I Nick Jonas Hate the Bass Player

As we ran down the hall into the emergency room doors, a familiar feeling filled me. I remembered the last time that we were in the hospital. Ryan was in a car accident right by my house and Nick and I weren't together. That also was the night Nick got arrested for fighting David. It was a whirlwind of emotions that were in me now and I knew that something wasn't right after remembering that.

"Hi, I'm looking for room 1583" Nick said to the nurse at the station
"Go down this hall, make a right to the red set of elevators, go to the 15th floor and the nurses up there will tell you where to go." The nurse said
"Thank You!" I said the grabbing Nick's hand and running up the hall with him.

As we stood in the elevator Nick noticed in the reflection my discomfort.

"Laura, are you ok babe?" he asked
"Um, yeah." I said as he brought me to him

I rested my forehead on his and he kissed my nose while holding me tight against him. I wasn't ok, if it wasn't obvious. This is the second time that I'm going and seeing my best friend in the hospital and not for the best reasons either. As Nick held me I thought of all the memories we had together. I remembered the times when we were 9 and just learning how to play our instruments, watching Rugrats and eating corn dogs. Those were our rituals every Saturday from 2-4 PM. I even remember when she got her period the first time. Strange huh? Well it's actually extremely humorous, she was wearing a white t-shirt and it bled through and instead of people making fun of her all day…I too colored my shirt red on my butt to match. We were known the rest of the year as nasty girls because we "got our periods".

"Laura, tell me what's on your mind" Nick said as we were still combined
"Nick, I'm so scared to lose my best friend" I said
"Baby, don't think like that" he said kissing me lightly
"I know, but, if I lose her…I don't know what I'm going to do" I said
"Well I'm not going to let you fall if that happens" he said
"Uh,huh" I said
"No, you're not. I'm not going to let you!" Nick said staring at me straight in the eyes
"Thank You" I said
"It's my job, because I love you so much" he said
"Nick I love you too"

Suddenly the door dinged and the elevator stopped allowing the door to fly open. We stepped out hand in hand to start roaming the halls. We scanned up the left hall until we got to the end and saw the room.

Room 1538

"You ready?" Nick asked squeezing my hand
"Yes" I said trying not to cry
He kissed my head and pushed on the handle to open the door and opened it slowly. Everyone was there and of course we were somehow the last people to arrive. I saw the girls in the band were there along with Ryan's mom and dad. Wait, her parents live in Colorado, why are they out here? I looked over and saw Ryan. She was severely beat up with both black eyes, cuts all over her face and she was wrapped in large gauze around her abdomen. I instantly turned to Nick's chest and cried heavily knowing I could have stopped her from this happening.

Suddenly a doctor came in, with a clipboard and a sad look on his face.

"Is everyone here now?" the doctor asked
"Yes" Ryan's mother responded
"Ok, well to catch everyone up to speed. Elizabeth, excuse me, Ryan as she goes by, was stabbed 46 times in the abdomen and was raped. We learned from her arrival that she was pregnant and the fetus is no where to be seen. She has lost extreme amounts of blood and her pancreas and liver have begun to shut down. Um, from my notes…" he started while flipping the clipboard papers up and down.

"…I see that she has signed the 'Emergency Medical Systems Pre-hospital Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Form' saying if she went into cardiac arrest that we cannot attempt to revive her. She also checked the box at the bottom saying she shall be taken off life support with full family consent if she is on. As of right now, she is on complete life support. She will not survive without the machine. Um, I know this is hard for all of you but there are 3 of you that she said needs consent and that is Mr. Charles Marino, Mrs. Janet Marino and Laura Wagner. I'll leave you 3 to discuss and I'll be at the nurses station when you all have made a decision." He said then leaving.

