I Nick Jonas Hate the Bass Player

My eyes grew wide as Joe’s words repeated in my head. This couldn’t be happening. It was just a bad dream that – when I pinched myself – I would wake up from, and everything would be back to normal. Jeremiah and Daphne would be sound asleep in my stomach and I’d be snuggled into Nick’s chest. We’d be a normal,happy family. How did we let it get this far? How did I push Nick so far off the edge that he was on live TV, ready to commit suicide?

“Laura... you need to get down there now. More than one person has tried to stop him but, you’re the only one that can stop him! I’m picking you up in five minutes.” Joe’s voice sounded, staggered and worried as it came through the speaker.
“Y-yeah, ok...” I replied, physically finding myself unable to speak and trying to wrap what’s happening around in my head.
I ended the call and hastily went through my wardrobe, picking out the first pair of jeans I could find. I threw them with my white Chucks, and pulled an old college hoodie on over my pajama top.

As I was getting dressed I saw myself in the mirror and I saw my bump that has slowly gone down as the hours passed. I still had a small bump and I felt tears fall down my face as I rubbed it. Nick and I might be completely done after this and I was mentally going insane. I ran into Nick’s “room” and saw he had his cologne out and he had his dog tags on his dresser. I instantly put the dog tags around my neck, tucking them into the hoodie. I sprayed his cologne on me and smelt it in. I felt closer to Nick by the second. I saw a picture on his dresser expecting it to be of him and his brothers but it was of him and me. We were in London on tour and we were so…young. I began to cry as I brought the picture to my heart and began to cry.

Why was he doing this? What made him go over the edge like this?

I placed the 3X5 picture in my bra as I ran back to my room. I was crying inside and wanting to save him so bad that I couldn’t stand this anymore. I was on the verge of running to him.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS JOE!?!” I yelled out loud

A loud bang at the door told me that Joe came into the apartment flying through the door. I raced to the door of my room, panting for breath.

“You ready?” He asked as I opened the door to see him standing in front of me.
“Of course I fucking am! Nick’s life is at stake here and you’re asking if I’m fucking ready!?”

Joe merely nodded and rolled his eyes and we rushed to the car.

What if he didn’t make it? What if he committed suicide before I even got the chance to talk him out of it... what if... what if I got there and tried to talk him out of it, but he went ahead and jumped anyway? I couldn’t get the thoughts of Nick jumping out of my head and it was truly starting to affect me.

“Oh my god Joe, please drive faster!” I cried, almost certain we wouldn’t get there on time.
“I’m driving as fast as I can, Laura!” He shouted back, frustrated as much as I was, yet his foot pushed further down on the accelerator.

I couldn’t lose Nick, I just couldn’t. He was my world, my life. Without him, I just couldn’t exist anymore. If he died, I would die too. I started to panic mentally and physically. My chest began to tighten and my breath became something I didn’t need. I couldn’t swallow, I had a headache and I was nauseous.

Joe pulled up as close to the bridge as he could get and I jumped out of the car. I heard his voice so I stared at him through the window.

“Laura, you need to get to somehow get to the top of the bridge support. Push through the crowd, just find the service steps and get up there!” Joe yelled to me as I broke into a run.

I waved at him, signaling that I could hear him while he waved for me to keep running. I fought my way through the growing crowd, the TV crews and the ambulance, fire-station and police crew. I looked up at the bridge and saw a slim figure standing at the top – that was my Nick!
The steps leading to the top were right next to me, but there were so many of them. How was I going to get up them? I just decided to run for it and I ran towards them. I needed to get to Nick. I…I needed to!

“I’m sorry, miss, you can’t go up there.” A police officer stopped me holding his hand up.
“You see the man you’re trying to save...?” I started, shifting my gaze to Nick
“That man is my husband. If I don’t go up there and talk to him, he will jump, and all of this...” I gestured to the crowd around us
“What will you have achieved? What, just another death that you couldn’t have prevented right? You don’t realize how important this man is. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs, we’ve lost our children and our marriage is almost extinct, but without this man, the world will be nothing... Officer, I need to get up there and talk to him. PLEASE!” I began to beg

I saw the seriousness on his face turn into a frown and his large mustache fell with it. I saw his eyes were in sympathy and I felt that he was going to let me up.

