s. She appeared over the meadow’s hill, calling for the girl, Gabi. “Don’t talk to strangers!” she spoke, even though she had already seen my face. “Come here!” She extended her arm for the girl to come to her.

She did, but her face lingered on mine, her lips mouthing “Daddy?”

I tried to run for her, but a single point on the back of my T-shirt held me back, my legs running but getting me nowhere. Eventually I stopped; Gabi, my daughter, was gone. I turned my back to the blazing sun and opened my mouth in shock.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asked Sophie.

At least, I thought it was her. Her hair was knotted, dirty and wild. Grit was smeared over her greasy face, thick chalky black eyeliner rimmed her puffy red eyes. Her lips were cracked and shrunken. Her nose dripped and she wiped it away with a dry hand, her nails yellowing, overgrown and unkept. Her entire body was thin, except for her stomach, overflowing with fat.

I looked around her and into her surroundings. It was the complete opposite from the tranquil meadow. It was a barren waste land; a thin layer of snow covered the grey, flat ground. Weak trees sprouted in bunches, sparsely, with brown bushes around them.
My mouth opened in an O shape. Slowly I removed my Ray Bans, as they sky was grey. That, however, was a mistake. An invisible light blinded my eyes from all directions. I tried to shield myself from this invisible light, but it shone through. I looked for my sunglasses, but they lay broken on the ground. I looked up to Sophie, she’s head was cocked to one side.

“Kennedy?” A dirty hand reached out for me; the spaces between her fingers were cracked and swollen; blistered. When her hand cam forward, though, so did a great magnitude of force; a wind shooting only from her grotesque hand. It was a loud wind that took up all the air. Then it was quiet. I looked down and saw that my shirt had ripped, revealing the skin around my left pec. Sophie placed her hand over it and looked up at me, our eyes meeting.

“Why do you deny your heart so?” Then the wind started again, this time it was everywhere. I let out a scream as I was swept up into the air and tossed around like a toy. Then I saw nothing; all was a searing white, worse then previous. Then it was black. Dark, dark black.

My dream fizzled away, leaving me with a black inner space for the rest of my slumber.