The Words We Forget to Say

I let my fingers intertwine with Jack's as we sat on the soft white sand of the beach; not being able to tear our eyes away from the rapidly setting sun, a comfortable silence in the air.

Warped Tour had finally come to a conclusion.
The chaos, the denial, the temptation, the hesitation, the heartache, and the guilt.
It had all ended at last, but those memories would always remain close to my heart and always within reach.

I think it's just so amazing, just so incredible, the amount of things that you can experience in the time span of only a summer and how you can actually realize so much under the unforgiving sun, alongside your friends.

It was hard to take it in, but a month had already passed by and we were already nearing the end of September.
The Maryland leaves had me at hello; their vibrant colors shuffling slowly to the ground to create a soft blanket of beauty.

I don't think anything I've ever seen or done could top last summer, though.
Nothing.

Not any party, not any vacation, any reunion... anything.

That summer was something special: It had taught me such a valuable and priceless lesson... one that I'll never, ever forget.

That memorable journey had its downs, yes, but it was worthwhile all the same.
There was no doubt that those two months would always stay with me.
Every single second.

I tore my gaze from the disappearing sun and glanced at Jack, who was also watching the sunset with pensive eyes and attentiveness similar to my own.

He turned his attention to me, smiling softly once our eyes met.

A smile tugged on my lips as well and I smiled shyly in return.

I turned my gaze back to the sun and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply.

I can't believe that my long journey had all come to this: Me and Jack together.

It was almost unbelievable, unfathomable, the fact that I had spent so long searching for that one person, that one guy... the one.
I was so blind.

I learned a great deal during those days of searching, a lesson that will forever stay with me and be saved for future use.

I was too lost in my own world, trying to find the right guy, that I never really opened my eyes to what was in front of me.

I had spent so many years, so much wasted time, ignorantly looking past the things that really mattered and purposely trying to make things into a hurricane of chaos.

I'm really the only one to blame.

It's sad, it really is, to know that in order for me to realize who I truly belonged with, I had to hurt so many people in the process.

I thought back to Kyle and the guilt flooded back, making me flinch involuntarily and bringing a tear to my eye.

He's a scarred heart; one that's never going to be healed fully.
And I was the sole reason why.

There really is nothing that can help him heal except time, and I'm waiting for the day when he'll come to terms with what happened and the fact that we can still be friends no matter our hectic past.

But until then, I would have to live with my mistakes and suffer the sure consequences that always would accompany them.

There was only one thing I knew I was going to do that was absolutely set in stone: And that was to enjoy the simple beauty that my brand-new eyes now saw.

I was too caught up in trying to make life complex and interesting that I had never had time to realize all the simple things that truly made me happy.

Like Jack.
Exactly like Jack.

I know now to always look at things simply and with logic, instead of with shaded intentions and complexity.

It's the tested and proved method to true happiness.
I know.

It's cliche, yes, but I agree that these words could never be truer:
"You will never know that true love is standing in front of you until you've hurt other people and resort to the truth."

The truth for some people hurt, for some it was shocking, or it stung to realize it.

But guess what?
My truth was that Jack was mine.

And the truth could never be sweeter.

I would never make all those mistakes again.

"Jack," I called softly, looking at him with happy eyes.

He rolled his head to face me and nodded," Yeah?"

I smiled and leaned in to press lips against his, the words slipping out with ease.
They were words that I've forgotten to say for long.
"I love you."

"I love you too."

This is love.
And love is real.

Here's to the fast times, the times we felt alive.