If I Never Hold You

Mel’s POV

It’s been two days since Johnny and I had that talk on the deck. I didn’t think it would be so easy to fall back in love with him. I mean, after all of this I was worried about trusting. The guys are all so happy that we’re together. Even Brian, though he hasn’t talked to me since he explained what he did.

In all honesty, I was shocked that was the reason Johnny dated Brit; a bet!? Why? How had he not seen what I was going through? How had he not known I was in love with him?

I sighed, letting these feelings pass. It was lunch now and I was making my way through the halls; linked with Johnny’s arm. I was tired of getting dismissive glances from Brian; the rest of the group would talk loudly while Brian sat sulking. I bet he figured I was upset with him. I’d decided today I would talk to him.

“Hey lovebirds!” Danny chuckled, waving at us.

“Hey, dorkface.” I stuck out my tongue, “What’s crackalackin?”

Crystal smiled at me, “Not much. Finished my math homework though, you wanna see?”

Throwing my stuff on the floor, I took a seat, “of course. You really think I paid attention to the lesson today?” I’d spent my time passing notes to Johnny.

She giggled, taking out her folder, “No. Do you ever?”

“I don’t even know how you get anything out of her rambling. We all know she’s cracked out most of the time, talking about deep-frying babies.”

“Well, yeah but I read the book…”

Ali sat down now, “Who’s deep-frying babies?”

“Our teacher.”

“Fucked up!” Matt chimed in.

The bell rang as Brian stepped in. He sat down, nodding at Ali. The conversations continued around us but I watched Brian bite at his nail softly.

Johnny nudged me, “you alright?” I nodded, smiling and nodding towards Brian, “Ah.”

“I think we’ll be right back.” I whispered. He nodded sweetly at me, “Hey, Brian?” he looked up at me, shocked, “Can we talk?” He uneasily obliged, taking my hand as we exited the cafeteria. We took a silent walk to the left then rounded to the band room hallway. Some of us band geeks took out the camera months ago so we could go to and from. Of course, this information was never leaked and no one found anything strange. We’d used a key to get in usually but no one would pass through this way any time soon; no one missed pizza day, so we used a wooden wedge to prop open the door.

“I’m sorry.” Brian finally spoke up as we walked to the benches, “I didn’t know what I was thinking when I dared him and-”

“You really think I have a huge problem with this, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah.”

“I did, you’re right. Why hold grudges though, Brian?” I laughed.

He looked at me, “really?”

“Really.”

“Friends?”

“As always.” I smiled, “now, how about we go back inside? Danny told me he had a surprise for the band and it’s super special.”

We re-entered the cafeteria just as Danny complained about us leaving, “There you are! Now I can get to it.”

I kissed Johnny as I sat down, “get on with it, creep.”

He glared at me then continued, “So, I was thinking that we could have you all over and we could record your demo.” It was silent, “For…you know, record labels.”

“We know that, ass hole!” Vee called.

“Well, you guys weren’t saying anything so…”

“We’re all shocked.” Matt stated.

“Well, how about it? Tomorrow?” Danny held his hand out to the lead singer who eagerly took it and they shook.

The rest of the day was honestly boring. Well, until after school.

“Hey, bitch!” I knew it was too good to be true when Brit wasn’t around. Spoke too soon I suppose.

We all looked around, “I don’t get it.” Jimmy spoke when Brit was in my face, “Who’s the bitch?” we paused as her jaw dropped. I bit my lip to stifle the laughter, “Is it you?” he was completely serious too, not even joking. He had that shocked/childish, nervous voice.

“Quiet, you.” Brit snarled.

“Don’t fucking talk to Jimmy like that!” I stepped forward, between her and Jimmy.

“Aw, thanks Mel.” Jimmy held onto my hips, “and yeah, don’t talk to Jimmy like that!” he told Brit.

“What the fuck do you want?” I snapped at her.

“A fight.”

“Fine.” I began taking my earrings out.

“Not here. The street by the park; Klein.” She spoke, “Be there.” Instead, I punched her in the eye. “Ow!” she cried, “that hurt!”

“Go figure.” I snapped. “Now will you be there?”

“Tonight? No. This one’s between our men.” A burly dark skinned football player snaked his arm around her, “Trever, meet, well, everyone.” She giggled stupidly.

“Everyone you hate?” his voice was deep and rapist-like.

“Yep. The ones you’re fighting tonight.”

He laughed at that. “I’m fighting them!?” he spoke as if it were an insult. I gazed back at Matt who gazed right back at me; his muscles pulsing, I could practically feel them from here. “You’re kidding!?”

“No.” she pouted, “you’re still gonna do it, right?”

“Sure.”

“You sure moved on fast, bitch.” I chuckled.

“You shut your mouth.” She snapped, “So, the guys meet at 8. Good?”

“Fine.” Brian snapped.

