Do You Think You're Up For This?

“Maybe we’ll see this through, if we get it together. Maybe I’ll get to you, if youget it together.” - Midtown

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“It wasn’t…that…bad,” Seb remarks hesitantly, glancing at me.

“You were completely off,” Jude interjects honestly, nodding at Suzie.

He’s oblivious to the death glares Seb and I are giving him.

They’ve been at odds all day; Jude’s been overeager and antsy to get back in the studio for awhile now.

True, out of all of us, she’s played worst today, but Seb and I didn’t want to say anything to upset her.

“Fuck you,” she spits back at Jude.

In fact, we hadn’t had high hopes for this practice to go well at all, given Suzie’s still recent breakup with Mike and also the fact that we haven’t played together in over a year.

“Let’s just start from the beginning,” I say, before they can start another argument.

“What’s the point?” Jude groans tiredly from behind his drums. “We can’t even get through two fucking songs in a row without-”

“You don’t have to be an ass about it,” Suzie snaps, turning to glare at him.

“You don’t have to be a bit-”

“Let’s take a break,” Seb announces, sensing one of their big fights coming on.

Suzie stalks out of the room while Jude fumes silently, walking over to the couch on the other end of the room and taking out his phone, most likely to complain to his girlfriend.

Seb gives me a look and we head outside the practice space. Suzie is nowhere to be found.

It’s possible she went home to mope.

We end up at a small café down the street.

“What are we gonna do, Rae?” he suddenly questions me. He’s biting his lip with concern.

I shake my head in response, because I have no idea.

I pull out my new notebook of lyrics to ask Seb’s opinion, although I’m not too confident with my latest tries.

In between my writer’s block and Elliott, Suzie being unable to cope with her mistake in leaving Mike, and Jude being unable to control his temper with Suzie, I just don’t know where we stand as a band anymore.

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We end up leaving the practice space earlier than planned, yet I’m still exhausted when I arrive to our temporary home to Michael feeding Elliott in his highchair.

We’re still not completely unpacked; we’ve only just moved in a few days ago.

“How was practice?” he asks, as I put my things aside and sit at the table with them.

“Disaster,” I reply, groaning as I rub my face. “Suzie and Jude wouldn’t stop fighting the entire time.”

“You haven’t played together in awhile,” he points out reassuringly, wiping Elliott’s face clean of baby food. “Give it time, Rae.” Elliott wiggles restlessly away, whining and reaching his pudgy arms out in my direction, noticing my presence.

I smile lightly as Michael picks him up to place him on my lap.

“Did you miss me, baby?” I kiss Elliott’s head.

“Nicola’s booked her flight,” Michael informs me, sitting down again and scooting closer to tickle Elliott, who laughs and fidgets in my arms.

“She’ll be here to help you before I have to leave.”

He’ll be away for two or three weeks for some tour dates with Pistol Youth in New Zealand.

I bite my lip, nodding as I think.

“Hey,” he says, resting his hand on my leg. I look at him.

“We’ll be alright,” he reassures me with a smile.

I’m a little envious of his confidence as I try to smile back.