If I Never Hold You

If I Never Hold You Ch. 19- Recuperating

The next morning, my mom made me pancakes for breakfast. Matt had left at 9 last night. Mr. Shively decided to be nice and give us today off for jazz band so I’d gotten to sleep in.

“On broken wings I’m fallin and it won’t be long. This skin on me is burning by the fires of the sun. On skinned knees I’m bleeding and it won’t be long. I gotta find that feeling and I’ll search for so long.” My cell rand. Danny.

“Hey!” I said.

“I’m gonna pick you up today, alright?”

“Oh, sure. I’m finishing breakfast now.” I stuffed some pancakes in my mouth.

“Aright.” He finished. I got done with everything and he was here.

“See ya mom!” I called. My dad was already at work.

“Bye sweetie! Have a good day!”

“You too.” She works at the elementary school which doesn’t start the day till an hour after the high school. Figure that out!

Stepping out of the house, I found my way to Danny who stood in the driveway.

“No car?” I asked as we began walking.

“Nah. Dad’s getting it washed today.” He explained. “Listen, we need to hang today.”

“Yeah, alright.” I nodded.

First period, I spent the whole class talking to Ali, Leana and Crystal. I was tempted to tell them about Johnny and I but… maybe another time.

“Johnny keeps lookin at you.” Leana whispered to me.

“Oh goodie…” I sighed.

When the bell rang after class, a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back.

Johnny. “Hey…uh, we need to talk…about the other night?”

Before I could answer, someone pushed me. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the little bitch. One day without talking to him too much for you? Jealous?” Britney cackled.

“Fuck off. Dip-shit.” I rolled my eyes. “But, Johnny, we’ll talk in class.”

Britney clicked her tongue. “Ugh, no body talks to ME that way.”

I laughed. “That’s where you’re wrong, prep. I just fuckin did.”

I walked away, blood pressure rising slowly. That bitch.

“Well, well, I hate you!” I heard her scream behind me.

“Feelings mutual, motherfucker!” I raised my middle fingers high, then rested my hands at my sides. “Yeah… for both of us.” I mumbled.

Getting to class, I sat down. Johnny soon entered, taking a seat next to me. We were silent half of the class but I soon got a note passed to me.

“Are you ok?” he wrote.

“Yeah, y?”

“You seem down. And you left with Matt yesterday. Y was that?”

“I…uh…couldn’t take it.”

“What?” he wrote.

“The fact that everyone asked what was wrong.” I lied.

“Oh, sry. So…what did u & Matt do?”

“We fucked.” I wrote, wanting to see what he’d say. His eyes bulged.

“Really?”

“No. We went to Dairy Queen then watched movies at my house. Y?”

“Jw. U 2 seem to get along great, huh?”

“Yeah. He’s a god guy.”

“I know.”

Before another thing could be written, someone entered the room and handed a note to our teacher.

“Melanie.” She called. “A note for you.” she gave it to me. That girl must have been an office page. I began reading…

“Bitch, I see you enjoy talking with my boyfriend. You better not have anyintencions interest in him.” Stupid cunt can’t spell. “I own him now. –Brit.” The ‘I’ was dotted with a heart. Cute.

“Ms. Tucker, do you need to go down to the office?” my teacher asked as I folded the note, sticking it in my pocket.

“No.” I said, but mumbled under my breath “But I’ll probably be fuckin… sent to Juvie when I’m done with that prep bitch.”

“Who was that from?” Johnny asked as the bell rang.

“Your owner.” I sneered, walking out of class.

“What?” he had to jog to catch up to me.

“Apparently she ‘owns you now’.” I used air quotes.

“What!?”

“Yep.” Entering the gym, I handed the note to Matt then turned to enter the locker room.

As I opened my locker, Ali spoke. “So, you better today?”

“Yep.” That’s true. I was feeling better. Not really sad. Just pissed now.

“That’s good.” Crystal sighed. Gym was boring. Science, stupid. Spanish fun per usual. Then English we talked all period. In lunch, I got a chicken burger and socialized.

“So, yesterday really helped you calm down, huh?” matt asked.

“Yeah. Thanks again!”

“What’d you do?” Danny asked.

“Hung all day.” I answered.

“Shives knew you’d be gone for band so he didn’t care.” Crystal laughed.

“Today you wanna go on that date?” Val asked Matt.

“Of course!” he replied.

“You guys are so cute together!” I smiled.

“Aw, thanks gorgeous!” Val grinned at me.

“Her, gorgeous!? I think not!” Brit sneered.

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up?” Ali asked.

“Me shut up, you shut up bitch!” Brit called.

“No, I don’t think you know how to shut up! It’s like your brain is wiped to say stupid things constantly. Like, there’s no end to the stupidity.” I pointed out. Everyone laughed. Even Johnny!

“Ugh, you’re so…” she paused.

“Now, don’t go trying to use big words! You know what happened last time.” I warned, getting more laughter from my friends.

The bell rang.

Band went quickly then Danny and I left. No homework. We went to his house and hung out, sitting in his room, now listening to some Guns N Roses.

“So, you wanna tell me what happened yesterday?” he questioned.

“Sure. Well, two days ago, Johnny and I kinda…” I paused. “We had sex.”

“Shit.” Danny mumbled.

“What? Are you mad?”

“Mad? I’m pissed that he’d do that! He hasn’t left Brit bitch either!”

“Yeah. I know…” I shook my head, sipping the Pepsi he’d gotten me.

“Why would he do that?” he practically yelled. “What the fuck!?”

“Calm down.” I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Dan, we’ve been through a lot. I know you just want to kill him but, remember what happened last time? With the suspension?” Danny grinned, nodding. “Let’s not have a replay of that.”

“Fine…” Danny sighed. It grew silent for a few minutes. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“No. He used a condom.”

He sighed, relieved. “Good.” 40 minutes passed of conversation and it was all just random talk. Until he voice what I’m sure was just a thought. “Are you replacing me with Matt?”

I was taken aback. “What!? No!!” he stayed quiet. “Danny, we’ve been friends for years! Way longer than Matt and I. You’ve been there for me when no one else was. Back before Ali and Crystal. Way back. And Matt’s a friend, sure. We’ve gotten really close since he came her. And now, like you, he wants to help me through my Johnny issue.”

“I just…-”

“Felt neglected, I know. I’m still trying to sort out how to distribute my attention between all of my friends. I’ve never had this big of a group before.”

“Yeah. It’s cool, isn’t it?” he beamed. That smiled I’d seen for years just lifted me up once again.

“Danny, dinner!” his dad called.

He practically charged down the stairs and into the dining room, sending me into a fit of laughter. His mom and dad ate with us. These people were like a second family for me…