In All This Chaos

At the age of four I met my best friend, Pat Kirch.

We went to pre-school together, played in public parks, did anything two normal four year olds would do. At least I was normal, Pat was wild, but that's what made us the best of friends. He was the one to shake things up while I was there to level things up. We rarely fought. Our friendship was perfect much like the relationship I had with my older brother Garrett.

At the age of thirteen I had started getting more involved with boys and having more of a social life, I was growing up.

At the age of sixteen I was introduced to the charming, flirtatious, gorgeous, tall, dirty blonde, much older than I, John O'Callaghan by Pat's older brother Tim. At this same age I developed a crush on him.

At the age of seventeen he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. Becoming John O'Callaghan's girlfriend was sort of stressful at the beginning. Getting talked about for being an underclassman, older girls feeding me lies that I wasn't old enough or pretty enough to be with him. Older overprotective brothers on my case after every date and everything in between. A best friend who was also worried, but I played it cool anyways. It was like I had more than two older brothers.

Pat had warned me, although that John was the singer of this band he and Garrett formed with their old friends Alex and Ryan, who left the band later on in the year, The Maine, that I needed to be ready for what John would throw at me in our relationship sooner or later.

Kennedy Brock, whom I had met through his old band mates of Last Call For Camden, now The Summer Set, warned me. Jared Monaco, John's right hand man, warned me also.

Was I hard headed? Yes I was, but I absolutely was in love with John. It didn't matter to me what those older kids thought or said. My brothers and friends overprotective words didn't matter to me either.

I was with him and that was that. We had managed to keep our relationship for almost two years. That's just it, almost.

At the age of nineteen, instead of listening to the warnings about John O'Callaghan two years ago, I had to see for myself that he wasn't all that great and I wasn't prepared as I should have been.

I probably should've given him time to explain or a second chance, but I already told you earlier I was hard headed, I didn't want to hear it, and I didn't believe in second chances for the most part. Once a person did what he did he will always be that kind of person.

I am trying to move on and get past this. It was last summer after all, but "each day is a number, but we can't forget last summer," because even at this age, after all that I'm still in love with him.