This is Gonna Require a Little Finesse

"Bobby! Watch your fucking language!" I yelled. I realized what I said and panicked: "Shit-o crap- I mean-aurgh!" I gave in and just slapped a hand over my mouth.

Bobby chuckled as Erika giggled. "Really smooth, Legs. That's some nice vocabulary you're teachin' your kid." He 'scolded' as he ruffled Erika’s hair, sending her into another fit of giggles.

My little girl had light brown hair like her father that was soft and feathery as it hung around her angelic face. She had my eyes, ice-blue and my name. Yes, if you rearrange Kari you get Rika we put the E on for Evelyn. She's five years old and wants to be an actress by day and a hockey player for the Red Wings by night. As long as she gets to bring her teddy with her.

Bobby's visiting, he's staying next-door at Evie's old place. But, of course, he can't cook to save his life – literally – and is here mooching food off of me. I don't mind. I haven't seen any of the Mercer boys in five months. Except for Jerry, who drops off the girls so they can watch Erika if I need a babysitter.

"Hey, don't you nag me. You want to eat, don't ya?" I threatened.

"Pssh. I could just go the fu... just go back to Ma's and have some cereal." he countered, taking into mind that we were waiting a few more years before we corrupt poor Erika's mind with various cuss words.

"Then go you pain! Jeez. Uncle Bobby has no manners, huh Erika?" I said smiling at my beautiful daughter.

She smiled, revealing that her top front teeth were missing, "Nope."

Bobby gasped dramatically and started tickling her, "Excuse me? What did you just say?"

Erika shrieked with laughter and tried to scramble out of her Godfathers' embrace. I laughed and disappeared into the kitchen to finish heating up last night’s chicken.

I set the plate down on the table, along with the last beer, on the small dining table. I caught Erika trying to hide a yawn. "Come on. It's time for bed, Tinkerbell."

"Oooo. But Moooommy!!" she whined as crocodile tears sprang to her eyes. A fantastic actress in the making. “I'm not t-ti—tired," another yawn stuttered her sentence.

"How 'bout if I tuck you in?" Bobby asked her. He's a huge softy when it comes to little kids.

She frowned at him and crossed her arms over her tiny chest before glaring back at me. "Hmpf."

Bobby smirked mischievously and rose from his seat. Erika looked up petrified and moved to run to me. But Bobby caught her on her way off of the chair and held her up side down. She laughed and laughed and laughed until her face turned beet red as she and Bobby disappeared up the stairs.

I flopped into a seat thankful for the end of the day and held my head in my hands. I will never understand how you managed to raise four boys on your own, Evelyn. You are a saint.

"You alright, K?" Bobby asked as he took his seat across from me and began eating.

"Huh? O, yeah..." I stared blankly at the table in front of me. "It's just hard, I don't know how Evie handled all of you single-handedly, when I can barely keep up with her on my own!"

Bobby laughed and raised the beer to his lips. "A magician never reveals her tricks, I suppose. Speaking of my brothers: you heard from Angel?"

"Nope. He and Sofi are on their honeymoon, remember?" I grinned.

He returned the grin, "Right, right.”

It was quiet. Well, as quiet as Detroit gets at night. Bobby finished his meal and was left with no excuse not to speak to me. "When was he supposed to be home?"

"Yesterday." I grumbled in monotone. Anger that I had drown within myself suddenly threatened to make its way to the surface. I grabbed Bobby's empty plate and bottle and stalked into the kitchen at an attempt to escape the emotions.

Bobby followed me. "He's coming home." He reassured me.

I sighed, "I know, I know. It's just... I hate it, Bobby. I mean I'm so proud of him... but-" my voice caught and I turned away from Bobby. I started vigorously scrubbing the ceramic plate. "It's just hard when Erika asks me when he'll be home and I have to tell her that I don't know. Or I give her a date and she gets so excited and then he doesn't show."

