My Bestfriend And Me

Hailey’s POV

I sat up and yawned, I definitely felt like crap, in more way than others too. I looked over at Matthew and smiled. How many guys were out there that would let you cry on their shoulder and give you advice about everything and anything? If you were looking for that guy, I wouldn’t have too, I already had my Matthew.

“Matty.” I said shaking him. “Matthew” I said slapping him on his arm, I had to get him up some way.

“What,” He asked groggily, opening his eyes and then rolling over.

“Never mind,” I said crawling over him. He probably stayed up later then I did, plus he was there with that shoulder to cry on and good advice, I guess I’d be exhausted too. As I passed the clock and walked towards the bathroom I was amazed that it was only 7:30.
**
“You’re such a sleepy boy,” I told Matthew, sipping my coffee as he slowly walked down the stairs 30 minutes after I had tried to wake him.

“I’m not,” He said pulling his fingers through his overly messy hair.

“You’re hair looks like a mess.” I stated simply, after he had sat down beside me with his own cup of coffee. I put my cup of coffee down, took a pony tail holder off my wrist and tied it around a piece of his hair. “That looks much better.” I said taking another sip of coffee.

“I bet.” He said, getting up and scrounging through my cupboards and drawers. “Don’t your parents keep any food around here?” He asked, “You don’t even have a box of cheerios”

“There’s some Lucky Charms in the drawer by the sink, left side.” I said.

“Thank god.” He replied pulling them out dumping them into a bowl and going to a fridge to grab some milk.

“You took all my lucky charms.” I said in a horrible Irish accent, he chuckled slightly as he stuffed a spoonful in his mouth. The door rang and we both looked towards it. He chewed and swallowed and got up.

“I’ll get it.” He said walking towards the door.

“No you wont ” I said loudly running behind him and standing in front off him. “You practically have no clothes on, a pair of pants while answering the door, very classy.” I told him smiling, “Now go eat you’re lucky charms.”

“Don’t think so,” He said as the doorbell rang, Matthew somehow got in front of me and pulled open the door. “Uh hey,” He said uncomfortably.

“Who is it?” I said giggling trying to peek from behind his back—thing is, I probably looked worse than him. I kept on trying to look, but Matthew was a lot taller then me, there was no way I could see. “Matty move please.” I said.
“I don’t think you want me to move,” He stated sounding frustrated.

“Matt.” I said seriously, he sighed and stepped aside. My smile turned to a frown, and I stepped, “Never mind,” I said quietly. “I’d rather stand behind you.” I told him pulling him back in front of me. Besides the fact that I was acting like a 5 year old, I really didn’t want to talk to Ryan right now. I felt like screaming right now, but instead I just turned around and walked upstairs, looking back every now and then to see a angry disappointed face looking up at me.

**
I paced back and fourth throughout my room pulling on the ends of my hair. I tried to drown on the shouting with music, but that failed miserably it’s not that they were yelling so loud that I could hear it over loud music, I was just dumb enough to keep turning it down to listen to what they were saying. Now besides the fact that Ryan had etched a picture of himself in my mind that wouldn’t leave, he was making it pretty [censored] difficult to stay upstairs. I sighed and frustration and stepped out of my room and down a few stairs.

“Matthew?” I called sitting down on the carpeted steps and looking through the railings to see him looking back at me. He gave me a desperate look that screamed ‘What are you doing I can handle this’ but slowly and surely he came up the few stairs he had to, and met me there

“Yeah Hailz?” He asked.

“I’m sorry, I…I have to talk to him” I said quietly taking a quick look over at Ryan who looked more sad than anything.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked frowning; I nodded my head and grabbed his hand giving it a tight squeeze.

“It can’t get any worse…” I said standing up and making my way towards Ryan. Matthew took my spot on the stairs, I guess he was waiting for the fight or some way he could intervene but I wasn’t going to let him. “Come outside with me.” I told Ryan stepping in front of him and going outside, shutting the door behind me once he was out there with me.