I was crying my eyes out, literally weeping in Nick's arms. I couldn't believe she left this up to me to decide her fate. Why would she do this to me? WHY? The memories of Ryan and I as kids were running back to me. Times in the sandbox and times where we beat boys up on the play ground. They were all fading away, slowly. I kept on crying when her mom approached me. I looked at her and she took me from Nick's arms and hugged me. She was my real mom, I swear. She would sacrifice anything for Ryan and I because we practically were sisters, just from other mothers.

"Laura, we need to make a decision…as a family" she said hugging me and Mr. Marino next to her.
"Mrs. Marino, I can't do this. I don't want to lose her but I know if we let her go, then she'll be in peace and without pain." I said
"I know, but, the saddest part is I didn't know she was pregnant. Did you?" she asked
"No, never, I would have told you if I knew." I said wiping my tears
"Then why didn't she tell either of us?" she asked

I was staring at Ryan the whole time this conversation went on. She wasn't breathing right, her face looked distressed and I knew that she was in pain. Her heart rate was low and her blood pressure was scarily low… she was dying. Mrs. Marino was talking to me when I just walked over to her bed side and I could feel everyone watching me. I leaned over her and a tear fell on her cheek on accident and I wiped it away. Her skin was tight and very cold making me feel so much more hurt. I grabbed her wrist and saw our matching bracelets with our names on it. The ones we got when we went to dinner Cocoa Beach to celebrate our friend-iversary. I held her hand and kissed her forehead closing my eyes and letting tears run down my face slowly and meeting her face. I looked down to see her wearing the necklace I gave her with her "Best Friend" charm on it. That made me weep more.

"Ryan, I know you can't hear me but know you'll always be my best friend…" I started but couldn't help but start crying harder again
"…and I'll never forget you. No one is going to replace you and I'm sorry we fought before you left. You were right…you were so right all along." I said then leaning down and kissing her head again.
"I love you so much girlie and I'm going to miss you. But I know you'll be watching me from heaven. I want you to see me on my wedding day and the day I have kids, just take care of yourself. I love you so much!!" I said balling my face out.

Nick was behind me crying also and rubbing my back but trying to pull my hand away from her but I couldn't let him. I was whimpering for him to let me be with her but I saw the doctor standing there with a nurse and a pastor.

"Laura, baby, you've got to let go, ok?" he said trying to pull me away
"No" I said crying harder
"Can I hold her hand as she goes?" I asked the doctor with blood shot yes and a horse voice
"Yes" he said

The nurse began to unhook her machines from her but left the heart monitor on. The pastor stepped next to her bed and handed us all rosary beads and we all prayed as the doctor was about to unhook the machine. Nick and I were both holding onto her hand as the prayer began. We looked at each other and a tear fell down my face. I knew I was loosing her and that's something that I promised her I'd never do. As we looked back at Ryan the doctor was getting ready to turn the machine off.

I could hear my heart rate race in my neck and was making its way into my ear. The doctor looked at me and mouthed 'I'm Sorry' and turned the switch off. I stared at her and kept my hand under her wrist so I could feel her pulse. Within seconds I felt it slow down dramatically to the point I could see on the monitor she was within seconds of the end. I was weeping again and the second I heard her flat line and her pulse stop in her wrist I kissed her head and let go. I instantly turned to Nick and he held me into his arms and let me cry more and more.

"Time of death: 8:42 PM" he told the nurse as she wrote it down
"I'm sorry for your loss" the nurse said
"Thank You" Mrs. Marino said
"I'm going to take her home" Nick said to the rest of the room

I haven't said anything and I didn't want to. I pulled from his arms, walked to Ryan and kissed her head saying.

"This isn't goodbye, this is I'll see you later. See you in heaven beautiful" I said then walking back to Nick. He grabbed me and pulled me into him and we walked out of the room.

Nick and I walked as I still wept in his arms. As we arrived at the car Nick opened my door and let me in. I watched through blurry eyes to see him get in the car and look at me.

"Laura, I know you are grieving right now but, I love you. Don't forget that and know that I'll never let you forget her" he said
"I love you too Nick " I said kissing him

He backed out of the spot and held my hand all the way home. When we got back to the house, Nick and I walked into the house and he shut the door and I literally stood there facing the inside of the apartment in shock still of what has happened.

