61 Ways To Annoy/Piss Off Billie Joe Armstrong
Number Thirteen On The List
“Oh hey, Billie, I’ve been looking for you.” I said walking into the kitchen and taking a seat across from Billie on the island.
“Oh god,” said Billie, sighing and running a hand through his hair.
“No, no, this is serious.” I said, looking down at my hands. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, honey, anything.” Billie said, and reached over to rub the top of my hand.
“Okay, but, answer this as honestly as you can, no lying okay?”
“Of course, of course.”
“Uhhhm, I don’t know how to say this, but, like,” I paused and looked down at my hands, again, “H-how, does sex work, and where do babies come from?”
Billie really didn’t see that coming, because he choked on his drink and coughed a few times, looking very shocked.
“Wow, you know, Ellie, I thought for second there that you were actually going to be serious for once.” Billie said through gritted teeth, “Why, do you ask me such thing?”
And he walked out with out answering my question. AGAIN!
So I got up and followed him, asking him over and over again. But, every time Billie ignored me and got on with what he was doing at the time.
But he finally snapped at about 2:30AM in the morning while I was sitting next to his bed, asking it over and over again.
“If I tell you would you leave me alone?” He asked, his eyes half-closed.
“Duhh,” was my answer.
“Fine, well, this is how it works: Man gets hard, man sticks hard thing in lady, man forgot to use condom, nine months later, the lady goes pop and out comes a baby. There, you got your explanation. G’night.” Billie pulled the sheets over his head.
“Really? Cause’ if that’s how Joey and Jakob were made, then I will tell them, I will go over to their rooms and I will tell them now. I will them they were accidents. I swear to God I will.” I said pointing to the door.
Billie’s head poked out from under the covers, and I heard a low growl, as well a death glare thrown at me.
“Okay, never mind, I won’t tell. Night night.” I said and quickly left the room.
About five minutes later I went back into their room, and poked Billie.
“Ugh. What now?” He said groggily.
“Um, just wanted to know, what’s a condom?” I asked in a low whisper.
“Out now.” Billie said and pointed to door way.
“Never mind, I’ll Google it.” I left, but not before poking Billie one last time and giggling.
“Oh god,” said Billie, sighing and running a hand through his hair.
“No, no, this is serious.” I said, looking down at my hands. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, honey, anything.” Billie said, and reached over to rub the top of my hand.
“Okay, but, answer this as honestly as you can, no lying okay?”
“Of course, of course.”
“Uhhhm, I don’t know how to say this, but, like,” I paused and looked down at my hands, again, “H-how, does sex work, and where do babies come from?”
Billie really didn’t see that coming, because he choked on his drink and coughed a few times, looking very shocked.
“Wow, you know, Ellie, I thought for second there that you were actually going to be serious for once.” Billie said through gritted teeth, “Why, do you ask me such thing?”
And he walked out with out answering my question. AGAIN!
So I got up and followed him, asking him over and over again. But, every time Billie ignored me and got on with what he was doing at the time.
But he finally snapped at about 2:30AM in the morning while I was sitting next to his bed, asking it over and over again.
“If I tell you would you leave me alone?” He asked, his eyes half-closed.
“Duhh,” was my answer.
“Fine, well, this is how it works: Man gets hard, man sticks hard thing in lady, man forgot to use condom, nine months later, the lady goes pop and out comes a baby. There, you got your explanation. G’night.” Billie pulled the sheets over his head.
“Really? Cause’ if that’s how Joey and Jakob were made, then I will tell them, I will go over to their rooms and I will tell them now. I will them they were accidents. I swear to God I will.” I said pointing to the door.
Billie’s head poked out from under the covers, and I heard a low growl, as well a death glare thrown at me.
“Okay, never mind, I won’t tell. Night night.” I said and quickly left the room.
About five minutes later I went back into their room, and poked Billie.
“Ugh. What now?” He said groggily.
“Um, just wanted to know, what’s a condom?” I asked in a low whisper.
“Out now.” Billie said and pointed to door way.
“Never mind, I’ll Google it.” I left, but not before poking Billie one last time and giggling.