Jellybeans

The phone crashed against the opposing wall, shattering into several pieces which laid haphazardly on the floor of the teenager’s room. She sat on her bed, holding a pillow to her chest as the silvery tears fell from her eyes.
“Why am I crying?” She croaked aloud to the empty apartment.
It was still, silent – dead.
No one was there; there was no warmth, no smell, no anything.
“I deserve it. I’ve been a fucking jerk to her since the second grade. She’s always there. Always. Why am I…”
“Such a bitch…” Her mind finished for her as her voice broke. She buried her face in the pink pillow case. The comforting smell of lily scented detergent and her kiwi shampoo infected her sense. She pushed her face further into the pillow, wheezing for breath in the cotton.
She started as the home telephone rang loudly from the still kitchen.
She glanced at the clock, then scowled at the phone as she stood up.
“What?” She snapped; her voice sticky.
“V-Vi. Please, let me. Please.” The timid whisper on the other side of the line shook with self loathing.
“Bitch,” Her mind screamed again. Her heart tore, hearing the stifled sob of her blonde friend on the other line.
She placed the phone back on the receiver, cutting the call short. She pushed her head into her hands, running them through her hair in an attempt to calm herself.
“End this. I have to end this. She’s just going to leave, she wants to leave. She deserves to leave.” She mumbled to herself. “She needs to leave… Before I do something incredibly stupid.”
Quickly, Violet sprang out the door of her apartment, running down the stairs to the front door. The landlord glanced out of his room at her as she swung the door open and humid air danced into the entrance.
She closed the door behind her, standing against it as if she was guarding something inside.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

“Yes?”
“I-I… I’m sorry, I… I d-didn’t mean t-to…”
Silence, it scared the younger of the two.
“Violet…” She began again.
She said nothing, but moved out of the way of the door, silently inviting the girl into the apartment complex. The owner glanced up again at the two tear-streaked teenage girls. He looked back down, obviously not curious to ask what was wrong with either of them.
The walk up the stairs was awkward, nothing but the sound of their continuous footsteps echoing through the stairway’s corridor accompanied by the muffled noises of passing rooms through thin walls.

“P-please say something.” The timid voice said from behind the brunette.
Her hand clenched suddenly, anger coursing through her once more. “Bitch, you invited her in with no intent on helping her, asking her forgiveness. You’re the worst.”
“Something,” She muttered monotonously.
Kayleigh let out a long breath, holding her small hand to her chest – as if she didn’t her heart would fall straight out of herself.
“L-listen, Violet… I d-didn’t know you… that you heard what I said. I-I thought… you were asleep. I didn’t w-want you t-to know.” She said her breaths shaky with the afterthoughts of tears.
The brunette’s shoulders tensed, biting the inside of her mouth to keep from screaming aloud at herself. “Fucking hell, why are you just standing there, letting her go on like that?”
“Because she doesn’t want me.”
“Pssh, if she didn’t want you, why would she be here? No, she wants you. But goddamn you do not deserve her.”
A pang shot through her body, startling her into a twitch. “Don’t deserve her… I don’t…”
“I don’t.” She said aloud, the blonde’s head shot up to study her.
Violet spun around, the tears collecting at the bottom of her charcoal rimmed eyes. “I don’t. I don’t deserve you.”
Kayleigh took a step back, her breaths wheezing in her throat. “Don’t deserve me… She deserves better…”
“I want to stay with you, but… obviously… I can’t…” Her words began to slur together as she clenched and unclenched her fists continuously.
“I-I’m sorry…” Kayleigh tried, trying to move closer, “I c-can be better! I p-promise!”
“Better?” “Hah, you’ve gone and made her cry… Again.” “Better?!” Her rage spilled over, rage at herself, at the mocking voice, at the years of unfair treatment.
The blonde shrank back once more, holding her arms in front of her in defense. “S-sorry!”
“No, don’t be sorry! Stop being sorry! Stop being everything! Stop being smart, stop being nice, stop being amazing, stop being beautiful! Just fucking cut it out! Why do you have to be so much better than me all the time?” She shouted, waving her arms to emphasize her point. “Tsk, tsk. Anger only leads to tears.”
“She hates me, she hates me. I did something wrong. I abandoned her, god why am I such an idiot?” She opened her mouth to speak to her friend, trying to calm the hysteric brunette down.
“Shut up!” She shouted at the top of her lungs.
The blonde took a step away. “Calm down, calm down, calm down.” Her mind kept saying, praying that the telepathic message would reach her friend.
“Really, calm down Violet. Taking out your anger on your best friend, isn’t that what you always do?” She screamed in annoyance, the tears clogging the high pitched shrill.
“Do something you fucking idiot!” “I love you!” Kayleigh shouted, her fists clenching the bottom of her t-shirt, her eyes squeezing shut, bending her head away to avoid any blows to the face.
There was a pause, a very long pause of silence from both the girls. The house seemed to empty as the previous episode of shouting calmed to nothingness.
“Get out. Just get the fuck out.” Violet hissed, her voice stinging in remorse.
“V-Violet, I-”
The taller cut her off with a swift moment of her hand, gesturing her towards the door.
Kayleigh’s face scrunched, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. She let out a hiccup, a sob breaking the steally silence.
Reaching the door at the slowest pace she had ever gone, the blonde turned slightly, her silvery tears hitting the floor. “I-I… I’m s-sorry.” She hiccupped again, “I… I love you…”
The door slammed, and Violet crumpled into a heap on the floor.