The Words We Forget to Say

This chapter is in Jessica's point of view.

I sat at the edge of the built in couch, staring at the floor, a rampage of thoughts racing around in my mind and overwhelming me.

What to do, what to do?

It was horrible; feeling guilty for leaving Kyle, feeling ashamed of liking Alex just a tad too much, and being in such a shit mood around poor Jack.

Jack...

Yesterday, Sierra's words really made me think about him, what we were... my feelings towards him.

Jack was the greatest friend a person could ask for, there was no doubt in that statement. He was always there for me, he always supported me, he always offered me advice, he made me laugh, he brightened my mood... he was the only person who was able to comfort me when nobody else could.

Never, at any time, did Kyle or Alex make me feel the way Jack does.
They made me feel in love, special, infatuated... but it was never that timeless feel-good, I-Can-Accomplish-Anything kind of feeling that Jack brought on me.....
He brought out the best of me, if anything else.

The more I thought about it, the more the thoughts in my head became clear and organized.

I needed Jack, that was a fact that I couldn't deny.
Jack needed me, I knew all too well.

He and I fit together like and ancient puzzle, snugly fit side by side.
He knows me, he cares about me, he...
he loves me.

I fought back the tears as I realized that my best friend was never really my best friend... he was a lover, so much more.

I was blind to his desperate attempts to make me know... to notice.
But now I see.

It's a shame it took me so long to figure it out.

"Hey Jess."

I turned my head slowly to see Alex walking apprehensively in my direction.
I nodded curtly," Hi."

He stood in front of me and pointed a long finger at the empty spot next to me," Mind if I sit down?"

I shrugged nonchalantly," Go ahead."

We stayed there, sitting in a comfortable silence, for what seemed like a lifetime, until he finally spoke.
"I'm sorry."

I didn't respond.

"I was an idiot. I had absolutely no right to ask you to cheat on Kyle like that, much less beg you in the pathetic way I did. I was.. am, a jerk. I do like you but I know you don't like me so that's okay and I'm fine with that and I think I'd really like to be just friends."

His words exited his lips in a heated rush, tripping over his words now and then.

I sighed softly.
" Alex, I barely know you. I'll admit... I thought I had some feelings for you too. But I think it was just an excuse to find someone that just wasn't like.. Kyle."

"You never did seem happy with him," he commented.

"He's a sweet guy," I said sadly," But he's just not for me. I'm sure he'll find someone esle better... someone who actually deserves him."

"We all have someone thats destined to be our 'one'. I'm positive that you both willo find that person some day."

I turned to him and smiled lightly," Thanks."
"And hopefully Casey will realize that she's not your 'one'."

He chuckled softly," I have my fingers crossed."
He smiled and closed his eyes, reopening them seconds after," So, am I forgiven?"

I laughed, " Of course Alex. Are we cool... friends?"

He grinned in response," You bet."

He leaned in close and tried to wrap his arms around me, but wasn't doing too well due to our close proximity.

I laughed as he finally managed to lock his arms around me, pecking me on the cheek," Thanks Jess, Love ya."

I was just about to respond when I got cut off before I could even begin," Alex, how could you?!"

Alex immediately stood up, gawking at Casey with frantic, wild eyes; she stood angrily with her hands on her hips.

Casey's baby blue eyes had a menacing look in them," You fucking dipshit. Cheating on me with her?"

Alex grimaced and I whispered quickly," Just do it, it's your only chance."
He glanced at me and nodded.

"Fuck off Casey, I'm sick of you. It's not like you don't go sticking your tongue down other guys throats behind my back. Besides, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. She's jusr a friend. So lay the fuck off."

Her nostrils flared and when she spoke again she almost growled," You. are. A. Fucking. Douche."
She turned to me," And your the bitch whore groupie."

She snatched her over-stuffed duffell bag from the bathroom and stormed out of the bus.

She looked back one last time at Alex and sneering at him, giving him the finger," Fuck you, Alex Gaskarth."

Once she left I looked up at Alex, who was smiling ear to ear," You did it!"

He closed his eyes and nodded," Thanks to you Jess... Thank you."

He laughed heartily, his voice full of happiness," Im gonna go tell the rest of the guys."
He ran out of the bus at full speed and I laughed.

I couldn't have been any happier for him.
And for one thing, I didn't feel as guilty knowing that I had turned him down.
Because now he was free, he could look for his "one".
And I wish him the best of luck.

I owed him that much.

He was part of my long, difficult journey that aided me in my realization as to who my heart laid within, who was meant for me....

I've found my one.