This Empty Love

The next day, Oliver and I left for the airport in separate cars, checked in at different locations, and, without a goodbye, set off to our designated terminals. I sat alone and anxious, waiting for my 9am flight to Seattle, Washington. Oliver’s plane had already taken off. It left at 8:15am for Manchester.

My flight was a mere three hours, while his was a good eleven. No matter what kind of fight we were in, I was still worried about him. If something went wrong, I could only blame myself.

“American Airlines flight 314 to Seattle, Washington, now boarding first class and rows one through threee.”

I took a deep breath and stood up, making my way towards the tunnel entrance of the plane. The flight attendant scanned my ticket and let me through. I absolutely hate flying alone.

For the next three hours, I sat in my spacious first class seat next to a lady who pretended I wasn’t there. Maybe it was my few tattoos in contrast to my horrible appearance that made her refrain from talking to me. Either way, I was consumed in my thoughts, all revolving around Oliver.

My wedding ring, as usual, was still on my finger. I couldn’t take it off. And what Oliver didn’t realize I noticed, was the fact he slipped his on before leaving the house with his luggage. But, for all I know, he wants to throw it into the Atlantic ocean as he passes by.

I spun the silver band around my finger a few times, studying the small heart tattoo on the inner right side of my finger, one that Oliver also had. Even if he threw his wedding band into the ocean, he’d still have our engagement tattoo embedded into his skin.

“Flying to see your husband?” The lady asked, finally decided to talk to me. I glanced over at her, studying the purple glasses she had positioned on her nose.

I shook my head. “No, I’m flying out to see my sister.” I replied and stopped messing with my ring. The lady smiled.

“So away from your husband then?” She asked, invading my personal business. “It’s not a terrible thing, distance does make your heart grow fonder, you know.”

Forcing a smile, I nodded at her and looked out the window and to the cloud. I could only pray that she was right.

“Please fasten your seatbelts, we are now preparing to descend into Seattle, Washington.”

&&

“Please fasten your seatbelts, we are now preparing to descend into Manchester, Lancashire.”

I did as I was instructed and hooked the belt back together, continuing to ignore the old man next to me. He couldn’t seem to shut up about his perfect marriage, which was coming up on it’s 52nd wedding anniversary.

“Well, this is it.” The man sad, his voice proud. “Maybe I’ll catch you on your flight back, have a nice visit.”

I hope not. Feigning a smile, I exited the plane as soon as they allowed me to. With my carry on slung over my shoulder, I made my way to the baggage claim. My small suitcase was already visible, so I grabbed it and walked towards the area my family would most likely be waiting.

“Oliver!” I heard my mum’s call all the way across the large room.

Placing a pathetic smile on my face, I walked over to her, dropping my bag gently so she could pull me into a much needed hug. “Oli it’s so good to see yeh.” She mumbled, squeezing me.

“I missed yeh Mum.” I replied, hugging my mother back. She pulled away, giving me enough time to greet my dad. “Dad, yeh alright?”

“O’course,” He mumbled, glancing at my mum. “I mean, I could do without a two hour car trip with your mother’s gossip magazines, but I lived.”

Before I could protest, my dad grabbed my suitcase and started to lead me out to the car. I felt like a kid again, instead of twenty four. But I couldn’t help it. At this moment in my life, I was more than a bit weak, and my parents were the best thing for me.

“Tom’s in town too.” My mum informed me. “He got himself a place with Mattie Nichols, all grown up, both of yeh. It’s just a realization of how old I am!”

&&

My sister was late. I had been waiting in the airport for a good thirty minutes before she decided to make her entrance.

“Taylor, damn, I’m so sorry. Lost track of time and Anna was sick so I had to get Jason to stay home and, damn Tay, you look like shit.” Ashley rambled, approaching me. She pulled me into a small hug.

“What’s wrong? Your call last night didn’t reveal much.” She asked, grabbing my carry on and leading me out of the airport.

“Marriage issues.” I mumbled, staring down at the ground. My voice was almost a whisper. “Please don’t say I told you so.”

Ashley stopped dead in her tracks, turning to face me. “Taylor, I would never.” She spat. Noticing her harshness, she calmed her voice down. “Just because I disagreed with your marriage to Oliver doesn’t mean I’d tell you I told you so. I mean, come on, I haven’t seen you since the Christmas after your wedding, it’s been a year and a half, I wouldn’t say the one thing to make you disconnect from me again.”

I nodded, feeling like we were teenagers again. Ashley and I used to have a great relationship, one that was rare for teenage siblings. And then Oliver and I got serious, and she thought I was stupid. She didn’t think that he was good for me. Convinced that our marriage would go up in flames, she always gave me hell for falling in love with him, ruining our friendship.

I got into her tan SUV, my suitcase going in back. There was an awkward silence for a while, the radio being the only noise inside the car.

“So you want to talk about it?” Ash asked, eyes focused on the road. She had moved since the last time I visited her.

“Not yet, can we just catch up first? I’ve really missed you. How’s Anna? Jason?” I asked. I wanted to avoid all conversation of my marriage as long as possible.

&&

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked, glancing around the street. “I mean, haven’t your heard the rumor that the couples who get tattoos together don’t last?”

Oliver laughed, shaking his head and pushing me into the tattoo shop. The walls were painted with designs and colors, the sound of tattoo guns filling my ears.

“That’s only true if we get our names tattooed.” Oliver told me, wrapping his arms around me from behind while we waited. “Because all three tattoos yeh have, I’ve been there when yeh got them. If we were set for disaster, it would have already happened.”

“You’re sure?” I asked. In reality, I was just covering up the fact I was nervous about getting the tattoo. I always got this way before I got one. But of course, Oliver was there to hold my hand.

“This is goin’ to be tiny anyways.” He pointed out, nuzzling his head into my neck. His lips kissed my skin quickly. “The guardian angel on your shoulder is beast compared to this.”

He was right, like usual. In total, I had three tattoos. All of which I got while Oli was by my side. The angel on my shoulder, flowers on my side, and a matching LOL tattoo inside my lip that I got with Curtis. Yet here I was freaking out about a tiny heart I was getting on my ring finger.

It was my idea. Oliver purposed to me last week, and at the moment I work at a bakery, which doesn’t allow me to wear my ring. So I decided we should get matching tattoos. Oliver picked the heart.

“We can actually tattoo both of you at once, it’ll only be five minutes tops for both combined.” The artist said, leading us to a corner of the shop. Oliver pulled me down into his lap while the two different artists pulled up chair in front of us.

“Ready?” They asked after the stencil was placed and ready. Of course, we nodded, and three minutes later bright red hearts rested on the inner right side of our fingers.

“I love yeh.” Oliver whispered in my ear as we left the shop. He kissed me, stopping me before I could get into the car. “I love yeh, I love yeh, I love yeh.”

Giggling, I kissed him back, slipping my ring onto my sore finger. “I love you too.” I told him, letting him hold me for a while longer. We were young, in love, slightly naïve, and I would have it no other way.