61 Ways To Annoy/Piss Off Billie Joe Armstrong
Number Nine On The List
“Ellie the elephant! She’s fat, she’s stupid, she’s Ellie the elephant!” Sang Jakob, he must’ve made it up last night, since all he’s been doing is calling me ‘Ellie the Elephant’ all day today. It’s started to get annoying. “Ellie The ELEPHANT!” Jakob screamed one last time.
“Right, I’ve had enough now.” I yelled and started to chase a screaming Jakob, pillow gripped tightly in my hand, ready for the attack.
I had caught up with him in the kitchen, and finally managed to corner him in the corner, he had turned himself into a ball and was now shaking for good effect.
“Put the pillow down, and step away from the boy.” Said a police like voice, coming from a short man. “I repeat, put the pillow down and step away from the boy.”
I turned to Billie, who stood by the door, arms out like a policeman and hand held into a gun shape. I dropped the pillow, it made a soft thump on the tiled floor, and took three steps away from Jakob. Seeing this, Jakob, jumped up from his corner in the kitchen, blew a very loud raspberry, and ran out of the kitchen, screaming ‘Ellie the Elephant’ at the top of his lungs.
“Ellie we need to talk.” Billie said to me, after Jakob’s screaming had ceased.
Again!! Quick, change the subject! I told myself.
“Is about your problem?” I asked, curiously.
“What problem?” Billie looked confused.
“You know, your problem.” I said, trying to hint it.
“What problem?” He repeated.
“You know, your dwarfism.” I said eyeing him up and down.
“What?! I don’t have dwarfism!” Billie semi-yelled, a faint ‘Ellie the Elephant’ was heard in the background.
“Then, like, why are you short?” I asked, making sure to add as much drama and confusion to my tone as possible.
“Oh, you know what, go fuck yourself Ellie.” And with that Billie left the room, without answering my question: Why is he so short?
“Right, I’ve had enough now.” I yelled and started to chase a screaming Jakob, pillow gripped tightly in my hand, ready for the attack.
I had caught up with him in the kitchen, and finally managed to corner him in the corner, he had turned himself into a ball and was now shaking for good effect.
“Put the pillow down, and step away from the boy.” Said a police like voice, coming from a short man. “I repeat, put the pillow down and step away from the boy.”
I turned to Billie, who stood by the door, arms out like a policeman and hand held into a gun shape. I dropped the pillow, it made a soft thump on the tiled floor, and took three steps away from Jakob. Seeing this, Jakob, jumped up from his corner in the kitchen, blew a very loud raspberry, and ran out of the kitchen, screaming ‘Ellie the Elephant’ at the top of his lungs.
“Ellie we need to talk.” Billie said to me, after Jakob’s screaming had ceased.
Again!! Quick, change the subject! I told myself.
“Is about your problem?” I asked, curiously.
“What problem?” Billie looked confused.
“You know, your problem.” I said, trying to hint it.
“What problem?” He repeated.
“You know, your dwarfism.” I said eyeing him up and down.
“What?! I don’t have dwarfism!” Billie semi-yelled, a faint ‘Ellie the Elephant’ was heard in the background.
“Then, like, why are you short?” I asked, making sure to add as much drama and confusion to my tone as possible.
“Oh, you know what, go fuck yourself Ellie.” And with that Billie left the room, without answering my question: Why is he so short?