Shattered on the Ground

Nixon and Chris never talked about what happened in the waiting room and they both knew they never would.
Chris was still angry and everyone knew that but Chris was trying to control his temper. Nixon too had gained something of an attitude in the past day. He was short tempered and easily annoyed; his friends knew he was looking for a fight that they weren’t offering. Nixon had even gone so far as to bring April back to the hospital just to get a reaction out of Chris but with no avail. Even Reese had grown steadily angry, snapping out of her wallowing shell, she was angry and defiant and purposely did what the doctors told her not to. She would eat before she was supposed to go for a test, she would not eat when doctors ordered her too, and she had snapped at the nurses every chance she got. She had even gone so far as to go off on Tim, Luke, and Brandon—Nixon stayed away so Reese never got the chance to go off on him. The only person she never yelled at was Chris. She didn’t know why but the angry flame inside her died every time she laid eyes on the boy.
Tim, Luke, and Brandon, seemed to be the only ones not trying to pick fights.
They had managed to avoid being alone with either Nixon or Chris and they never went within twenty feet of Reese’s room. Their plan was simple: Avoid Nixon & Chris = Avoiding a fight. Only they never took into account what would happen if Nixon didn’t avoid Reese like he had for months.

Nixon passed the hospital room before quickly back tracking to gaze into the room at the patient it held prisoner.
“What do you want?” The doctors said she had improved and she could go home tomorrow but in Nixon’s eyes she looked, if possible, worst. She was paler, dark circles lined tired eyes; her lips were pale and chapped. Her once sun kissed skin had been washed away and become replaced with a sickly pale color. Her eyes were no longer hiding internal pain and sadness, they were just hallow and angry now.

“Nothing,” Nixon shook his head and leaned against the doorframe. He glanced down the hall to be sure Chris or the others weren’t coming before he gazed back at Reese, who was holding a magazine within fragile hands. “What are you reading?”

“What do you care Nixon?” She questioned in annoyance. “You ignored me over a year and just because my sister dies you decide to acknowledge my presence? And the only thing that can come out of your mouth after all that time is ‘What are you reading’?” He flinched slightly but his once curious eyes had gone cold. He had been looking for a fight and he was going to get it from the girl who nearly died.

“You don’t have to be a bitch about it I was just asking.” He growled.

“Small talk was never your forte.” She commented, “What did you really want?”

“Nothing,” Nixon huffed in annoyance. “I just wanted to see how you were doing. You know consider your sister died but your being a bitch about it.” Reese was glaring daggers at him.

“At least I’m not stalking around like a brooding asshole.” Reese snapped back, she would never let Nixon know how badly he got under her skin; how badly his statement killed her.

“I’d rather be brooding, than heartless, Reesie.” The harshness of the statement mixed with the nickname that only he used for her and it left Reese momentarily stunned. Nixon had only ever called her Reesie when they were dating and it had always been out of affection not bitterness. “Maybe that was our problem.” He hissed under his breath as he turned to leave.
Nixon had every intention of storming out of the room and down the hall. He had every intention on returning to the waiting room and acting like an immature brooding teenager. Nixon had planned on doing a lot of things but he had never planned on hearing the strangled sob that stopped him dead in his tracks. Nixon never planned on feeling his heart twist, painfully and uncomfortably in his chest. He never planned on feeling like he would rather die than witness the pain he had just inflicted upon Reese. “Reesie,” He breathed frozen in place. She was hunched over in her bed with her palms pressed hard against her eyes, shielding her face from his view.
Reese had buried her emotions, the pain she felt over her sisters death, for days, but the emotions she had buried over Nixon and their past she had buried for over a year and now it was just too much to bare. Reese did not try to hide the pain he had caused her, she wasn’t proud enough to act as though it didn’t affect her and she didn’t have the strength to pull herself together. She cried shamelessly, deep gut-wrenching sobs wracked her body causing pain to shoot through her body from her broken ribs. “Reese.” Nixon stated again snapping out of his shocked trans and suddenly rushing to her side. He sat down on the edge of her bed and touched her wrists lightly, afraid to hurt her; Nixon was very aware of the many bruises that covered the girl. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“Yes you did.” She sobbed brokenly. “Your right, I was heartless then and I’m being heartless now.”

“No, no, no, Reese, I was wrong,” The last thing Nixon needed was Reese being convinced that she was a heartless bitch. The last thing he needed was Chris coming after him because God knew the kid had a breaking point and Nixon was sure that if Chris found out the state he had just put Reese in that Chris would strangle him. “I didn’t mean it, Reese I swear. I was just angry. I’m sorry.” But Reese was still doubled over, sobbing into her hands and refusing to look at Nixon.

“I should have died.” She cried but the strength in her voice left him both shocked and uneasy. The assuredness in her voice scared him, Nixon knew she truly believed her words. “It should have been me that died!” She said emotionally. “I was the one that convinced her to go out that night. I was the one that dragged her to the party. It should have been me, not her! Not Ashley, me” Her hands had moved from her face to her hair as she pulled at it desperately. “It should have been me!”

“No,” Nixon shook his head and was suddenly on his feet, his hands snaking around her wrists. “No, Reese stop. Stop!” He ordered but she continued to pull at her hair and Nixon was struggling with the broken sobbing girl. Her unbroken arm disentangled itself from her hair and shot out to punch him weakly in the chest.

“It should have been me! Ashley was supposed to get married!” Her voice was steadily rising and Nixon knew that if he didn’t calm Reese down the nurses would come. Nixon’s mind automatically went to the worst case scenario of them drugging Reese and shipping her off to a foam room. “We were supposed to pick out dresses next week! I should have died, not Ashley. Ashley had a future.”

“So do you,” Nixon told her trying to pull her into his arms but she continued to fight him. He reached for hand but her hand recoiled from his touch and she slapped him across the face.

“No,” She seethed, her voice had lowered considerably but she could have been yelling with the venom that laced her words. “don’t comfort me. Not you.” She growled. “Not after what you put me through. You don’t have the right to suddenly become the good guy in my life, Kenneth. You can’t just try to give me a hug and offer comforting words just because your afraid Chris will make you eat sheetrock. My sister is dead and so are you.” She snarled angrily, pushing him away with her good arm. He stumbled off the bed, shocked from the conviction in her voice. “You are dead to me Kenneth Nixon.” He stared at her in startled silence, all thought process gone. Nixon didn’t know what to say to her all his mind offered was one loud ---------! “Get out of here.” She snarled. “Go fuck April.” That snapped him out of it and he started at her with startled eyes. “Hunny, just because I’m in a hospital bed with half my body in a cast doesn’t mean I’m stupid. I know she’s here, I know that even though Chris told you to make her leave you’ve probably just hid her away in another waiting room.”

“You herd her,” Nixon mumbled more to himself than to Reese.

“I could hear her ten miles away, Nixon. Her stupid voice is engraved in my memory thanks to you.”

“Re-“

“Don’t.” She snapped softly, venom reentering her voice. “My heart can’t take your regrets, Nixon.” He nodded, his lips pursed into a thin line as he looked away from her. Suddenly Reese didn’t seem so wounded and broken as she had when he had first entered the room. Confliction settled deep in Nixon’s gut, he didn’t want to leave her like this, not with all their issues suddenly strewn all over the floor in the space between them. But she wanted him gone and so his Vans moved toward the door and he walked away from Reese Lynn just like he had a year ago.

And just like a year ago it left Reese broken and alone with a quite stream of tears running down her face.