“Ryan…” I said sitting down in one the chairs that was out there. He quickly took the other seat across from mine and grabbed my hands. I kept my head down, I knew that if I looked up I’d be done, he’s eyes were just so beautiful they could suck you in.

“Hailey, I’m so sorry,” He said seriously, this was one of the first times I’d ever heard him being serious. He was usually always sarcastic, or cocky or a mix between the two, but now , right now he was being serious, I wanted to believe him I did, but he needed to explain himself.

“I know that Ryan, what I want to know is why.” I said. He sighed and started playing with the ring on my thumb, twisting it around and around, I knew what he was doing, he was trying to waste time, make me just forget about the whole thing, but I needed to know, I really did.

“Ryan I swear if you don’t tell me I’m going back inside and I’ll never ever speak to you again.” I said getting frustrated.

“I’ll tell you if you look at me, I’m not going to explain myself to the top of your head Hailz.” He stated.

“I think I deserve enough respect that you can tell me whether or not my head is up or down, you’re the one who did this.” I replied. He sighed let go of one of my hands and pulled his fingers through his messy hair.

“That list it was just some….thing Brandon and I came up with, it’s been going on forever, since sophomore year of high school really, we thought we were cool, and then somehow it turned into something real” He said starting his story. I could help but look up at him as he spoke, even know I told myself I wouldn’t I couldn’t just stare at my feet the whole time, I had to make sure he was being sincere—you see Ryan’s eyes were like the key to his soul, you could tell when he was happy, mad, upset, lying or telling the truth, and as I looked I could tell everything he was saying was nothing but the truth.

“So am I just some girl?” I asked him cutting him off, He looked up at me startled, probably because I had interrupted him to speak or maybe because I’d actually lifted my head. “Some girl that you were supposed to fuck but didn’t get around to it?” I asked seriously, it was amazing how much I had sworn in the last couple of days, I rarely ever swore, but I was mad, hurt, sad, just overall disappointed in the way he had treated me. I felt like some dirty dish cloth that you use once or twice and then bang your gone, thrown away, that’s the way it felt with Ryan right now.

“No.” He said shaking his head, “No, no, no.” He added, “I would never ever use you like that you know that don’t you know?” He asked grabbing both my hands in his again.

“I don’t know Ry.” I stated, “If you didn’t use me, you sure as hell lied to me.” I said, my eyes filling with tears.

“Hailey.” He said so sadly, it made my heart feel like breaking. “I…I wouldn’t do that,” He added stammering. “I couldn’t do that too you, never.” He said his voice breaking I looked up at him to see his eyes filling with tears. It actually took my breath away, for what reason I didn’t know. Either it was the intense colour of his eyes, or it was the fact that Ryan, funny, strong sarcastic Ryan was going to cry. I wanted to laugh and tell him he was acting like a girl, I wouldn’t to pull him close and kiss him softly, I was so confused I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

“Ryan.” I said tears spilling down my cheeks, he blew out a breath trying to calm himself down, he took his hand and wiped away my tears, I started laughing. “Why?” I asked, it was the last question I wanted to know the answer too.

“I’m a guy, guys are stupid, I’ll admit it, I’m the dumbest guy on the planet to think I need to play some game and have sex with every girl of the alphabet, when I already had you, I didn’t need it.” He said. “I’m so sorry Hailey, that was the stupidest mistake of my life, I don’t need to have sex with a bunch of girls when I have you.” He told me, I smiled and looked into his emerald green eyes.

“On the bright side you won’t get aids.” I told him trying to brighten the mood, he thought about it for a second and then started laughing, I couldn’t help but laugh with him, his laugh was contagious. I was a stupid girl, but a stupid girl totally and truly in love with a guy who owned my heart, what he did with it was his choice, and right now, he had chosen to pick it up off the road and put the pieces back together.