Berling Meadows

I reached up and grabbed three plates from the top of the shelf. Then I carried the small load towards the table and started to set them out for dinner. As I put my own plate in its proper spot, I sat down and mum came over with a plate of sausages and a bottle of tomato sauce. While dad followed with a loaf of bread, butter and a hand filled with the utensils. We helped ourselves with dinner and Mum started to talk about her day at the hospital.
“And his whole hand had to be resewn back on; it was a terrible sight I tell you. He didn’t even have a proper cloth or bandage for the blood, just his shirt wrapped around his handless wrist; as he wore it!” She said as she took another bite of her meal.
“Honey, maybe you can talk about that later, but your making me lose my appetite at the moment dear.” Dad said with a twisted face.
“I’m sorry dear. So Kayani how was school today?” Mum asked as she turned to look at me. I swallowed the food in my mouth and decided that I should just ask them. Prove to myself that all of this worrying had no point whatsoever.
“It was good actually; I’m starting to make some friends. And we’re also studying genetics in science this semester.” I said trying to sound really casual. “And it’s really interesting; apparently if a child can curl their tongue it’s guaranteed that they’re parents can as well.” I said and finished by demonstrating what I meant. So I curled my tongue just to emphasize what I meant. When I looked up again, mum and dad were looking at each other with somewhat worried expressions. Now I was starting to get worried myself.
“Can you do it too?” I prodded, but they didn’t look at me. “Mum, Dad?” And they turned and looked at me with still worried expressions. Dad suddenly let out a gust of air he was holding in.
“Kayani, we uh; I guess it’s about time you found out, but it doesn’t change anything okay? Remember that.” He said as he glanced at mum as if he was checking to see if he should go on with whatever he was going to say. But I had a fairly good idea on what was likely about to leave his mouth.
“You see honey, your mother and I can’t curl our tongues... We adopted you when you were only a toddler.” He said as he looked deep into my eyes. I sat there for a while just sitting, staring, thinking and absorbing what I had just been told. Suddenly the room was going fuzzy and I had the strangest feeling come over me. I was losing my vision, and I could feel the heat rolling off my face.
“Kayani for the love of God Breath!” Mum suddenly yelled in a very worried tone. Oh! I sucked a deep lungful of air but suddenly choked on the food that was still in my mouth. I was coughing and spluttering all over the table so I turned myself to sit side on from the table to stop that. I could now feel dad’s rough hand hitting my back; Mum came over with a glass of water from the kitchen and handed it to me. I continued to cough a bit more and drank the water down greedily. Once the water was gone I slammed the glass on the table.
“Adopted!?” I half yelled breathless. It was one thing to actually suspect you’re adopted, but it was something completely different to actually hearing your so called parents confirm that suspicion. I was starting to really hate the idea of bringing such a topic up at dinner.
“Honey, it’s okay, we always have, and always will love you. Now that you know the truth, it still doesn’t change our view on you, though you may see us differently now. Please understand that just because your adopted, doesn’t mean that you’re unwanted okay?” My, my mum said? No, it just doesn’t feel right calling her that anymore.

I looked up at both of them and really saw the differences between them and myself for the first time and understood why it was that way.
“Kayani, are you okay?” My....dad asked me. I nodded weakly.
“I just need some time, that’s all.” I said and walked off to my room, and sat myself down on the beanbag on my balcony. I watched the sun set for the very first time over the sea from a height of 14 storeys, and it was absolutely beautiful. I sat there on the balcony for five hours. Just wondering and thinking. Where are my real parents? Why did they abandon me? Who am I really? The more I sat on the balcony, and the more I thought about why. The more tear soaked my shirt became, and the sorer my cheeks became after every time I used the back of my hand to swat away the dreaded moisture. As I sat, the darkness of night overcame me without notice, and my tearful gazes started to turn into quiet sobs. And that’s how I fell asleep that night. Crying, wondering, and feeling out of place for the first time in my life.

