I Won't Call This Hell

"Hey kid," Jeremy greeted me with a big smile and great air conditioning. I was more than happy to climb into the front seat of his SUV, buckle in, and relax for a minute. Here, my mother couldn't bug me, John couldn't suffocate me, and it didn't matter that Sophie seemed to be ignoring me.

"So, what's up?" Shushing him and opening my eyes for only a second and found Jeremy's looking back at me.

"Let's not talk just yet, please? Give me a second." Closing my eyes again, I push my head against the leather headrest. The leather was still slightly warm from whenever Jeremy had parked last, but the air around me was cool.

"It's been a second." My shushing did nothing against him now, and I groaned, sitting up. "What's up with you, Lynn? You gotta problem?"

"Yea, and my problem has a name, too. John, that boy you told me to give a chance."

"What?" Jeremy said, looking at me, and then behind us as he switched lanes. "You went out for like a night, and then you thought he was all wrong, so he's following behind you like all the others, in search of a second chance when he didn't really mess up the first one? It was only you being extremely picky."

Eyes glued to the side of his face, I smirked. "Actually, I didn't turn him down, Jer. But I'm glad you think so highly of me."

"Oh, c'mon, kid. You know how you are."

"Not the point!"

"Yes it is. So, what's wrong with him then? Too clingy? Does he drool on you? Does he kiss the ground you walk on?"

"I hate you sometimes, you know that?" He laughed. "No, its just.. he seems to really like me. Even though I've told him that he shouldn't commit to anything that has my name in it. He doesn't seem to care about that. He just cares about me."

Chancing a quick glance at me, he asks, "and that's bad?"

"No, but.. I don't want him to get hurt. I like him, but... I can't commit. I just can't. He deserves better than a girl who doesn't believe in what he's thriving for."

Before the word's could surface on his lips, I answered his question, of what?

"Love."

Jeremy scoffed. I could believe in love. It wasn't impossible. I just needed to open up to it. Whatever.

I'd opened up enough, hadn't I? I had never searched for John. Heck, I had tried my best to avoid the boy. It wasn't as if I had melted into a puddle at the sight of him, and he had scooped me up and done me a huge favor doing so. This just happened. We just happened.

Like so many others, it just happened. Also like the others, it would end. I didn't know when, maybe when he got too close or asked too many questions. I hoped that it would last longer than the others, because I genuinely was attracted to John: his attitude, his physique, him in general.

My attraction couldn't stop it from ending, and neither could his. It would end, and he would get hurt.