Two Worlds Collide

6-16-09

We just left the airport in Texas, the U.S. part of the tour starts in 4 days. We are in an SUV and are driving to a hotel.

Everyone is totally psyched about this part of the tour. I can’t wait to see New Jersey again. It will be totally awesome. Mr. and Mrs. Jonas said that I could go to my old school and see some of my old friends like Aryella, Ashley, and Linzy. Most of the people at my school didn’t know that I was really close to the Jonas family because when they lived in New Jersey we all went to private school, a year after they left I switched to a College Prep school, so it will be pretty interesting seeing how people are going to react to the fact that I am planning on marrying Nick.

Speaking of which, it will be a month in 8 days since Nick gave me the promise ring and our love for each other is only growing. It’s funny how the morning after the concert, all the teen magazines in Madrid we covered with pictures from the concert even though the concert was in Brazil. I know Nick and his brothers said they want to keep their personal lives private, but I am really happy everyone knows about me and Nick.

Ryan took a plane from Madrid back to New Jersey, because he had to finish up school, the month he was with us he was being home schooled but he needed to get all of his finals and state test done. Allie was really calm about him leaving because she knows they are going to meet up soon.

Since the talk that Nick and I had, I have been talking to him and Allie about my feelings a lot more, which is bringing Allie and I closer together. I think that I have felt a bit better about everything since I started telling them every time I felt bad. It really did help, like now I don’t cry myself to sleep and I am not scared of as many things. Like I don’t worry about driving at night anymore (which would have been pretty bad since we are going to be in a tour bus for the next few months.)

Well we are about to get out so I’m going to stop writing.

-Jazi! xoxo

“You have really girly hand writing,” Kevin said as he took my notebook.

“Yeah cause it’s not like I am a girl or anything,” I replied sarcastically.

“Sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I mean your writing is really curvy and bubbly.”

I took my notebook back, “Thank you… I guess?”

“Your welcome.”

“Kevin you are a dork.”

“I must be a pretty awesome dork because Dani loves me!” Kevin has been talking about Dani more and more as the tour goes on. She is finally going to meet up with us once we get to the hotel. He is so happy.

“Speaking of which Kevin look,” Joe said as he pointed out the window at two girls with their backs turned to our car talking as we pulled into the hotel parking lot.
Papa J parked in the closes spot possible and we all jumped out and headed to the front of the building where Danielle and Lauren were waiting with a few devoted fans.

“KEV!” Danielle ran to Kevin and he ran to her. It was like in one of those corny lifetime movies.

“Baby I missed you!” Kevin pulled her into his arms and kissed her for the first time in months.

“I missed you too.” Danielle and Kevin continued to hold each other for the next few minutes as Mr. J and some other people helped get things out of the car and into the bus.

“Joey you don’t know how hard it was to go without you.” Lauren kissed Joe as she stood in his arms.

“I think I have an idea.”

“Jazi I am so happy I don’t have to leave you,” Nick said as wrapped his arms around me from behind as we looked at the reunited couples.

I smiled, “I know. I don’t think I could live without seeing your face in the morning.”

“Let’s go inside to the rooms,” Mrs. Jonas said and everyone headed in.

Me, Allie, Lauren, and Danielle are sharing a room that is connected to Nick, Kevin, and Joe’s room. Frankie is going to be across the hall with Mr. and Mrs. Jonas, which is normal.

We will be here for the next 4 days so we are definitely going to have a good time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Right now it is 8 pm and we are all in our PJ’s hanging out in the guys room. I am on the floor sitting between Nick’s legs, who had his back resting against the couch. Kevin had Dani in his lap out the couch. Lauren was cuddled up to Joe on the other end and Allie was alone next to me and Nick. Once again I felt bad… but this time I actually did feel bad because someone is alone.

“Alright Jazmin truth or dare?” Joe asked me.

I hate this game but we were having a good time so whatever, “Dare.”

“Ummmm… lick Nick’s sock!” Joe said with excitement.

“Joe pick another one. Nick wouldn’t even lick his own sock.” Lauren was a lifesaver.

“Fine… I dare you to tell your most memorable dream ever.”