Bobby rubbed my shoulder; "Want me to slash his tires so he can't leave again?"
I burst out laughing a wiped my nose on the back of my sleeve, not caring it was unhygienic. "No. But thanks for the offer, B." I hugged him on my way to the cabinet to replace the dish.

Bobby put on his serious face, "He does love you. You know that don't you?"

I smiled softly and wrung my hands together. I could only whisper, "I know. It's not enough sometimes, though. You gotta a girlfriend, yet?"

"That subject change was about as subtle as a fucking train coming through this house, Kari." Bobby growled. "...Kinda."

I perked up, "What do you mean 'kinda'!?" a smile stole across my face.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

I blinked into the darkness of our room from our large two-person bed the only held one.

Awake again in the middle of the night? This hasn't happened in a while.

I rolled over and buried my face in his pillow to find comfort. There was none. His scent was gone.

Well... washing pillowcases will do that, Kari, you idiot.

I hugged the pillow nearer as the darkness pressed in on me.

Two days. No calls, no nothing.

I huffed as I rolled my wedding ring between my fingers.

THUMP.

What the hell was that!? My eyes were now open as wide as they could be, trying to absorb as much light as possible so that I could see. I slipped silently from my bed and pulled an oversized SpadesT-shirt over my boxers and sports bra. I brushed my hand along the wall until I found my weapon of choice.

A hockey stick.

I slunk down the hall and poked my head into my daughter’s bedroom. I could just see her head poking out of the mass on stuffed animals around her.

I breathed a sigh of relief and carefully felt my way downstairs. Outside I was dead calm, nothing shaking, barely blinking. Inside I was a wreck, my heart was beating against my ribcage and it was deafening. I couldn't tell if the thumping was in the house or in my ears. It didn't matter, I needed to do a sweep of the house, I had to protect Erika.

Damn-it! It's so dark! I slammed my toe into a small table in the hallway.

"Hm?" Someone's voice traveled from the kitchen. The hall light came on. I blinked against the blinding lights. "...Is that my hockey stick?" a male voice laughed.

My eyes dilated and adjusted to the brightness. The stick dropped to the ground with a clatter and my bare feet padded against the ground as I sprinted the rest of the way down the hall. Jack dropped his bag at his feet and held his arms out.

He stumbled back a little as I threw my arms around him. He gripped me back tightly, hiding his face in my hair. His breath made goose bumps rise on my skin and chills shoot through my body. "Did I ever mention how sexy you looked in my clothes?"

I laughed and kissed his cheek. “Once or twice."

He pouted, "That's all I get? I've been gone for five months and that's it?" He was only joking, but he just opened himself up for a fight.

I crossed my arms over my chest and stepped away from him, "You were supposed to be here two days ago." I pointed out. "No call. Erica cried."

I cried.

"I know. There was a blizzard in New York and they wouldn't let any of the planes go. So Mark and I had to catch a bunch of taxis all the way here." he reasoned. He reached out and put his hands on my shoulders, leaning back to meet my line of sight, "Kari...?"

"You could've called."

"Okay, looking at it now it was a retarded idea but: I just wanted to surprise you and Erika." He brushed his fingers gently down my jaw line.

I was crumbling.

"It was easily your stupidest idea, Jack. And that's saying something! You and your brothers have had a lot of stupid ideas; this tops it." I snapped.

"Kari, why are you being like this?" he asked, suddenly really worried because I was not letting it go.

"Because, Jack. I-I..." My gazed dropped from his green eyes to my feet. "I get worried, anxious, I don't know."

"Why?"

I stepped back until my back hit the doorway, and I leaned against its side. "I just get afraid that you'll..." I couldn't finish. I sounded so suspicious, when I had nothing to be suspicious about except for my own insecurities.

Jack finished my sentence for me, "...find some girl on tour...?" Then he laughed.
"Oh, it's funny, is it?" I growled shoving him away as he stepped forward.

He sighed and forced me to look at him, moving so that he was always in my line of sight. "Do you want me to lie to you? Or tell you the truth?"

