Breaking Their Hold

"So what are we gonna do now," I asked.

We were all gathered at Zacky's house. Like Gates had promised me earlier, Johnny was left out of the loop.

The room was filled of all the guys plus the girls. So it was a pretty decent size for us to have our own little party.

"Well, my dad just bought a case of beer. I can go get it." Matt said. "I have a bottle of Jack," Zacky said. "And I can make fruity drinks," Kendall said, happily.

We waited for Kendall and Lina to make their fruity drinks, and then we left.

Matt had his big truck, so he took Jimbo, Zacky, Kendall, and Lina. Gates took Michelle, Val, and myself.

I just stared outside the window, as everyone else was in their own little fantasy world, talking about frivolous things.

I began thinking about my own little what if's.

What if I hadn't come to California?

None of this would ever happen. I wouldn't have met Johnny. I wouldn't have gotten hurt by him. I wouldn't have kissed him. I wouldn't have to deal with what I was feeling right now. I wouldn't have to be drowning myself in alcohol.

I was fourteen years old. I was scared. I knew alcohol was something that was off-limits for me. I never touched alcohol before, and I never had the desire to.

But now, I wanted it. I heard tons of things, saying how it could make you forget things, even for a day. A day was all I needed or that's what I kept telling myself.

"So what are you gonna drink?" Val asked.

I wasn't paying any attention to her question. I just assumed that she was talking to Michelle or Gates. I had no idea what to drink. It's not like I did this before.

"Jazz, what do you want to drink?"

I flinched slightly, and all three of them laughed at me.

"You're such a spaz, Jazz." Gates said, smiling. I shrugged. It was all I really could do.

"So do you want to drink some beer with me?" Michelle asked. I shrugged.

"I've never drank anything before. I have no clue where to start," I mumbled.

All of a sudden, things got quiet.

I looked at all three of my friends. Gates just had a blank look on his face. Michelle had her mouth open in disbelief. Val was just sitting there. She almost looked like she was just that shocked that she couldn't think of anything to say to me.

"You really haven't," Val asked.

I shook my head. I didn't feel the need to lie to them, to make myself seem even a little bit more cool to them.

"Well, I'm happy you chose us to watch over you, when you get drunk off your rocker for the first time." Gates said. I rolled my eyes.

It's not like I had much of a choice. I wanted to get drunk, and they were the only people I really knew here.

"Well, I think you should start off with Lina and Kendall then," Val said. I nodded.

I didn't know much about drinks, but I knew better than to start off with whiskey. I knew it didn't exactly have the best taste in the world.

"So don't hang out with Zacky," Gates said seriously. I smiled.

I could really see Zacky getting tipsy. After all, he was the one with the bottle of Jack.

"We're here," Gates said. "And everyone else isn't," Michelle muttered.

I looked at Gates, and then I looked at Michelle.

What did happen between them? Did they resolve anything? Or did nothing get resolved, while I was away?

I looked over to Val, who was shaking her head.

I guess that was a no then.

I wondered if they were ever gonna get along again.

"Ah, here they are!" Gates said happily. He practically jumped out of the car. I guess he didn't want to be in the car with Michelle anymore.

"Well, let's see how this goes." Michelle muttered.