“Ok…" I paused to think for a second, "Well once when I was younger my dad told me that I wasn’t aloud to date anyone until I was 16 and I had really like Nick a lot back then. Well that night I had a dream that I got put out because I was dating Nick. He was happy to be with me but I was crying my head off as he led me out of the door because I didn’t want to leave. Like he kept telling me 'Come on it's ok I love you' and all I could say is that I couldn't love him. My parents and your parents were sitting in the living room laughing at me as I bawled my eyes out. I woke up crying so hard my eyes burned, my parents came running in my room asking me what is wrong. I told them I was being forced to love Nick. My dad said it was a good thing I was flipping out like that and my mom just laughed. That dream scared me for weeks and couldn't think about Nick for a while because I was too scared to fall in love.”

“Wow. You were scared to love me? I love you too,” Nick said with his vouce full of pain as he got up and walked out the room.

“Remind me this is the last time I play truth or dare.” I said as I stood up. With my pajamas and teddy bear I wondered down the hallways looking for Nick. “Nick?” I whispered trying not to wake anyone that might be asleep in the hotel. “Nicholas!” I started to get louder as I turned down another corner.

I walked through the huge hotel exploring every floor possible until I got tired. This is the type of thing you would break up with someone over.

I suddenly got an idea: There was a stupid grand piano downstairs in the dining room. I hate hotels now.

I ran to the elevator and hit the button to the first floor. I rode the elevator from the eighth floor down to the lobby. I walked down the hall to the dining room and sure enough, Nicholas stupid Jerry Jonas was on the piano with his back facing the entrance to the room.

I slowly and quietly walked in hoping he wouldn’t hear me.

“Why?” He asked with a shaky voice before I even got close to him… he had been crying. I made my boyfriend cry and now I feel like a bitch… this is Joe’s fault.

I sat down next to him on the bench then watched as he moved away.

“Why are you going out with me? Why did you let me give you the ring? There are better people out there for me you know,” Nick looked up from the piano and at me. “Why did you have to hurt me like that? Do you find it funny? I want my ring back. No questions asked because guess what I don’t love you. 'I can’t love you'. We are done.” Nick stood up and held out his hand. “Jazmin please don’t make this harder than it needs to be or think I am joking because trust me I’m not. I can’t be with you. I don’t want to be with you. Our friendship is over and don’t come to me the next time you need to talk, go to Allie. I want you out of my life but since I can’t get that I am going to get the next best thing.”

I sat there in shock. What is he doing?

“Jazmin I want the ring.”

“You know what Nicholas? If you don’t want to give me the chance explain how I had that dream when I was 7 and it is my most memorable because it turned out to be totally wrong, then forget you! I don’t see how I thought I could ever love you! You did just what I thought you would! The only thing is that I thought being that you were my best friend you wouldn’t be such a jerk about it!” I took off the ring and threw it at him. “I don’t believe you.” I took off running out the room and back upstairs. Tears were flowing freely there was no way I could stop them. I ran into the suite past everyone into the girls’ room. I want to die.

Nick’s P.O.V.

Jazmin took off and I ran after her. I messed up big time. I should have let her explain.

I ran into the suite to a room of confused people, “Where is Jazmin!?”

“In the other room, why is she crying?” Allie asked with crossed arms and an angry face.

“I’ll explain later. I messed up.” I ran into the other room to see no one. “Jazmin I’m sorry please.” I found her in the bathroom crying so hard she was making herself sick and she couldn’t really breath. I ran over to her and pulled her to me. I don’t believe I did this to the only girl I truly love. “Shhh Jazmin calm down.”

She tried to fight my tight grip but I didn’t let go, I wasn’t going to.

“I-I-I…” Jazmin stuttered out between wheezes.

“Don’t talk just listen. I was wrong. I just thought that you didn’t love me. What I said to you was out of anger and I am wrong for that. Just know that I do love you and nothing in the world would make me stop loving you. You are the only girl I want so if I can’t have you I won’t have anyone. I understand if you hate me… just know that I am sorry,” I finished speaking and Jazmin finally stopped fighting to leave my grip.

“I-I h-hate you,” She managed to say through the sobs.

“I know. Right now I hate myself too. I shouldn’t have hurt you like that. I was stupid.”

“Can you please got off of me? Remember you don’t want me in your life,” she spoke with a sharp bitter tone. I let her go and she stood up and left the room.

I am going to get her back. I love her.