Leaving My Fingerprints

We turned around to the doorway. I gaped at Demi standing there. “W-what?” I asked. She knew. Demi knew. There was no other option. I wondered when Maxie had told her.

“You know what’s happening?” Joe asked.

She nodded. “Maxie told me today.”

“Dem,” I started.

“He should know,” Demi said quietly. “Nick should know.”

“And Maxie should be the one to tell them,” I reminded her, my voice just as low.

“What the hell is going on?” Joe demanded, glaring at me before looking at Demi.

“You’ll regret telling him,” I said to her, ignoring him.

“She’ll regret not having told him sooner if it becomes too late,” she countered. “You know she won’t tell Kev. She loves him too much. We have to do this.”

I sighed. Her logic was working on me. Maxie loved Nick way too much to do that to him. He would be crushed, pummeled, destroyed. She would never do that to him, thinking it was her fault.

“What is it?” Joe demanded again. “Is she in a cult or something?” Panic crossed his face. “Does she have to kill us? Oh man, I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

“Funny you should mention dying,” I said quietly.

Joe looked from Demi to me, confusion flooding his voice. “What does that mean?”

Demi sighed. I saw tears starting to form in her eyes. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, staring at the floor. “She’s dying.”

Joe started laughing. “Funny,” he said. “You act really well.” He chuckled again.

“Who acts well?” Maxie asked as she came into the kitchen. We all stared at her. Demi quickly wiped her face. Maxie grabbed a glass and poured herself some coke from the bottle I had just used.

Joe chuckled. “Demi,” he said. “She started fake crying and everything.”

Maxie froze, turning to look at Demi who was looking down at the floor. “What did she say?” Maxie asked slowly.

“Nothing,” Demi said quickly.

Maxie looked at Joe. “What did she say?”

Joe looked back and forth from Maxie to Demi, probably noticing the intensity in her face and voice. You could feel it in the air, that’s how thick it was. “She said some bullshit thing about you dying,” Joe said. “It’s good, right? Her acting?”

Maxie sighed, and looked at him. “Joe—”

“She’s just acting, right?” he asked her.

“You have to—“ she tried again.

“Yes or no?” Joe asked quietly.

She looked down. “No,” she said.

Joe gaped at her for a moment. Demi and I were just staring at the ground, not knowing what to do. I knew this must be so hard for Maxie, on top of everything. Then he walked over to Maxie, looking as if he might hit her. I got ready to jump in if he did. But he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. I couldn’t see Maxie’s face, because it was buried in Joe’s chest, but I could hear her sobs.

---

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Joe asked. He was holding my hand, as if he couldn’t let go as we sat at the kitchen table talking. Emma had woken up, and Nick had given me the signal that he was going to ask her to dinner. I had no choice but to leave, deciding to go see what Joe and them were doing. I couldn’t believe Demi had told Joe. She broke her promise. ButI couldn’t help but feel glad Joe knew. It seemed like a burden was lifting off of me.

I sighed. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” I admitted. “And since this is my last summer here, I wanted it to be one you’d remember the best of me. I wanted it to be like every year. The minute you knew, it would change, and you guys, this time, it would be like the rest of my life, finding closure and all that.” I sighed. “I wanted one last chance to be normal.”

“You’d never be normal,” he reminded me. “You’re too special.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“Does it – hurt?” he asked.

I looked at him as I noticed Demi and Kevin staring at me in wonder. Neither of them had asked me that, so I knew they were just as curious. “Not always,” I said. “Sometimes, I’ll get a little sick. But then I’ll be okay. I’ve gotten weaker though.”

“Why do you still have hair?” he asked, nodding.

I giggled. He would be the one to ask that. But then I remembered the reason and sobered up. “I didn’t go through chemotherapy,” I told him. “It wouldn’t have helped anyway.”

Joe nodded slowly. “Six months?”

I shrugged. “More or less.”

“Nick doesn’t know, does he?” Joe asked.

My lip started quivering as tears formed again. I was okay with dying. But I wasn’t okay with telling Nick. “No,” I whispered. “Don’t tell him.”

“He deserves to know,” he reminded me. “More than us.”

“That’s what I said,” Demi spoke up.

“I can’t tell him yet,” I said quietly. “I’m not ready. You know Nick. The moment I tell him, it’ll crush him.”

“But he’ll be more crushed when he finds out because you didn’t tell him sooner,” Kevin said.

“When are you going to tell him?” Joe asked, rolling his eyes. “On your death bed? Get real Max. You need to tell him… now.”

I sighed, and shook my head, grateful that he understood that I would have to be the one to tell him. “I can’t yet,” I said, my eyes pleading for him to understand.

He sighed and shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something. But he was cut off as Nick burst into the kitchen. “Guys, she said yes,” he announced, grinning as he hugged me. “We’re going to The Italian Bistro tomorrow night.”

I smiled slightly, feeling my heart tear. He seemed so happy, so full of life. That was how he should be, that was the kind of person he needed to be with. Not with someone who was losing her life, her energy. “That’s great,” I said. Joe just looked at me.

Nick seemed to notice the tension in the room, being as perceptive as he was. “What’s going on here?” he asked.