Leaving My Fingerprints

“And keep your hair down,” I said, combing my fingers through Emma’s hair to fix it. I ruffled her bangs a bit, pushing them back slightly. “Keep them out of your eyes. And please for the love of God, don’t play with your hair like you usually do. You’ll look like you’re either A OCD, B nervous, C scared, or D all of the above.”

Emma and I were in my room getting her ready for her date with Nick. Being his best friend, I knew a few things about him and what he liked. Emma was already perfect for him in most ways. She was smart, funny, beautiful, and when you got to know her, really outgoing. Unfortunately, she was always way to shy on a first date, which I could help her on. She also needed coaching on how now to act like a crazed fan girl every time he smiled at her or touched her.

“Don’t play with hair, got it,” Emma nodded.

I picked up the eyeshadow, and felt myself sway. I was suddenly dizzy. I gripped the dresser to stop from falling. Emma’s hand was immediately on my shoulder.

“Max, you okay?” she asked, concerned.

The dizzy spell went away and I stood straight, smiling at her. “Yeah just got dizzy for a second,” I said, trying to forget about it. I didn’t want to think about it right now, I couldn’t. “I’m fine. Now close your eyes.” She sat back down and closed her eyes as I started to apply a shade of bronze on her. It had to be dramatic, but natural. Nick didn’t like too much make-up, but Emma looked even more stunning in the right amounts. “He’ll ask you a lot of questions about yourself to get you to keep talking. Don’t hesitate to ask right back. He’s doing that because he’s shyer than you, even if he doesn’t seem it. When he meets a girl he really likes, he gets shy. It’ll be hard to stop talking but ask him/ Show him you’re interested too, even if he makes you feel special, like you’re the most interesting person he has ever met.”

“He does that already,” she admitted, smiling slightly. “He makes me feel like – when we’re talking or something – it’s like we’re the only two people in the world.” She sighed contently.

I turned to the dresser, looking for lip gloss to hide the pain. The only two people in the world – he made me feel like that just by looking at me. When we were together, everything else disappeared. I sighed, and turned back, a pink gloss in my hands. “You’ll know he’s really truly interested when he gets this smile on his face,” I said as I started to put the gloss on her. I small smiled was on my face as I thought of that smile. “It’s like a half smile kind of, but it lights up his eyes, and you’ll just melt,” I sighed. “And he’ll reach out,” I said, lost in my words. It was like Emma wasn’t even there and I was talking to myself. “And just gently touch you, and you’ll feel like nothing else in the world matters but keeping that smile on his face.” Nothing else mattered. I shook my head and turned my attention back to Emma who was staring at me intently. “What?” I blushed. Had I gone too far?

“We’re best friends right?” she asked.

“”Yeah,” I answered, warily.

“And you’d never lie to me?” she asked.

“Right,” I said, forcing myself to look her in the eyes. I didn’t mention that I was lying to her every second.

“And you wouldn’t keep anything from me?”

“What is this about?” I asked her, avoiding the questions. I was keeping the most important secret from her.

“Maxie, do you – love Nick?” she asked slowly.

I felt my stomach tighten as I answered. “Of course, he’s my best friend,” I said evasively.

“No, I mean love love.”

I started laughing, feigning hysteria. “Nick? As in we’ve seen each either through the worst and most awkward stages of life that it would be almost disgusting to even consider him that way? Are you serious?” Lies, lies, lies.

She smiled slightly. “I’m being silly, aren’t I?”

“Just a bit,” I smirked. Lies, lies, lies.

“It’s just,” she sighed. “the best relationships come out of friendships like yours. And the way you talk about him – I don’t know.”

I could tell she was wondering if she wasn’t just ebign silly. I had to nip this in the butt. “Nick and I are just friends, best friends.” The words cut daggers into my heart, one by one. “I know him better than anyone else, and vice versa. The day we fall in love is the day pigs fly. We know too much about each other to think or see each other that way.” I hope that made sense. “Besides, have you seen the way he looks at you? He’s never, never looked at me or anyone else like that.” Ever.

She blushed. “I just don’t – want him to come between us. Like if you love him, I wouldn’t go tonight. We’re best friends. And it’s always chicks before dicks,”

I hugged her. Emma was amazing. “First of all, Nick is not a dick. Secondly, I do not, I repeat, do not love him.” I tried to sound firm. “And thirdly, I’ve spent too much time getting you ready for it to go to waste.”

She smiled. “Thanks Maxie.”

I smiled, feeling the lies consuming me. My whole life was a bunch of lies. “Any time. Now let’s go downstairs so Nick can be blown away.”

She nodded, grinning and got up. We went downstairs where Nick, Joe, and Kevin were waiting. They all stood up as we came down. I went to stand by Kevin and Joe, resting my elbow on Joe’s shoulder. Emma went in front of Nick, who was gapping at her, his jaw practically on the floor. Joe elbowed him after he didn’t say anything. He shook his head and smiled. “Emma, you look –“

“Beautiful?” I suggested. “Stunning? Mind blowingly gorgeous?”

Joe rolled his eyes. “Okay Nick doesn’t need any help from the peanut gallery,” he said.

“Oh yeah because you helped him already, right?” I smirked.

“Guys, shut it,” Kevin said.

Nick threw a look at me. I nodded encouragingly. He turned back to Emma. “You’re beautiful.”

“All those suggestions and you go with beautiful?” I rolled my eyes. They all glared at me. I back away slowly. “Sorry.”

“Should we get going?” Nick held out his arm, which Emma took. He stopped and quickly came towards me, hugging me. “Thanks,” he whispered in my ear.

I grinned. “Any time now go before Joe steals Emma.”

He laughed and walked back to Emma. We watched them go, and I turned to Joe and Kevin. “So,” I said. “Who’s up for a movie?”

“We thought we’d talk a bit,” Kevin said after exchanging a look with Joe.

Great. “About?”

“Okay, don’t freak, okay?” Joe begged. “But we looked up this oncologist who worked on my mom’s friend and he was amazing. And he said that if you were willing, we could bring you in to see if there was anything he could do.”

I groaned. “Guys I appreciate it, I really do. But there’s nothing to do. It’s in the final stage, okay? And I really just don’t want to think about it right now. I just want to hang out, you know, be normal.”

They both looked at each other. Kevin sighed. “Fine, a movie, you said?”

I grinned, hugging them. “Thanks.”

“I say Juno,” Joe said loudly.

We all laughed as we went into the small theater they had in the house. Yeah, I just wanted to be normal.