Shattered on the Ground

Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain.

“What are you doing?” Mike questioned slowly as he stared at his girlfriend skeptically. Her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her eyes refused to meet his.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” She was hunched over into one of the large basin like sinks scrubbing at her hands furiously. “I’m scrubbing in.”

“You can’t just scrub in.” Mike stated in slight disbelief. “You can’t just decide your going to work a surgery and do it. Anne decides were your going to work and I’m pretty sure her and Dr. Simon assigned you to ER.”

“Well I can’t work the freaking ER today, okay Mike?” Reese snapped turning off the water and facing her boyfriend. “I just can’t. I need to cut. I need to suture. I need consistency. I need black and white reality.” She gestured toward the door. “Out there in the ER, is the farthest thing from consistency and normalcy. Its hectic and chaotic and I can’t do it, Michael, not right now.”

“OCD kicking in?”

“You could say that.” Reese grunted as she pulled on a pair of gloves and turned to him expectantly.

He stared at her for a moment and sighed,

“You owe me.” He stated caving.
There were perks to having your boyfriend be a surgical doctor and not an intern—this was one of those things.

“It’s this thing called a supply closet.” Reese joked then shrugged. “Just saying.”

You're 10 feet tall and bullet proof.

“Dr. Hanley, would you like to do the honors of suturing the last stitch?” Mike questioned glancing up at her. Reese grinned, despite the fact that no one could see it behind her mask. It was a heart transplant and the whole hospital was talking about it.

“Thank you Dr. Magee.” She nodded stepping forward and taking the needle drivers from him and officially completing the surgery.

And then you leave the O.R.

“So, Mr. Garrett gets a new heart, Anne went home early, Mrs. Johannon is finally going home after being stuck here for six months. Everyone goes home happy.” One of the interns stated as they scrubbed out.

“An anomaly I swear.” Jessica commented as she dried her hands and left the room with Regan and Reese in toe.

“Everyone goes home happy?” Regan questioned, a hinting edge to her voice. Regan glanced at Reese out of the corner of her and Reese shot her a look in response. Reese was at the end of her rope, she needed to go home and sleep before she ended up murdering Regan. “I don’t think dear ol’ Nixon is going home happy.”

“Huh?” Jessica questioned in confusion.

“Drop it, Reggie, you have no idea what you are talking about.” Reese growled.

“Really?”

No one likes to lose control but as a surgeon there's nothing worse.

“So you aren’t running from Nixon and you aren’t playing cat and mouse with half the people from the ER?”

“Guys what are you talking about?” Jessica questioned glancing between the two. It was obvious something was going on and Jessica hated being out of the loop. Regan turned to her smirking but as she opened her mouth to speak another voice, one that was not of the three girls, intervened.

“Reese.” The statement of her name was getting old but it still brought forth the same reaction.
Reese froze and stared up at the man several feet away. His hair was slightly longer than she remembered and his eyes seemed somewhat wiser. The blood drained from Reese’s face and a similar reaction seemed to be happing to the man for he was much paler than she had seen him last. Vaguely she wondered if he had seen a ghost or if he was going to pass out.

“Chris.” She choked.

It's a sign of weakness. Of not being up to the task.

Regan and Jessica stared between the two in fascination; it wasn’t everyday that someone worked this kind of reaction out of Reese. As Regan and Jessica’s eyes flickered between the two it was obvious that neither were blinking. He took a step forward and Reese’s eyes widened in slight panic but her feet remained planted in place.

“Oh my god.” He murmured when he was just three feet away. He looked her over in disbelief, his mind did not recognize this Reese but his heart remembered her painfully well. “God, you’ve changed.”

“and you…” Reese was at a loss for words. “you haven’t changed at all.” Was that some kind of trend for Tennessee men? Chris chuckled slightly and glanced down at his shoes before his eyes flickered up to her face once more.

“Some things never change, huh?” Even Regan and Jessica caught the undercurrent of meaning behind his words. Reese cocked her head to one side as she tried to find something, anything that was not there the last time Reese had seen him.
He looked the same. Nothing had changed. But things had changed. Everything had changed, Ashley was dead and everyone was changed. Case in point—Reese.

“Some things do.”

And still there are times when it just gets away from you.

“Do you think we could talk?” Reese went rigid, it wasn’t so long ago that Nixon had spoken similar words; a conversation she was still trying to wash from her mind. Reese took a step back and gravitated toward Regan and Jessica.

