This Deep Secret

I was waiting at Midway airport for the guys’ plane to land. I had volunteered myself to pick them up and drop them off at their respective places (that were on my way home and not going the opposite direction like half of the band). It was just going to be Adam, William, and me in my hunk of metal.

I didn’t know how to greet William. Did I hug him? Kiss him? Run and jump in his arms, hoping he would catch me? I chose option A and engulfed him into a tight hug, breathing in his scent. It was nine thirty in the morning and surprisingly enough, he didn’t look tired.

He smiled at me and told me he missed me. I hugged the rest of the band (not as tightly as William, but still tight enough to let them know I cared) then we got their luggage and made the trek to my car in the parking lot.

As soon as we were outside, William laced his fingers with mine, showing affection in the littlest of ways. Adam was behind up, tugging along his over-packed suitcase, looking down at the pavement. He was quiet. Even when we got on the interstate he was quiet.

I looked at him in the rearview mirror, “Why so quiet Little Siska?” I asked concerned.

William glanced at me then went back to singing along quietly to the radio.

“I feel like a third wheel!” He cried.

My eyes widened, “What do you mean?” I asked, looking over at William, who was trying to hold in a laugh.

“I mean, you guys are so not discreet about hiding your relationship. I feel that when we hang out now, I’ll be the third wheel, ruining your guys’ fun.”

I bused out laughing, I just couldn’t help it.

“It’s not funny guys, I’m serious!” He groaned. “I’m just feeling a little salty right now.”

I laughed again, “Don’t worry Adam, we’ll find you a girl.” I saw him roll his eyes in the rearview mirror. “I’m serious Little Siska. I promise.”

“Whatever.”

William looked over at me with a look that I took as “really?” I just nodded. He shrugged.

I dropped Adam off at his house in the middle of nowhere then drove William to his mother’s house near civilization. As I idled outside of his house quietly I looked over at him, “I’m glad you’re home.” I said softly.

“I’m glad I’m home, too” He opened the door and got out.

I rolled the window down and he poked his head in, “Can you pop the trunk?”

“Oh right.” I chuckled.

Seeing as my car was so old, the trunk wasn’t automatic. I had to physically open it with the key. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out. He was waiting at the trunk when I got there. I opened it and he pulled out his suitcase. After shutting it, he turned to me and pulled me into a hug.

“I really missed you.” He said softly.

“I really missed you, too.”

He let go of me then leaned down and kissed my lips softly. I’d probably never get tired of that.

“I’ll call you in an hour or so and we’ll do something.

I smiled at him, “Okay, I’ll be waiting.”

He slowly walked to the door as I slowly got into my car. I waited for him to make his way inside before taking off. As he opened the door, he turned and gave me a little wave. I waved back then slowly pulled away from the curb.

I felt less lonely when I knew he was home. No doubt about it that I was lonely when he was gone. Just knowing he was back in town and that I could just go see him anytime I want (or anytime he could have visitors in his house) made me less lonely.

My house was dark when I walked inside. There was a soft humming noise coming from the TV. Aiden was sitting at the coffee table, coloring in a Spongebob Squarepants jumbo coloring book. There was a heap of blankets on the couch, or at least it looked that way. As I got closer, I noticed it was moving up and down in a slow rhythmic way. It looked like someone was underneath the pile of blankets. When I Stood next to the couch, I lifted the blanket and saw my mom with her mouth hanging open so she could breathe.

She groaned a little then opened her eyes, “Hey Sweetie.” She said weakly.

“Hi mom.” I pulled the blankets off of her. “Why don’t you go to your room and go to sleep? You’ll be more comfortable there.”

“I can’t. I have to watch Aiden.”

I tugged on her hand, “No, come on. I’ll watch him.”

She sat up drowsily, “What about William? You told me you were going to spend time with him today. He’s been gone and I know you missed him.”

I helped her off the couch and walked her to her room. “He’ll understand.” I let her find her own way to her bed as I shut the door.

“Hey so I was thinking that we should go see a movie or something.” William said as I answered the phone.

I looked over at Aiden, who was playing with a couple of trucks. “Uh, I can’t.” I said nervously.

His tone of voice changed, “Why not?”

“Well, you see, I’m watching Aiden right now.”

“Where’s your mom?”

“She’s sick. I got her sick, so I’m watching Aiden.”

He sighed, “All right.”

“Why don’t you hang out with your sister?” I suggested.

“Well I’d rather hang out with my girlfriend, but I guess I’ll have to do with my sister.”

I chuckled, “I’m sorry. We’ll do something tomorrow, I promise.”

“We better be doing something; we have a show and I think you should be there.”

I smiled, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

-------

“What do you mean you can’t come?!” William shouted angrily.

I flinched at the level of his voice then responded, “My mom left for the night to stay at a hotel because she doesn’t want to get Aiden sick. I have to watch him.” I explained.

“This is bull shit. You always have to watch him, Harper. When are you supposed to have a life when you’re always watching your brother?”

I sighed in irritation, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“I can’t, William. This is something I just can’t tell you.” I was so close to telling him my secret, but I just couldn’t.

“What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? What are you hiding from me?” He demanded.

“I just... have a part of me that I can’t tell you about.”

He was silent, “Well you know what? I can’t be with someone that hides things from me.”

My mouth dropped, “So you’re breaking up with me over this? You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I? I don’t even know if you’re actually watching Aiden. Maybe you’re seeing someone else.”

I couldn’t believe him. I was furious. “You’re being an ass.” I said then hung up.

We were done. After, what, a week? It just wasn’t meant to be. We probably weren’t even friends anymore. Like I’d want to talk to him anyways. I was too mad.