I'm Just A Kid

I woke up it was 7.

I woke up to a simple splash of water in my face. I groaned, and wiped my eyes. My light was on; Father was at the edge of my bed. “You’re going to be late for school.” he told me. I didn't care, I hated school. I was getting behind in my work, even though I had no excuse for it. I wasn't doing sports, I didn't have any after school classes. All of my 'friends' were moving, or changing schools. I was starting to feel left out of things.
My whole life, I hadn't exactly fit in, I was taller, into Science Fiction/fantasy and not into going shopping, I liked to stay home and read, write, draw. I wasn't the one to go outside, unless it was winter.
Winter and Fall are the most inspirational seasons for me. I could sit outside for hours and draw in the fall, or if the power was out in the winter I sat and wrote all day.

Father left my room. He would only be right outside and around a corner, on the computer playing online poker. He wouldn't let me get Internet in my own room, even though I had a computer, and if he gave me a chance, I could totally get the money to afford it. Mother wants me to give her my e-mail addresses, my passwords and usernames for all of my accounts. I don't really like telling my mom those things, she could go on my account and read through all of my things, and some things I like to keep away from my parents.
Growing up being adopted... it's hard. Not knowing my real parents is even harder, I'm not sure where or even who they are. No names, no ages, for all I know I could have another brother or sister out there, and maybe they knew about me. I don't think that it's fair at all.
I slowly rolled out of bed; my hair was wet from Father. “Thanks, you douche bag” I whispered to myself as I turned on my hair straightener and walked to the bathroom. I checked myself in the mirror; my eyes were really blue this morning. Sometimes they went a little bit green, ever since I was little they changed. I used to have bleach blond hair, the bright blue eyes, the olive skin. I used to be so pretty.
Father has taken my confidence away; I hide behind my eyeliner, not showing my truly beautiful eyes. I knew I was smart, beautiful, and all those other things. I believe that there is no such thing as ugly, or dumb. I'm a non believer in god, don't try and change my mind about it either, you'll just get offended to what I might say.
I heard the beep-beep, beep-beep-beep from my hair straightener and opened the bathroom door, grabbing my brush from the drawer before I was fully out the doorway.
I walked back to my room, not even taking a glance at Father on the way. I shook the mouse on my computer, waking it up from its sleep. I sighed and sat down on my green cushioned computer chair. ITunes was pretty much all I used it for, that and sometimes I typed out my reports and stories, then saved them on my thumb drive to bring to school.
I heard a knock at my door; I looked over and saw Father standing there, with a faint smile on his face. My heart began to race. I just looked back at the computer screen, trying to ignore him. “Oh come on babe, you know you don't need all this makeup.” he said as he picked up my eyeliner and put it back down from my dresser only 2 feet away. I didn't say anything, I just tried to stay busy with things around me, and maybe he wouldn't touch me. I was so wrong.
He took a few steps and was behind my computer chair. I leaned forward, wanting so badly to get away. He first touched the back of my neck, then slowly rubbed his hands towards the side of my face, I closed my eyes and tried to keep the tears inside. He moved his hands, so slowly, down my neck. I wanted to just rip his hands off of me; to just yell at him. I had done it once before, yelled at him, told him to stop. It only made him more turned on. That was the first night he kissed me, the first night I was raped.
The thought of that happening again scared the shit outta me. I took his hands and threw them off of me, “Get off!” I yelled and practically spit in his face. He held onto my hands as I tried to shake him off. He was still behind my computer chair; I fell on my knees as I tried to move the chair out of the way. “Get the hell off of me, you bastard!”
I stopped eventually stopped thrashing around. He still held onto my wrists. I started crying, I felt the tears falling down my face. I was used to it.
“Oh, babe.” he said, and then paused. I swallowed deeply and tried to catch my breath. “You know you want me, you just simply.” he stopped talking as his lips met mine. His tongue played with mine, I wanted so hard to just rip it out. I finally pulled back hard enough for him to stop. “You just simply can't resist.” he said as he was out of breath.
I jerked my hands back, wanting so badly for him to let go. The tears stopped, I couldn't continue crying for long, maybe five minutes at most. I slowly pulled my hands towards my face, his still came with mine. “Will you just let go for a second.” I whispered, staring him right in the eyes. He let go. I took a deep breath and got the hair out of my face, then wiped my eyes. I put my hands on the back of the computer chair. He still just stood there. “What else do you have planned, you fucking creep.” I sneered at him. He just simply walked out.
I continued getting ready. I had almost no time left.
I would act so normal at school, like nothing had ever happened.