“I don’t know if that is such a good idea, Chris.” She murmured hesitantly. A part of her wished to speak to Chris more than anything. Chris, who had been so much like a brother to her, who had nearly been her brother-in-law…

Flashes of Ashley shot painfully through her mind. Chris, Ashley, and Reese at the park when they were twelve, Chris, Ashley, and Reese lighting fireworks on the Forth of July, Chris, Ashley, and Reese- “I don’t think that is such a good idea.” She repeated softly backing away as though she’d been stung by the mere proximity of Chris.

“Why is it a bad idea?” He wondered curiously.

“Reese!”

“Reese?”

Reese jumped startled and so did Regan and Jessica as they all turned wildly to the two newcomers. Mike was standing beside the group in the doorway of which they had just come, Nixon was approaching her from behind Chris, and Reese’s mind was reeling.

This is too much, she thought panicking, this is too much.

When the world stops spinning. And you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you.

Chris and Nixon were never meant to be within the wings of Reese’s hospital. She had ran away for a reason. She didn’t want to be found, Reese wanted a new life and she had gotten it. Michael was never ever ever suppose to be within the vicinity of Chris and Nixon. Instinctively Jessica and Regan moved closer to Reese, sensing her discomfort within the suddenly claustrophobic wing.

“Reese?” Michael questioned again. It was obvious now that Reese was not comfortable. Her chest was rising and falling irregularly and her eyes were darting around to each person in turn. Her eyes finally landed on Michael; Michael was good, Michael was safe. “Are you alright? I wanted to talk to you about that conversation we had when you were scrubbing in.”

“Reese,” Chris spoke up again. “I’d really like to talk to you.”

“We have a lot of catching up to do.” Nixon spoke suddenly beside Chris. His eyes were boring into Reese’s emerald green eyes and it was making her squirm uncomfortably, her chest tightening painfully.

“Excuse me,” Michael turned to Chris and Nixon. “Who are you?”

“I’m basically her brother.” Chris spoke up and Reese closed her eyes praying that Nixon wouldn’t snowball the scenario when he spoke up,

“I’m her ex. Ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend, ex—“

“Shut up, Kenneth. You don’t mean enough to me to even be considered an ex.” She snarled cuttingly, effectively silencing the singer.

No matter how hard you fight it. You fall. And its scary as hell.

Connor and Regan’s eyes widened for reasons even she did not quite understand; Ryan approached from the adjoining hallway.

“Um, Reese?” Her gaze snapped to him, her eyes pleading for an excuse to get her out of the situation. Connor’s eyebrows furrowed at her pleading expression before he gestured to the man beside him. “This man has been looking for you.”

“Ryan?”

“Ryan?”

Reese’s eyes snapped to Chris and Nixon. “You know him?”

“Know him? He’s in our band, he’s one of our best friends.” Chris informed.

“How do you know him?” Nixon demanded.

“She’s the one that stitched up Hugo.” Ryan spoke up before turning to Reese and cocked his head to the side. “I thought you looked familiar. There is a picture of you and Ashley in Chris’s wallet.”

Reese took an instinctive step back and she shifted on her feet uneasy; hearing Ashley’s name spoken out loud made her flinch. Mike glanced at the three men in confusion before his gaze turned to his girlfriend expectantly.

Except there's an upside to free falling...

“Hey, uh, Reese?” Reese’s eyes snapped to Regan, pleading with her to get her out of this situation. “Anne wanted us to come see her ASAP after we were all done with our surgeries and such today. I just remembered.” She subtly elbowed Jessica.

“Ouch! Uh, yeah, right I forgot about that.”

“How could you two forget?” Connor questioned catching on. “She told us an hour ago she had to speak with us, that’s why I came looking for you three.” Regan wrapped her arm around Reese’s waist and Jessica and Connor moved to either of their side.

“Sorry,” Regan announced in mock regret. “But I’m going to have to steal Miss. Popularity now.” Before anyone could speak up a word of protest, Regan had guided Reese away from the men with Michael, Jessica and Connor in toe. It was silent for a long while, none of them sure what to say.

“You guys I’m sorry I ne-“

“Don’t worry about it, Reese.” Regan shook her head. “It’s obvious that whatever it is, it’s huge. You tell us when you’re ready, it’s okay we’re here.”

It's the chance you give your friends to catch you.