Sunsets to Sunrises

Beep. Beep. Beep.
My eyelids felt like they had cement blocks tied to the ends of them when I tried to open my eyes.

“What?” I said groggily, looking around. I was wearing a white hospital gown, in a hospital room, and tubes were coming in and out of me every which way. I continued to look around for a few seconds before a sharp, intense pain crept it’s way up my right arm.

“Fuck!” I screamed at the pain, my eyes bolting open.

That is when he walked in. Kennedy, carrying a bottle of white vitamin water, came into my room and took a seat beside my bed.

“Why the hell are you here?” I glared at him, only a little bit happy that he was here. I needed someone here. Even if it was the person I disliked most. “And where is Jake?” I turned my head around the room, looking for him.

“He isn’t here, Maddie.” Kennedy had a very serious look on his face.

“No, shit,” I responded, getting more upset when Kennedy didn’t tell me where Jake was.

I looked towards the door when I heard a tap. The nurse, my nurse I presumed, stood at the door frame with Pat, Jared, John and Garrett hovered behind her. She looked uneasily over her shoulder at the four boys behind her, each one more eager than the next to come in and see me.

“Hey,” the boys said as they tumbled in the room. They sat in the few chairs in the room. Pat tried to sit on Garrett’s lap when he saw there were no more chairs, but Garrett quickly pushed him off.

I couldn’t help but smile at my friend’s antics, despite my current state and company.

“Um, Maddie?” The nurse looked at me with a very concerned face. She was wringing her hands together very harshly, as well, “do you know if Jake has any family in the area?”

“Yes. But they are out of state for the day. I’m his girlfriend though, could you tell me what’s going on?” I wanted her to tell me what was going on with him so badly. Where he was. What the hell was going on.

Kennedy slid his chair a little closer to me and grasped my hand. At this point my body was shaking, so terrified of what the nurse was going to say, that I didn’t have enough energy to pull my hand away as I would have liked to.

“Jake, unfortunately, didn’t make it. You have my deepest sympathies, Maddie, I’m sorry.” She gave her head a quick nod before hurrying out the door.

At first it didn’t register. My body sort of just went numb; like it was deflecting what had just been told to me so that somehow it would somehow become untrue. But then my dam of numbness broke and my eyes overflowed with salty tears.

Kennedy continued to hold my hand, giving it an occasional squeeze.

“J-J-John?” I worked out, “where is Daisy?”
Daisy Middleton is my best friend. We had been since forever. She was also attached at the hip, so to speak, with John. I was surprised that she wasn’t here with him, if not for me.

“I tried to call her, but I think she has her phone off. Probably at dance class. Do you want me to try again?” John already had his phone out, dialing Daisy’s number before I could nod my head.

Then I got mad; really mad. This was all Kennedy’s fault. If he hadn’t made that mistake I wouldn’t have been so hesitant with Jake. And then we would have gone farther; done things I was scared to do because of Kennedy. He wouldn’t have been driving me home and Jake would still be alive and Kennedy wouldn’t be holding my hand.

“Get the fuck out of my room, Kennedy, and the fuck out of my life!” I erupted, yanking my hand out of Kennedy’s and pulling the sheets high over my head. “OUT!”

But Kennedy, like always, didn’t get mad. He slowly stood up and looked at me like he knew he deserved to be treated the way I he was. Pulling the sheets off of my head, I shot at him: “Now, bastard.” I glared at him until he finally bent down and kissed my forehead and left the room.

I was so overwhelmed to begin with that I didn’t know how to interpret Kennedy’s gesture. So I didn’t. I crumpled in the bed in a sob of tears with Jared, Pat, Garrett and soon John and Daisy piled on with me.

We were all there; all except Kennedy.