You're My Favourite Sound

Frank followed after October to the dock as the last loading truck pulled away, and watched as she lifted herself up onto the concrete slab. She had suggested going through the back to the outside after he had made a comment about it being hot inside the club, which he knew his nerves were to blame for.

He set their drinks down, two Red Bulls, and rested on the edge of the loading dock. A few of the fans from the show were still lingering outside and noticed Frank. They whispered to each other, trying to decide who would run up and try to talk to him first.

Finally, one bold blonde haired girl, wearing a miniskirt and flats with a very small Hollister t-shirt approached Frank. It was the middle of December and October wondered how the hell this girl could wear such limited clothing. She handed Frank a ticket stub and a sharpie, allowing her hand to linger on his a little longer than normal, and asked him for his autograph. The other girls she was with, dressed similarly, followed in suit.

Frank smiled politely at them, thanked them for coming and took pictures on request. After the mini photo shoot, the first girl rested her hand on Frank’s forearm (at this point he had been standing for the pictures) and asked if he wanted to join them at a party down by the marina.

While Frank declined the offer, claiming that he was pretty wiped and not really up for a huge party, one of the other girls took notice of October and eyed her suspiciously. Finally she took a step away from the other girls and Frank, and caught October’s attention.

"Are you waiting for an autograph, too?" she asked in a fake, sweet voice. Frank heard this and had turned around to see what October’s response would be.

October just stared blankly at the girl. "No, I’m not," she retorted, emotionless.

The girl seemed quite dissatisfied with this answer but turned back to Frank to see if he had changed his mind about the party. It seemed that these girls weren’t going to take 'no' for an answer, but Frank continued to try to think of different ways to say 'no' without telling them that he really didn’t want to hang out with 'those kind of kids'.

Just then, Mikey and Gerard walked through the backstage door and the girls spun around and ran after them to try to get them to go. This amused the other two band members and they looked over at Frank, who gave them an appreciative smile.

Frank turned back to where October was sitting just as Mikey gave October a secret wink, causing her to smile back at the bassist. Frank sat down next to her and didn’t say anything for a while.

"So," he began, finally breaking the silence between them. "Did you want my autograph or what..?" he laughed and smiled at her, holding out the marker. October stared back at him and gave him a disguised sneer. He laughed and responded, "Oh, okay, if you want it that bad..." and proceeded to sign his name all over her arm.

October laughed and tried to get away, but Frank had grabbed her by the waist and was now signing her forehead. She grabbed hold of his hand and tried to pull it away. She succeeded in knocking the marker out of his hand, but at this point, he was hovering over her, both hands resting on the ground next to her and she was laying flat on her back, looking into those soft hazel eyes that had captivated her so easily. Her heart was racing, but she had never felt so on top of the world.

Frank was staring back into her warm green eyes. Her eyeliner had smeared a little and was now forming small black lines on her eyelid. He had never been so enthralled by one person. She was confident, but shy and soft-spoken. She was tough, but she could have fun, and when she looked at him, it was as if no one else was in the room.

"You, uh..." he said as he took his thumb, licked it and moved his hand towards her face, "You’ve got a little something... on your face." He smiled.

"Oh, do I?" October said, pushing his hand away and sitting up.

"Yeah, just a little, here, let me get that for you," he laughed, still trying to wipe his hand on her face. She gave up the struggle and allowed him to wipe his thumb across her cheek.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically.

"Anytime," he replied, sitting up straight again. "So, how long have you been working here with Alex?"

"About six months," October said. "I've been here for almost three years... doing college at the same time," she added.

"That's cool," he smiled again, "You wanna become a producer, right? I always remember you telling me that that's what you wanted to be."

"Yeah, I do," she said, smiling back. He nodded and dug his hand in his pants pocket, before pulling it back out and digging into the other one, then the back pockets. "What are you looking for?" asked October.

"My cigs," Frank answered, remembering he'd run out before the show, and then looked at her to see her staring back at him with an arched eyebrow. He remembered when they had both made a deal to give up smoking, wearing the patches and everything. "It didn't work," he confessed, a little embarassed. He hoped she wouldn't use this as a con against him.

October merely just rolled her eyes and brought out a packet of Marlboro Lights from her own pocket. "Same here," she told him with a cheeky grin. Frank's eyes lit up and he laughed.

"You haven't changed," he said, taking the cigarette she handed to him as she lit her own.

"Neither have you," she retorted. She watched him light up and inhale on the cancer stick, before changing her mind. "Actually you have... Well, appearance wise."

Frank gave her back her lighter, not saying a word. He knew what was coming. "What's that then?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Your skinny ass," October answered, smoke escaping her plump lips, "Have you forgotten how to eat since I last saw you?"