We all walked away. The guys were going over Brian’s, Danny was going back to his house because he and his dad had some pretty legit baseball seats for tonight’s game. The girls were all going home, which left me worrying about the guys.

“We’ll be fine.” Jimmy reassured me as the others entered Brian’s house. It was already four o’clock when I decided to let it go.

I paced my living room, nervous. Who knew how many guys this Trever freak would bring with him? Who knew if they were all football players?

I decided to get my mind off of it for a bit. I’d make dinner while my parents were driving home. So that’s what I did. I grilled up something great just in time for them to get home.

At dinner, I found my leg to be bouncing and I was gazing at the clock intently. We sat down at six o’clock and now it’s six thirty-seven.

“Sweetie, is something wrong?” dad asked.

“No.” I snapped softly.

“Alright, well are you going to be alright tonight?” mom asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” shit, did they somehow know!? That’s impossible…

“Well, your father and I are going out dancing with friends. Just to a simple bar, nothing special. We’re just gonna be out late; they’re old friends and we want to spend time with them for the first time in a while.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll be back early in the morning. Maybe two?”

“Okay.”

“We’re leaving at 7:35, so we have drive time. Traffic and all.”

I nodded, excsing myself from the table and walking up to my room. I dialed Danny’s number.

“Sup?” he answered.

I sighed into the receiver, “I’m nervous.”

“For?”

“The fight.”

“You’re not it in.”

I sat on my bed, “well, no duh! For Johnny, stupid. I just got him, I don’t want him hurt now…”

Danny turned down the radio, “They’ll be fine.”

“Where are you anyway?”

“We’re driving now. Dad took a late shower, so we’re a little late for the game.”

Another damn look at the clock to find it was 6:58, “Oh.”

There were a few seconds pause, “Mel?”

“Yeah?”

“Stop worrying.” He nearly screamed, “The guys will be fine. Have you seen Matt’s arms!?”

“Matt’s obviously not the one I’m worried about!”

“Haha, enjoy the little make out session with him before?”

“Danny!” I defended.

“What?” He laughed, “You know you did!”

I paused, “I’m with Johnny and he’s with someone else. He’s a good kisser, that’s ALL. I promise.”

“Whatever. Now I’m going to go; we’re almost at the stadium. Call me if you need anything. Tell the guys to be careful for me please.”

“Okay Danny. Love ya.”

He chuckled, “you too sweetie.” We hung up.

I decided to go to Brian’s for a while. It was 7:16 when I left the house. I’d said goodbye to my parents before I left.

“Can I come in?” I asked Zacky when he answered my knock at Brian’s door.

“Of course. We’re just jamming a bit in Brian’s room.” He led me upstairs.

“Okay sweetie.” I giggled when Johnny swung me around in his arms. We arrived in Brian’s room after he set me down.

“Hey girl, hey!” Brian cheered, “nice seeing you here!”

“I know, right?” I sat down, listening to the guys. Brian, Zacky and Johnny were all strumming softly while Jimmy was drumming on his drum pads. I felt the bed dip underneath me and I turned to find Matt.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

He sighed, “you alright?”

“Nervous.”

“Ah, we’ll be good.”

I looked at him, “and what if you’re not?”

He paused, “well…we’ll think about that.”

I sighed and laid back. He followed me, “I just got Johnny…I can’t lose him.”

“You won’t.” he reassured.

“When are we leaving, Sanders?” Jimmy called.

“Uh…7:40.” It was 7:27 now. Fuck.

My heart pounded in fear as the guys continued, feeling nothing I’d imagined. Matt took hold of my shoulder in comfort. I’d heard him speak quietly in a reassuring voice.

Minutes flew by and before I knew it, it was 7:35 and the guys were getting ready. They loosened their studded belts; Johnny pulled out his knife and closed it, placing it in his pocket. Everyone was cracking their backs, loosening up for the fight. The walk from my house to Klein wasn’t far which meant it wasn’t far from Brian’s either. They were leaving early to stake it out and I knew that.

We now stood by my front porch. I said my goodbyes and good lucks to them all but now Johnny and I needed a moment. I knew this shouldn’t be a big deal, just a little fight, but to me, it was near-Apocalyptic.

“Be careful please?”

He laughed, “I will. It’s just some football players.”

“Yeah…” I muttered, “Just some football players…”

“Cheer up, I’ll visit after the fight so you can see I’m alright. Then I’ll go home and everything will be like normal.”

I nodded, “alright.” He embraced me tightly and I fought the tears.

“I love you with all my heart, Melanie, and I’ll be fine.”

“I love you more, Johnny.” We shared a passionate kiss just for it to get interrupted by the guys.

Four different calls of “aww”s were exchanged, at which we just flipped them off.

“Okay. See you later.”

“Yeah, later.”

He kissed me once more and then I had to watch him leave. They waved once more and made their way down my street. Their shadows elongated the farther they went. I watched every step, memorizing the way they walked and worrying…

What if this was they last time I saw them in one piece?