Leaving My Fingerprints

“Here’s an extra pillow,” Nick said, coming into my room and tossing a pillow on my bed.

I peeked my head out of the bathroom where I had been washing my face before bed. “Thanks dude,” I grinned at him.

He smiled and sat down on my bed, staring at me. “I’m so excited you’re here,” he said.

I patted my face dry and came out of the bathroom, sitting down on the bed next to him. “Me too,” I said. I really was, even if it made me sad too. This would be my last summer here. This would be my last time with Nick.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe you’re moving across the country,” he said. “What am I supposed to do without you? Who am I going to talk to?”

“There are phones in Egypt,” I laughed nervously. This lie was – hard. I had never lied to Nick before. But my sickness, my death, it was too hard to let him in yet.

“Yeah but think about the international rates,” he smirked. “It’s going to cost me near a fortune.”

I rolled my eyes and hit him with the extra pillow he had brought. “Jerk.”

He laughed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “I’m only kidding dude. You know I’d spend a million dollars to talk to you.”

“You better,” I grinned at him, feeling my heart break. I sighed.

He lay back, lying on his hands behind his head. I followed suit, though I had turned my body and was leaning on one elbow to look at him. He had his eyes closed, a smile on his face. I felt tears starting to brim in my eyes. Nick. My Nick, so at peace right now, so happy, so himself. He didn’t know that this summer would be the last summer we had. This summer would be the last summer to remember me. He didn’t know I was madly in love with him.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. “I need your help,” he said.

“No I’m not straightening your hair again,” I smirked, remembering the last time we had done that.

He made a face, obviously remembering too. Let’s just say, that wasn’t Nick Jonas’s best day. “I wouldn’t even let you if you wanted,” he said.

“What is it then?” I questioned, knowing I’d help him no matter what.

“I – I – I,” he stammered.

I laughed. “Spit it out Jonas.” I wondered what was making him so nervous to talk to me. I mean, it was me and Nick, the dynamic duo. He knew he could tell me anything, and he had, even things I definitely did not need to know, but he did anyway. I felt the butterflies flutter in my stomach. Nick had only ever been nervous about girls. That was the only thing that made him act like this. But even then, he had always talked to me. I wasn’t anyone else. He always told me. But now he was stuttering, and stammering, and getting nervous. I wondered what could cause that. I wouldn’t let myself think it was because of me. Maybe he was trying to tell me what I longed to hear. Maybe he was trying to tell me he loved me. Maybe all my dreams were about to come true. I wouldn’t let myself think it. But then – what if it was true? What if Nick loved me? What if?

“I wanted to know what Emma thought about me,” he said after a deep breath.

I felt my heart shatter. “O-o-oh,” I said, trying to conceal my pain.

He saw through it. However, much to my surprise, he misinterpreted it. “Oh man,” he said. “You’ve already talked to her haven’t you? She doesn’t like me, does she? Oh man. She probably thinks I’m some pathetic little spoiled untalented Disney Channel star who isn’t worth her time, and—“

“Stop,” I cut him off. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breath. I took a deep breath, trying to fill some air into my lungs. My head was feeling light headed. For a moment, I thought it was because the cancer was acting up, but it wasn’t. It was because my whole world was shattering. I looked at Nick, putting my happiest smile on to mask the pain. “She likes you.”

“Really?” he asked, a grin coming to his face. “Did she tell you that?”

“It’s all she talks about,” I told him quietly. “Trust me.”

“Oh man, what do you think I should do?” he asked excitedly. “Should I ask her to dinner? What about a movie? Or maybe she’s more of an outdoor person? Maybe I should take her to a park. Maybe—“

“Oh my God, shut up,” I rolled my eyes at him. “Emma hates the outdoors so never take her to the park. She likes movie, but she likes food more, so dinner would be your best bet.”

He nodded, and opened his mouth, probably to ask me more questions about how to woo my best friend, not me, my best friend. But Joe came in, making Nick shut his mouth. “Good you’re up,” he said, smirking.

“Oh no,” I said. “I know that tone.”

“Why I don’t know what you’re talking about dear Maxie,” Joe smirked.

I laughed lightly as Nick shook his head. “Last time you used that tone, you ended up with a splinter in your butt, and I almost cracked my head.”

Nick looked between us. “Why don’t I remember this?”

“You were sick and I was bored,” Joe shrugged. “And she’s over exaggerating as usual.”

I glared at him. “I have pictures.” I pulled out my phone.

“Do you really?” Nick asked, amused.

Joe reached over and grabbed my phone. “Look are you guys coming or not? I’ll be by the pool.” He turned to go. “Come on Nickie, Emma’s coming,” he smirked.

I laughed though I really wanted to cry right then. Nick liked Emma. He liked her. Not me. I watched as Nick blushed and slowly got up, following Joe out of the room. I sighed, knowing I’d go too. As I got up, I thought maybe it was better this way. Maybe it was good Nick was happy with someone else. That meant that when I was gone, he would have someone, and it would be someone I knew would be good for him. Maybe this was best. I kept repeating that to myself as I met everyone outside, hoping I’d eventually believe it.