A lump formed in my throat and I couldn't get rid of it, my mouth was dry. "Wha..." I searched his eyes in disbelief, What is he trying to say?

"Kari?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. My vision was getting blurry and I tried desperately to blink away the tears.

He took the opportunity to speak, "I don't even notice the girls on the road. I don't hang out with the rest of the guys after the shows when they go to local bars, and I don't drink or anything while I'm out there, either."

I sniffed and looked at him still with blurry vision. "If I told you that, Kari, I'd be lying."

I brought my fists down on his chest. Not hard, just in a frustrated way. He let me for a few minutes, as I swore at him.

Eventually he grabbed my wrists and held me to him even as I struggled to get away. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. How can he do that? He just told me-- and he's holding me!

"Let me go, Jack." I hissed.

He did, but kept his grasp on my wrists. "I'm going to tell you the truth, Kari, whether you'll listen or not. I do go out with the rest of the guys after our shows, and we drink and smoke. I've gotten pretty drunk, too. And how can I not notice the girls? They make it really hard not to notice them."

I struggled against his hold. He was ripping a hole in my chest just with his words. I hated it. I wanted to run, to get away, to hide.

But he wouldn't let go, "But then I remember that none of them know me, Kari. I'm just, 'that guy in that band' to them. And they're just, 'that girl in that mini skirt' to me. They have no idea what shit I've been through and they haven't seen me at my lowest. They don't know a thing about me. I notice them, Kari. But that’s it. I see them, that’s all."

Tears poured from my eyes and my emotions scrambled together. I didn't know how to feel; he'd just taken me from angry, to depressed, to relieved.

Jack wasn't done dragging around my emotions yet, he held my face softly between his large hands and brushed his thumbs back and forth along my cheeks to wipe away the tears. "I don't call because every time I do Erika asks me to come home, and I want to, so badly, and I can't because if I do we won't have a place for me to come back to. And you tell me how much you miss me and love me, and I want to be home in bed with you and I can't. I love you, and I'm always coming back here. That's the truth."

He placed his forehead against mine and left it there, watching me, waiting for me to say something. I took a deep breath, and it hit me. His scent. I missed it so much: the cigarettes, the sweet sweat, and the small amount of cologne he uses.

The memories this simple thing brought back are like a kick to the stomach and I can't help but gasp aloud as blood pumps through my body. Some how Jack must have felt it too.

Either way, my emotions have managed to be thrown into love and lust, as our lips crash together. Jacks hands drop quickly from my face to my butt and he lifts me onto the counter, standing between my legs. He pulls my hips to his and my hands are holding the back of his neck so that his lips can't escape mine. Our tongues touch and it sends an electric shock through my body that restarts the world after a five-month hiatus.

Jack manages to disentangle his lips from mine and starts placing blazing kisses down my neck while using his thumb to draw lazy circles high up on the inside of my thigh, "Did I mention that the main reason I come home is because of the amazing 'I Missed You' sex?" he whispered, his lips brushing against my ear.

I giggled, and moved to take off his shirt.

We both froze as something moved upstairs. I had his shirt about half way up his chest and his hands had disappeared under my shirt, I can only imagine how comical we looked, frozen, wide eyed and staring at the empty doorway.

The stairs started to creak and I let Jacks shirt fall back against his skin, reluctantly. He drew back his hand, making sure his fingertips tickled my skin and kissed me swiftly on the lips, "Later?"

"Later."
He started heading off to the base of the stairs and I followed close behind him.

He put on a huge goofy grin as he looked up the stairs. I smiled too, knowing what was coming.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, Tinkerbell!" he called.

Erika flew down the stairs and leaped into his chest, kissing her father on the cheek. "Mommy and I missed you soooooo much!"

"I missed you both soooooo much, too." he mimicked her.

"Are you gonna stay for a while?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes. Now let's get you back to bed, it’s late." he shifted her weight on his hip and began walking up the stairs.

"Hey, Daddy?" she asked as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Hm?"

"I love you.,” she whispered as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

"I love you, too."