“Ma’am, we’re trying our best to stop him jumping over, now if you could just wait he-”

I ran past the police officer and up the stairs, ignoring his warning calls. I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted Nick. I climbed to the top of the stairs but as I took more steps to the top my fear began to take over. Heights were not my cup of tea and the probably won’t be after this.
As I reached the top, I stared as I saw the love of my life, my eternal soul mate, clinging to the barriers, breathing heavily and fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Nick...” I whispered.

He turned to face me, his eyes wide and his mouth gaping open, in shock that I was up there with him.

“L-Laura...” He choked.

Fresh tears ran down my cheeks as I stared at Nick. He was almost un-recognizable.
His usually curly hair was flat and matted, as though he’d been running his hand through it far too many times. His eyes looked dark and fathomless and his cheeks were red from crying. All I wanted to do was to work this out and stop him from this hell that he’s created for himself.

“Nick, you have to come down. This isn’t the way out. I love you; Ineed you. Please, Nick, don’t do this.” I cried, stepping closer to him slowly.
“STAY THERE!” He called, holding his hand out to stop me.

There was a pause as Nick slumped down on the cement ground, against the railing.

“I’m sorry, Laura. For…for everything! You’re right. It was my fault our children our dead. It’s my fault that our marriage is falling apart and my fault that everyone in the world is against me. There’s no reason for me to be alive any more. No one loves me, and I’m pretty damn sure I’ll be going to hell any way.”
“Nick...”
“I’ve made your life miserable, Laura. And now, it’s made my life miserable. I can’t bear to see you hurt, but I continue to hurt you, again and again, like you said. I don’t deserve a life any more. I messed up.”

At this point my heart was aching and I was about to cry even more. I was so close to Nick, I was planning on my way of saving him if he jumped.

“Please, Nick, we can fix it. You can’t leave me here alone. You’re everything I ever wanted!”

I cried back, my tears beginning to soak the strands of hair around my face.

“Please. Let me help you. I love you!”
“And I love you, Laura.” He replied, his eyes boring into mine.

I smiled, hoping that this was the end of it – that he’d take my hand and we’d walk down the steps together, ready to start over again.

“This is why I have to do this.” He said.
“W-what do you mean?”

He pulled himself up and looked down at the crowd, which had doubled in size since I’d arrived.

“It’s a long way down.” Nick mumbled.
“Though, the death would be quick and painless. Ideal, really.”
“Please, Nick.” I whispered.

I didn’t have the energy any more.

“I love you too much, which is why I have to do this. You need to forget about me, move on and find someone who can’t mess up.”
“You know full well that I can never do that, Nicholas.” I replied weakly.
“Yes, you can!”

Suddenly, I saw Nick pull from the railing and he ran to jump.

“NOOOOO!!!!” I yelled

Just as he was about to fall to his death I caught his leg and I watched him dangle and smack into the support rail that held this bridge up. He was swinging and swaying as I gathered enough strength in my body to pull him up most of the way. At this point I was angry and frustrated with him and I just saved his life.

“GET UP!” I yelled

He got up with a busted nose and scraped hands and stood there with a straight face.

“You betrayed me! You should have let me go!” he said very dark and monotone
“NO I DIDN’T!!”
“WHY?!” he yelled
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU NICK! I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU AND IF I LOST YOU I’D KILL MYSELF AS WELL!”
“Don’t do that, you have so much going for you. You’re about to graduate and become a teacher and what am I? Some dumb musician whose band is lucky enough to be around as long as we have? Yeah! I CANT OFFER YOU ANYTHING LAURA!!! GO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN GIVE YOU MORE!!”

Rain began to pour and I was staring at Nick. I had a hold of his hands the whole time so he couldn’t jump and the rain was now soaking him and I. Staring into his eyes I realized loved him and if he wanted to go then it was his choice.

“You know Nick. I love you so much, I’m willing to let you go! As much as I’ll not be able to breathe nor eat or sleep once you’re gone I…if this is what you want, then fine go!!” I yelled crying my eyes out to him
“No I couldn’t. The fact that leaving you would hurt you more than I have before. I can’t leave you”
“NICK YOU’RE CONFUSING ME!! IF LEAVING IS WHAT YOU WANT, THEN LEAVE!?!”
“Maybe I will…”

I screamed in frustration and walked up to Nick, grabbing his collar and pulling his lips to mine. After a couple of seconds he started to kiss back and snaked his arms around my waist.

“I don’t want anyone but you.” I mumbled, relaxing slightly as we moved away from the barrier.