"Come one, come take a shower and we can go to bed. You'll feel better baby, ok?" he asked

I just nodded my head and he pulled me to the bathroom. He started the shower and I stood there again and he looked at me and kissed me.

"I'll be back once you're done" he said about to leave
"Nick don't" I said grabbing his arm as he was about to leave

He backed up to hold me and look at my make-up ran face.

"Babe, you have to shower eventually." He said
"Then shower with me. I don't want to be alone" I said
"Are you sure?" he asked
"Nick, I need you by my side right now" I said
"Ok, I'll be right back then" he said

He walked out of the bathroom and went to our bedroom. I looked at my face and saw how much make up was running down my face. I looked trashed and I honestly needed a shower.

"Here we are" Nick said placing clothes for both of us on the counter with 2 towels
"Thank you for everything" I said looking at him
"Hey, it's ok babe…" he started and rubbed his thumb on my cheek
"I do it because I love you" he said smiling and kissing me

By now I'd stopped crying somewhat and I was dealing with my red eyes. Nick kissed me and pulled my sweatshirt above my head then instantly kissing me again. I started lifting up his sweatshirt and t-shirt all in one swift movement above his head and kissing him again. He pulled away and smiled lifting my shirt above my head and smiled.

He pulled me into him and whispered in my ear.

"I'm nervous" he said while blushing
"Me too" I said and suddenly I felt my bra snap and Nick brought me into him and kissed me. He started undoing my pants and slowly let my pants and panties drop to the floor. I stepped out of them and pushed him against the wall while continuing to kiss him. I undid his pants grabbing his briefs and jeans and pulled them down. He stepped out of them and never left my lips. We lightly pecked and he pulled me to him and we both stepped into the shower.

As we both stood there we just stared at each other and let the water run down us. We both were kinda conscious of each others body and to be honest, I kinda wanted to see all of Nick. I've never had the opportunity but nor is now the right time, but I cannot be alone.

"Look, I honestly want to see all of you and I don't like this tension right now." He said
"I agree, but I feel wrong after what just happened" I said
"I know but, if you don't want to we don't have to" he said

I stood and stared at him and instantly thought about it. I figured I'd show him my decision. Nick was staring at me and I grabbed his hands and I took 3 steps back to be completely under the water and so he could see me completely. I closed my eyes and then opened then to see Nick's eyes on me and smiling. I looked at him and smiled back as I scanned up and down his body to mainly land on his abs. His body is beautiful for sure and I'm kinda nervous what he's thinking of me. He smiled and pulled me into him and kissed me.

"Laura, you're even more beautiful than I thought" he said smiling
"You know, Ryan wouldn't want us upset like we were, I'm glad we did this and I'm sure she is too" I said
"I agree." He said kissing my head

After getting out, the reality hit me about Ryan. I realized it when I was going to call her and tell her what happened between Nick and me. I had the phone in hand and when I realized what had happened I dropped it and started crying. I sat on the bed and Nick came in and saw the phone.

"Oh, Laura" he said holding me and trying to calm me down.
"Nick, I can't believe I let her go!" I said crying again
"Hey, hey, hey, baby you didn't let her go. Laura, she was harmed by someone else. This is not your fault! Don't ever think that!" he said
"Sure" I said getting up and taking my hair out of the towel.
"Laura come back" Nick said following me

I put moose in my hair and Nick watched me in the bathroom. As I turned my head up from being upside down Nick looked at me. He just stared at me and looking at him, he could read me. He knew I was hurting…badly inside.

"Let's go to bed" I said to Nick as I sniffled

He walked onto his side, then taking the fried rice and threw it into the kitchen trash. He came back to me weeping into my pillow. He climbed in, brought me closer and let me cry on his chest.

"It'll be ok baby, it's going to be ok" was all he said leaving me to cry myself to sleep.