This Deep Secret

William never called. I didn’t talk to him until fourth period English. I was a little hurt when he didn’t say “hi” to me like he normally did. He just sat down at his desk and pulled out his notebook. My brow furrowed as I watched him, hunched over his notebook, scribbling words on the lines until the bell rang. What was his deal?

He ignored me during lunch, opting to go off campus until the last minute. What did I do to get him so pissed off at me? It was time to take action.

“Hey,” I slammed my bag onto my desk, startling him.

He just stared.

“What the hell?” Was all I said.

“What?” He asked.

My annoyance with him just got worse, “You know what, William.” I sat down, “You didn’t call me on Friday to tell me how that guy liked your performance then you just ignored me during fourth and lunch.” I huffed. “How do you think that’s supposed to make me feel?”

He just stared at me hard in the eyes, “How is it supposed to make me feel when you just leave in the middle of the most important set of my band’s history? I needed you there, Harper.”

My mouth dropped in astonishment, “I had to go home and watch Aiden. Didn’t Pete tell you?”

He nodded, “Yeah, he told me. I think it was pretty shitty of you. Your mom should be the one watching her son.

I sighed, “You’re being very selfish right now. My mom and I have an understanding when it comes to Aiden, you know that.”

“Well you should be out living life. I really needed you after the show. I was freaking out.” He looked so sad, but I wouldn’t give in; he was being the biggest jerk.

“Well sorry, but my brother and mother needed me.”

The teacher walked in, eating a burrito from the Taco Bell down the street.

“How did the guy like you guys anyways?” I asked, not even bothered by the teacher in the room.

He glared at me, making me cower into myself. He’d never been that mad at me.

“You could’ve known the same time I did, but you didn’t stay to see the results.” He turned forward as the teacher quieted the class down.

I was stunned then immediately angered. How dare him. He had no right to be acting like that. It was no lie that I was severely pissed off at him.

When I got home my anger was still evident in my aurora. I slammed the door then threw my bag down on the ground by the door and walked into the kitchen, fuming. My mom was sprinkling shredded cheese on top of what looked like enchiladas. Aiden was no where to be seen.

“What’s wrong, Sweetie?” She asked, taking another handful of cheddar.

“William is being the world’s biggest jerk-“

“Why?”

I huffed, “Because I left the show early on Friday because I had to watch Aiden.”

She looked at me strangely, “You’re been to every one of his shows. Remember Maine and The Academy. So what if you missed half of one?” She asked, annoyed with the boy that she called her adopted son.

“Well it was an important show. There was a guy from a record label there. The same label that Fall Out Boy’s signed to.”

He eyes widened, “Really? That’s great! What’s the verdict? Did they get a deal?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know; he won’t tell me. He thinks I don’t care about the band.”

He mouth fell in shock, “You’re their number one fan.”

I sighed as I said “I know.”

“Just give him a few days and see where his head is.” She suggested then put the pan of enchiladas in the oven.

The next day, during Government, as the teacher rambled on about something unrelated to the subject we were learning, a note fell on my desk. I looked at it warily before opening it.

‘I’m sorry =[‘ was scrawled out in black bulky letters. I was William’s handwriting no doubt.

I looked at him, he was staring at me. I looked back down at my notes and began writing down more.

A couple seconds later another note graced my sight. Sighing, I opened it.

‘I over reacted.’ No shit. ‘Please forgive me. I miss you’

My heart fluttered at the three words at the end. Why was I reacting this way? There was no hidden meaning behind them. He missed me as a friend.

“Are you okay?” He whispered, snapping me out of my panic.

I looked at him then back down at the note and nodded, “I’m fine.” I wasn’t whispering, but I wasn’t exactly speaking loud.

“Do you forgive me?” He asked, hope in his voice.

I looked at him and nodded again.

He smiled widely, “Great. I missed my best friend.”

Best friend. There will never be a you and me.

“I missed you too.” I choked out.

He smiled at me, but I couldn’t smile back. I was suddenly feeling sick.

“Do you want to hang out after school?” He asked.

I looked at him once again, “I can’t. I have work.”

He pouted, “Oh. Well maybe tomorrow?”

I nodded, “I’ll try.”

He smiled again, “Okay.” He turned back to the teacher who finally started to write down notes on the board.

A sudden wave of nausea overcame me. I immediately put my head down on my cold desk and groaned. William was staring at me in concern. I knew this because my head was facing him.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

I shook my head and breathed in and out of my nose slowly, trying to calm my stomach.

“What’s wrong?” He asked leaning down so he could look me in the eye.

“I think I’m going to throw up.” I groaned again.

His eyes widened, “Uhm, are you sure?”

My mouth started to salivate and I nodded. I knew I had to find a bathroom, fast. I got up on my now shaky legs and ran out of the classroom. My teacher was calling after me, wondering what was wrong. I made it to the bathroom just in time and spilled the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. Oh how wonderful.