When I awoke that morning, I felt horrible. My tears had dried up as I slept, which made my eye lashes stick together, and I felt extremely groggy. I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to rid the sticky feeling, it worked to some degree. I opened my eyes and felt disoriented as I looked out over the sea. I then remembered that I didn’t go back into my room last night for bed, but I merely fell asleep on the balcony. I was grateful that I wasn’t in Perth at this moment, other wise I would have been freezing cold last night. So I was grateful for the warm summer breeze the ocean gave. I stumbled my way back into my room and got myself ready for school. When I looked in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, I got annoyed that my eyes were rather red and puffy from the tears shed last night. I washed my face with cold water and made my way back to the kitchen for breakfast. Dad... ugh, yeah, Dad had left for work and there was a note on the fridge explaining that ...Mum had to leave for work early this morning for an emergency. No wonder they didn’t come to wake me this morning. I grabbed my key on the way out the door and slammed it a bit too hard. I arrived again to school with about fifteen minutes to spare before the first bell sounded. And I certainly didn’t feel like seeing Luke and his friends yet because I was sure my eyes were still a bit red and puffy. So I sat on my own under a deserted tree near the front of the school instead. But the effort was wasted when I remembered I had math first up. Luke’s in my math class. I sighed as I got up when the bell rang, and headed for class with my head down the whole way.

I walked into my math classroom and Luke was already waiting for me up at the back tables. As I walked over he smiled up at me in greeting, but his smile fell as soon as he looked at me. I just rolled my eyes in response, because I simply hated people feeling sympathetic towards me. I collapsed into my chair with a sigh and unpacked my things for class.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked me in a concerned voice.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, trying my best to sound perfectly fine. Though I don’t think he bought it because his face just twisted into concern. And yet again I just rolled my eyes, trying to brush off the topic. And I supposed he sensed I didn’t want to talk about it because he just sighed and started to unpack his stuff ready for class as well. After about forty minutes into class, Luke started to talk again, considering the teacher had stopped and left us with a sheet of work to do instead.
“Hey, are you doing anything this weekend?” He asked with hope.
“Umm not anything special, why?” I asked suspiciously.
“Well, I was wondering if you might want to go down to the beach on Saturday because all of my friends are invited and your apart of them... So are you in?” He asked hopefully, and I was truly happy to be considered as one of his friends.
“Sure, why not, so what time are we all meeting at the beach, and what part of the beach exactly?” I asked.
“Well, we’re just going down the beach at the front of the apartments, I’ll just come by your door at around eleven on Saturday morning because – “ I suddenly cut him off short.
“Wait, you know where I live?” I asked incredulously.
“Well, yeah, you’re just the floor below me, and my dad knows about everyone who moves in and –“ I cut him off again.
“AND you live on the top floor, your family owns the Aquarius apartment building?” I questioned him.
“Well yeah, I thought you knew, well that’s strange, oh well.” He simply brushed it off and continued talking. I was honestly hoping there weren’t anymore big surprises waiting around the corner for me. I was well and truly over this place with all of its unexpected ways.
“Kayani, Kayani!” Luke said as he waved his hand in my face. I blinked and looked at him blankly.
“I’m sorry, you were saying?” I asked, embarrassed with myself for becoming a brick wall. He sighed and continued what he was saying.
“I’ll come by your apartment door on my way out at around twelve, and we’ll walk down to meet the others at our spot on the beach. We’ll be eating fish and chips for lunch, so it would be nice if you brought about five dollars or so to contribute. And we’ll head off home around nine that night, Tyson bought sparklers and we’ll be having some fun in the moonlight.” He said, and I could see the pure excitement in his eyes.
“Sure, sounds like fun,” I said, and I truly meant it. Now that I had my mind locked on a different topic that involved less dramatic events, my mood rapidly went to a high. The bell sounded for next class, we both had science again so we walked to class together, but soon parted our own ways. Science was uneventful and Billy was still determined to take dominance over the Bunsen burner. It must be a male thing. I looked around at the classroom and let my eyes float over people and objects alike. I was bored and was looking for something interesting to hold my attention. Then my eyes hovered over the substitute teacher and I was suddenly engulfed by rage and fury. My mood changed so swiftly that I was left panting in rage, utter surprise and confusion. As suddenly as the emotions engulfed me, I understood in an instant later why those emotions overcame me. That woman standing at the front of the class was the very reason why I spent five hours last night contemplating my whole life in agony and disbelief. Even though I didn’t even know this woman, I felt compelled to kill this woman standing before me. The rage, fury and utter anger were consuming me, and the hate was taking control of my mind. I wanted to kill her for the misery she caused me. She locked eyes with me suddenly and it felt as if my rage was fuelled by the fright she suddenly expressed in her eyes. I don’t know what she saw in me at that precise second, but I felt the strong compelling emotion to kill her in that instant for her so called fun fact the other day. I spit the words in fury. I looked at her with hatred so strong I could feel the burn in my chest rising to the surface. As I looked at her with hate, she returned my gaze with fear, but suddenly her expression changed in an instant from fear to intense pain. Everything around me turned to slow motion and I saw every micro fibre in the room floating as one. I could see the energy of the people around me. The energy in the floor and ceiling. There was so much energy, I never saw the world in this prospect before, everything seemed to resemble silver. Shining that sparkled brighter the more energy present. Then in an instant, the woman standing before me collapsed onto the floor, but for some reason, I knew it was going to happen. I wasn’t at all surprised by the sudden movement she made, nor the loud thud her head made as it hit the hard science lab tiles. I saw the people rush forward towards her to assist help. While others remained in their seats too stunned to move yet. Then as quick as a flying bullet, everything snapped back into actual reality and I gasped at the sudden change in speed. The transition from slow to normal felt like the speed of light and I was left gasping for air.