"I've lost some weight," Frank shrugged, "So what?"

"You've lost a lot of weight," she corrected, "I mean, you've always been skinny, but... look at you, you're tiny!" She laughed lightly and when Frank didn't join in, stopped. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you..."

"You didn't," he shook his head slightly. "I take it you didn't hear or read the stories on the Internet or anything? There was even a little something on the news at one point... bastards."

October shook her head, "No, I don't know what you're talking about." He was looking at her, biting his lip. October frowned, "What is it?"

Frank looked away, out into the distance, and sighed. October kept her eyes on him and waited for what he had to say.

"After what happened between you and me, after I got on that plane and went back to Jersey... I began to drink a lot, more than I usually did, and it became a regular thing... a 24/7 thing..." He took a drag from his cigarette and October could tell this wasn't going to be good. "During the next year I inherited a drinking problem and it wasn't just bringing me down, it was bringing the band down, everyone around me down... I knew I had to stop and I got help from some people, Gerard being the main help because he's obviously gone through the same thing, and I managed to get sober... but not in a good way..."

"What do you mean?" inquired October.

"Well, I'd replaced alcohol. I replaced it with food... So instead of drinking, I was eating... Every time I wanted a drink, I was craving for a drink or I was bored or I wanted to kill time, I would eat. I would be eating, like, fucking four meals a day, eating to the point where I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I was this fat little shit, and I hated it... I really hated what I had become, so obviously I wanted to lose weight and the fastest way of doing that was to throw everything up, right?"

October gasped. "You're bulimic?"

"I was," Frank said, "But then I told myself I was being crazy, so... I stopped eating. I starved myself for a while and my family and friends were all worried about me. I was gonna be forced to see a phychiatrist, but I hate those fuckers and decided I'd sort out my own problems... And I'm so much better now, October, I'm actually happy about myself." Silence followed and he took another drag, a deep one, before sighing heavily. "Anyway," he said in a more upbeat tone, "That's what's been happening in the past three years." He chuckled.

"That's what's been happening because of me," October whispered from beside him. He turned his head to see her disgusted expression with herself.

"Hey, come on, you know all of this was my fault, right?" Frank said.

"Jesus, that must have been so horrible, Frank," she cried.

"There's no need to beat yourself up over this," he reasoned, "Besides, if I hadn't gone through that, I wouldn't have met my girlfriend."

October looked up at him then. "You have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah," he nodded with a small smile. "She works with Skeleton Crew. Her name's Jamia, she's been really great."

October nodded and the smile on his face caused her to smile in return. "That's awesome, I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks," he replied, and they both sucked on their cigarettes again.

It was nearing midnight now and a cold wind started to pick up around them, hitting them both in the face every once in a while.

"Congratulations, by the way," Frank said suddenly, and October followed his gaze to her ring. "When's the big day?"

"I have no idea," she replied honestly, "We just got engaged last night." He nodded and looked away, down at the marker still in his hands.

"How is Ethan?"

"He's good," she nodded, "He's working with Adeline, dealing with the bands."

"He okay with you slowly killing yourself?" he inquired, motioning to her cigarette. She shrugged.

"What he doesn't know can't hurt him." Frank smirked.

"Does Billie like him, your mom?"

"They keep saying how good he's been for me," replied October with a small smile. Frank exhaled.

"That's what they used to tell me," he said with a guilty smile, "Until I fucked everything up."

"Why do you keep blaming youself, Frank? I was the one who turned everyone against me..."

He shook his head, exhaling smoke. "Let's not talk about this anymore. The past is the past."

"Sure," October shrugged and threw away the butt, before changing the subject. "So how long are you in LA this time?"

He shrugged with a reply of, "However long it takes to finish-"

"The next album," she cut him off as he threw his own butt. He giggled and gulped down the last of his Red Bull, just as Mikey made his way over.

"Hey, sorry to interupt," he said, his light brown hair gelled back on top of his head. "But, um, our ride is leaving," he told Frank hesitantly, "And, uh... I dunno if you wanted to..."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a sec," Frank nodded up to the bassist.

Mikey returned the nod and then faced October. "You look good, sweetheart," he said, giving her a huge smile along with a hug.

"You too, Mikes," the younger girl replied with a grin.

Frank stood then and took her hand to help her to her feet. Mikey was walking back the way he came as Frank kept a hold of October's hand, bringing it up to his lips and giving it a brief kiss.

"I'll see you around," he said with his hint of a smirk. And with that, he was following after Mikey, walking away from the girl who had accidentally stolen his heart three and a half years ago.

"Bye, Frank," October whispered into the cool Los Angeles air.