Break Myself

Natalia walked into the skybox, looking around for Marty. When she realized she had beat him there, she walked to the edge, looking out onto the ice. She smiled to herself, looking down at all of the fans that were waiting for the players to come out for their pre-game skate.

She sat down in the chair, scooting it up, making sure she could still see the ice. She heard footsteps come from behind her, and she turned around, a smile on her face, figuring that it was Marty.

“Hey, how did I beat you here?” she asked him, turning her head around. Her eyes went wide as she realized it wasn’t Marty standing there. “Wh-what are you doing here?” she stuttered, the familiar eyes staring into hers.

“I heard you were getting your life back together,” the man said. “Now, we couldn’t have that, could we? I mean, especially after your boyfriend died for you. And, this is how you repay him? By completely forgetting him and getting together with someone else?”

“That’s not how it is,” Natalia argued.

“That’s exactly how it is,” the man yelled. “And, I’m not going to let you have this perfect life.” He turned around to look at the doorway, yelling, “Bring him in!”

Natalia looked at him, confused, before turning her attention to the doorway. She saw Marty being dragged inside by two other familiar men. How had they gotten to him?

“Let him go,” Natalia pleaded. “Please! He didn’t do anything to you!”

“No, he didn’t, but you thought you could just have this happy life, didn’t you?” the man asked, pulling something out from behind him. “Well, that’s not going to happen.”

Natalia’s eyes went wide, and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe when she realized the man had a gun in his hands, and he was pointing it towards Marty. “No!” Natalia screamed at the top of her lungs.

“No! Don’t! He didn’t do anything!” Natalia yelled, her whole body moving underneath’s Marty’s grasp. They had fallen asleep while watching the movie the previous night, with Natalia in Marty’s arms.

“Natalia,” Marty called, sitting up and bringing her to a sitting position at the same time. He knew she was having a nightmare, and she needed to be woken up. “Natalia,” he called again, as her body continued to thrash all about. He gently put his hands on her shoulders, trying to wake her up. “Natalia,” he repeated once again.

“No!” she yelled once again, her eyes suddenly opening, while her body continued to violently flail around. Tears began streaming down her face, as she slowly began to realize where she was. She looked back at Marty, and she suddenly engulfed him in a huge hug.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, putting his arms around her. He looked through her tears and saw a scared little girl.

“I…I thought…they killed you…Marty, I thought I lost you,” she cried in between her sobs.

“Nat, I don’t understand,” Marty said, trying to comprehend her broken sentences. “Start from the beginning.”

“They…they were back. They didn’t want me to be happy. So, they were going to…Marty…” she cried, the tears still streaming.

“They?” Marty asked, trying to understand. “Natalia who are they?”

“The people that captured me in Afghanistan,” she explained. “They were back. They were in the skybox. And, I was waiting on you. And, then they came in. And, their leader said that he didn’t want me to be happy, so he was going to kill you,” she finally explained. “Marty, I was going to lose you.”

“Shh,” Marty said soothingly, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “You’re not going to lose me. I’m right here. It was just a nightmare,” he told her.

“Marty, it felt so real,” she told him.

“Have you ever had nightmares before?” he asked, wondering if they were occurring because of her post traumatic stress disorder.

Natalia shook her head. “Not like this,” she said. “Marty, it felt so real,” she repeated.

“Natalia, I promise, you’re not going to lose me. Those guys aren’t here, and they’re not going to do anything to me or you. I promise.”

Natalia finally seemed to calm down, and she leaned over, giving Marty a kiss. “Thank you so much,” she told him.

“Thank you?” he questioned. “For what?”

“For putting up with me and my craziness,” she told him. “I don’t know why you do it, but thank you.”

“You’re not crazy,” Marty told her. “But, I do think you need to tell your psychiatrist about this nightmare.”

“I will,” she promised him, laying her head back down on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you go back to sleep?” he asked her, and she nodded her head in response. “I’ll be right here for you.”

****

Natalia heard her name being called, and she felt Marty give her hand a reassuring squeeze. She smiled at him before walking back towards her therapist’s office.

“Hello, Natalia,” Dr. Winters said, walking into the room.

“Hi, Dr. Winters,” Natalia said with a small smile.

“So,” Dr. Winters began, sitting down in the seat across from Natalia. “How have you been since our last visit?” she asked, grabbing a pen off of her desk, and opening up Natalia’s file.

“Um, I’ve been okay,” Natalia said slowly.

“Okay?” Dr. Winters asked. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, after my last visit, my father and I got into an argument.”

“What about?” Dr. Winters asked.

“He didn’t like the idea that I was dating Marty. He thinks that this is just a rebound relationship after Tristan,” Natalia explained. It still shocked her that she was now able to say Tristan’s name without having tears streaming down her face. It had taken her a long time to be able to do that, but she seemed to be just fine now. “But, the worst part was that he was more concerned for Marty than me.”

“And, how did that make you feel?” Dr. Winters asked.

“Like my dad didn’t care about me. He cares more about Marty than me, and that upset me.”

“Have you talked to him since that argument?”

“No, I haven’t,” Natalia admitted.

They continued talking about her relationship with her father some more before Dr. Winters changed subjects. “And, how has your relationship with Marty been affected by this?”

“We’ve seemed to have gotten closer. Marty didn’t let what my father say affect how he feels about me, and I haven’t let it affect the way I feel about him,” she said with a smile. “But…” she trailed off, thinking about the nightmare she had had two nights ago.

“But what?” Dr. Winters asked.

“I had a nightmare a couple of nights ago,” Natalia began.

“A nightmare?” Dr. Winters asked.

“Yes,” Natalia said, nodding her head. “About my captors.”

“Please, tell me about it,” Dr. Winters told her. Natalia proceeded to tell her all about the nightmare, and what had happened when she had woken up. “Okay, well, we’ll work through all of this,” Dr. Winters told her with a kind smile.