Shattered on the Ground

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want, is to be close to somebody.

“I’ll make it up to you somehow,”

Reese’s eyes remained closed as she hugged the torso next to her. All she wanted to do was for him to stop talking, stop apologizing, stop bringing it up. All Reese wanted was to feel okay, to feel safe, to feel wanted—she wanted to feel home but she also wanted him to shut up.

“Stop talking.” She grumbled. His hand wove lazily into her oaken colored bed head and she sighed in content; that felt good.

“I mean it Reese I-“

“Michael,” She snapped her eyes flashing open in annoyance as she looked up into the eyes of her guilt stricken boyfriend. “Shut up. I don’t to talk about it, I just want to forget about it. So please babe for the love all that is good, shut the fuck up.”

and he did.

So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to.

Reese sat silent in a corner table within the sleepy old tavern that was Tommy’s Bar. She picked at her salad perfectly vexed with herself and everyone around her that offered their two sense; namely Regan. She glanced up at the woman who was ordering drinks at the bar with Connor and Emily.

She loved the woman to death, she was her best friend, but Regan had a way of accidentally stepping all over people’s emotions. Regan didn’t sugar coat things and while Reese mostly liked that about her, Reese hated it right about now.
Regan in no way sugar coated her feelings toward Reese forgiving Michael for his indiscretion; in fact she was perfectly happy to name all the ways she’d make sure the man never thought of cheating again.

We choose wisely, the people we know inside out,

Reese offered her salad another jab before Emily, Connor, and Regan returned to the table with strawberry daiquiris all around. No one spoke immediately, Emily and Connor exchanged looks while Regan stared at her drink mildly dejected.
So maybe Reese had been a little harsh with her words of telling Regan where the line was on criticizing her relationship. Regan could dish criticism but she could never take it herself.

The silence stressed on and finally Reese broke. “Reggie, I’m sorry.” She murmured. “Really, I know you meant well.”

Regan offered a quiet smile and nodded, “s’okay.”

“Listen Reeses Pieces I just-we just-“ Connor glanced between the two girls on either side of him. “we love you, yeah know? We hate seeing you hurt and sometimes you do thinks that hurt yourself and I don’t even think you realize it.”

Reese glanced around at her friends, caught between feeling defensive and uneasy. She broke Connor’s gaze, unable to stand the great amount of concern for her in his eyes. She didn’t understand his worry, she was fine, she healthy…she was fine. She glanced down at her hands and caught sight of a small hangnail on her thumb and began picking at it with her index finger.

the people who know us best, the ones we can can trust,

“Reese,” Emily started then reached across the table and grabbed her hand when she failed to gain Reese’s attention, successfully stopping her assault on her thumb. “Listen to us,”

“Reese,” her voice started out unsure but grew stronger when Reese glanced over at Regan. “I remember when you told me about your sister-“

“What the hell does my sister have to do with anything?” Reese demanded angrily her eyes turning hard.

“You hate surprises, you don’t like driving, you pick at your finger when you’re put in an uncomfortable situation. You hate doctors and hospitals, which is concerning for an entirely different reason. You never finish drinking any bottle of water you start, you always leave exactly an inch at the bottom and you don’t even do it on purpose.”

“So what, now because you have a psychology degree that gives you the right to analyze me?” Reese shot back hotly.

But Connor continued, ignoring his close friend’s defensives. “You hate surprises because you want to plan your day and have it go according to plan uninterrupted so you can feel like you’re controlling everything you do and everything that happens. You hate driving because of what happened with Ashley. You pick at your fingers for a similar reason why some people cut-“

“That’s ridiculous!”

“Leaving water in the bottles is a type of compulsive symptom of constantly needing control and preparing yourself incase something bad happens.”

Reese shook her head not believing what she was hearing.

We choose people that can’t hurt us.

“You forgave Michael because you don’t love him.” He finished calmly.

Reese laughed bitterly. “Oh really, I don’t love my boyfriend now because my sister died is that it?”

“You forgave him because when he cheated on you it didn’t hurt you. You stay with Michael because your attached to him—because he saved you that night and you can’t let go of him because you think he can save you in every aspect of your life. But that doesn’t mean you’re in love with him.”

And once we’ve chosen those people… we tend to stick close by… no matter how much they hurt us... and sure, sometimes close can be too close.

“This is ridiculous, I don’t have to listen to this.” Reese slung her bag over her shoulder and pushed back her chair roughly.

“Reese wait!” Regan begged but Reese brushed by her angrily, ignoring her best friend.

“Let her go,” Emily said quietly and the trio watched her leave, wondering if they had just done more harm then good.

Sometimes that invasion of personal space… its too close.

Reese stormed across the bar, weaving her way through tables and only freezing when her eyes gazed over at one table in particular.

His lip ring gleamed against the dingy lights as he whispered something in the red head’s ear, his dark eyes shielded behind black hair and his tattoos peaking out from under his jacket.

But then he froze, a statue still imitation of Reese as his gaze met hers.

“Reese.”

Her name had barely left his lips before she fled the establishment.

Sometimes you find the one you need isn’t the one you chose.