I suddenly felt like my real self once again, and not some shell of hate, fury and pure rage; I was my real self. That was the exact second when I realised that I had just killed a perfectly innocent person for something they didn’t even know they inflicted. I felt like a criminal, but what’s worse, I know I killed her, but I don’t know how. I was scared of myself, of what I had just done. Scared didn’t sum it up, I was terrified; the thought left me shaking and gasping for air. I suddenly heard Billy yelling something out to the class from where he stood beside the collapsed teacher.
“She’s Dead!?” he screamed in terror, but I already knew that. What’s happening to me?! I screamed to myself mentally as I gripped my long black hair in my clenched fists and yanked. I don’t know why I pulled on my hair, but perhaps I thought the harder I pulled the less real this would seem. And each time I pulled harder than the last, hoping that I will soon wake from this horrid nightmare that has evaded my peace. I tried to look around the classroom for an exit, but to my surprise I couldn’t see due to the traitor tears streaming down my cheeks. I wiped them away with trembling hands and continued to hyperventilate in my seat, the commotion around the classroom was absolutely insane. The noise level had reached past exuberantly loud, there were girls screaming at the sight of a dead body, people shouting cheers to the end of the class, then the odd few shouting their lungs in a fail attempt to get everyone to quiet down. I was officially panicked and terrified, but for some reason I was extremely exhausted and was now having difficulty keeping my eyes open. ’I have to stay awake’ I chanted over and over again in my mind, but, I don’t remember why I have to stay awake. Sleep, yes, sleep never hurt anyone.

I let my eyes droop close and gave in to the sleep that was dragging me into a black void of nothingness. But then I heard a voice talking to me.
”Kayani, don’t give in to the sleep, fight against it. You must” The voice purred to me. I sighed in content to the sound of the stranger’s voice, so calming and peaceful. I opened my eyes to a squint and found that my head was now resting on the desk in front of me. ”Strange, I don’t remember how I...” I yawned and forgot everything as a dark mist took over my mind. Everything I saw was fading away from a bright coloured movie, to a dull black and white horror film. Then it was just black. And the last thing I remember was feeling a rough hand grab my shoulder, and a flow of words that could have possibly been profanities. But I couldn’t remember anything as my mind entered the cold gates of unconsciousness.