If I Never Hold You

If I Never Hold You Ch. 22- The Fault Is My Own

After a long walk, we were entering Brian’s house.

“We’ll clean ya up in the bathroom in the basement.” Matt said as he helped me down the stairs. I was feeling a bit dizzy.

Instantly, the boys saw us and rushed over. “What the hell happened, dude?” Jimmy called.

“She beat the shit outa Britney!” Ali said, glancing over at Johnny.

“Sweet!” Zacky and Brian laughed.

“I’d hate to see her right now.” Jimmy commented. “Girl, ya got blood all over your shirt!” I gazed down; finding the blood from my mouth had dripped to my white shirt.

“Shit.” I practically laughed.

“I’ll get a towel and some water.” Brian said, running in the other room.

“Set her on the couch.” Matt instructed to Danny.

Danny set me on the couch, next to Johnny. My heart fluttered. What does he think? Is he mad? I held my breath.

Brian and Matt soon entered, setting the bowl of water down on the table. Matt knelt down in front of me to help.

“Bull shit, guys. I can take care of it.” I took the towel from him and wiped myself up. The cuts will heal soon but the bruises may not. The deepest cut was from her ring on my mouth. It still stung. “I only need someone to pop my shoulder back in.” Crystal and Ali stepped away instantly. The boys just stared at me. “Come on. It’s not that bad! Just a little push!”

“I’ll do it.” Johnny interrupted.

Johnny’s POV

It was just a lame excuse to hold her hand again.

She stood as well as I did and turned away from me. “Just take my hand and push, ok?”

“Y-yeah.” I stuttered. Everyone stood, watching nervously. Some biting their nails. Matt and Danny just glared at me, arms folded across their chests.

“Ok. Now.” Mel breathed. I pushed, a loud popping echoed off the walls and everyone cringed as she muffled a groan. “Thanks Johnny.” She said as I let go of her arm.

“A-any time.” I sat back. Why was I being so stupid?

Ever since we had sex, I can’t talk to her. She’s so great but… I think she hates me…maybe I should talk to her.

“Who wants to play?” Brian pointed to the xbox.

I sat down as Jimmy, Zacky and Ali went to the xbox with Brian. Mel sat down next to me but not as close as I’d hoped. Matt and Danny were talking quietly, glancing at Mel and I from time to time. Did they know…?

I noticed Mel shiver. She’d gotten her shirt a bit wet when she was cleaning up. I took my shirt off, now just wearing my wife-beater, and handed my Vans shirt to her. “Here, take it.” I said quietly.

“Oh, no. I-I couldn’t.” did she just stutter?

“Please?” I mumbled. She looked at me then the shirt and reluctantly takk it. I watched, as well as Matt and Danny, as she took her wet shirt off, replacing it with mine.

“Thanks.” She smiled at me. I nodded, thinking for a minute. I knew what I had to do. Turning to her, I began…

“Mel, we should talk…about 3 nights ago…”

“Yeah, we…-” she turned toward me too but was interrupted by Crystal.

“Mel. Come with me to get chips please.” She begged.

I almost glared at her, deciding not to, and glancing away.

Mel’s POV

I gazed up at Crystal who stood beside the couch. ‘We need to talk.’ She mouthed.

“Uh, Johnny, I’ll be right back.” I told him. Crystal practically dragged me up the stairs.

“Are you gonna forgive him?” she snapped quietly.

“What?” I reached on top of the fridge and grabbed the chip bag.

“When he does talk, will you?”

“Yeah, if he really means it…” I watched as she poured some chips in the bowl.

Danny’s POV

I stood as soon as Mel left and Matt and I made our way over to Johnny.

“What the fuck?” Matt asked. Johnny gave him a questioning look. “Giving her your shirt?”

“She was cold.” He replied.

“Still, what the fuck?” Matt asked.

“What, jealous that she’s not wearing your shirt?” he asked in a voice just above a whisper.

“No. she’s just my friend.” Matt stated. “But right now, I’m wishing it was anyone’s shirt but yours.”

“Yeah. Why the fuck would you fuck her then leave? Not breaking up with Britney?” I snapped, anger rising.

“It…it’s complicated.” Johnny sighed in defeat. “I can’t tell you.”

“Oh, that’s helpful!” I mumbled. He stood, trying to get more level with me though he was so short.

“Dude, look, I’m sorry, ok? Is she really that hurt?” he questioned. That. Was. Is.

Pulling my fist back, I punched him in the face. He fell backwards a bit, landing on the couch. He wiped some blood from his nostril and looked up at me.

No, past me.

…What was he seeing?

Turning, I found Mel standing there, eyes wide, mouth agape.

“Mel, it-it’s not what it looks like. I-” deciding to explain before she got mad, I stuttered.

“Danny-what did you do?” she practically whispered.

“Mel, I really didn’t mean to…I-”

She shook her head, turning to go upstairs. Leana scoffed at me and followed Mel up the stairs.

I turned, glaring at Johnny. I expected him to be grinning. But, surprisingly, he wasn’t. His eyes were sad and sorrowful.

“God damn it!” I fumed, storming up the stairs.