This Empty Love

Edging back on the couch let me move away from Oliver’s soft lips. “What - what was that?“ My voice was shaky, and there was no way to hide it.

Oliver shrugged and flung himself over the back of the couch, and landed on the cushions next to me. He tilted his body in my direction, a smirk adorning his face. “I believe that is called a kiss, Taylor.”

“Don’t be an ass, you know I meant.” I snapped, scooting even farther away from him. My butt was now against the arm of the couch and I’d either have to get up to move away, or I’d have to kick Oliver backwards. “Why did you kiss me?”

“Yeh could hardly call that a kiss.” Oliver said, avoiding my question.

He leaned his body towards me, one hand going to the arm of the couch, trapping me between him and the cushions. My plan about getting away, or kicking him, suddenly flew out of the window. I couldn’t think with him this close to me.

Still edging closer, Oliver was now smiling and not just smirking. “I could change that though, if yeh wanted.” He added, his voice calm.

“I - well I don’t -” My mind was currently not connected to my mouth. Words wouldn’t form properly and it was revealing how nervous I was. This just seemed to fuel his ego.

“Is that a no?” Oliver asked, beginning to lean over me as he propped himself up. He was now closer than ever, “Or is it a yes?”

I opened my mouth to talk but shut it instantly, not sure what to say. Chewing on my lip out of nervousness, an odd feeling came over me and I nodded. Oliver smiled, actually smiled, and his eyes seemed to spark. I’ve never seen this side of him, and I was surprised I was the one to bring out this foreign look.

He took his time inching even closer, as if worried I might hit him at any second and run off. Finally, he was close enough for me to feel his breath on my lips and I began to feel anxious. What was this going to be like?

My eyes closed tightly once his lips brushed against mine. They were surprisingly soft and warm, almost inviting despite his lip piercings. When he pulled away, I let my eyes flicker open to connect with his.

“Was that alright?” He asked quietly, nervously, still only centimeters away from me.

Without responding, I leaned myself forward and reattached our lips, slightly craving his touch.

&&

Leaning back, Dr. Owens studied us. “So you both admit your relationship started off a little unconventional?” Owens asked. In a way, he sounded slightly amused by the story I had just finished telling.

Glancing over at Oliver, I nodded and watched as he did the same. Owens poised his pen above the paper and wrote something. I would like nothing more than to take the notepad from him and see exactly what he was writing about Oliver and I.

“Well I need you two to try something new.” Owens started to say, folding his hands in his lap. “No more staying in different places, no more avoiding each other. The two of you need to communicate to get over things. What I want, is for you both to live in the same house - not the same room if that’s uncomfortable - and I want you to make effort to spend time together away from the house, understand?”

Looking at Oliver nervously, I didn’t respond right away. What if I agreed and he didn’t?

“Sounds alright to me,” Oliver said, his voice turning low, “I guess.”

“Yeah, sure.” Was all I managed. I was trying to keep my need for Oliver on the down low, because obviously, his need for me was still declining.

“Good, good.” Owens soothed, standing up to shake Oliver and my hand. “Next session, we get a little more personal, alright?”

&&

“What do yeh suppose we do?” Oliver asked once we had arrived home from therapy. He was talking about the doctor telling us to try and spend more time together. “If yeh even want to, that is.” Maybe he was hoping I'd decide against going.

Standing in the door way of the guest room, I watch Oliver switch out which vans he was wearing. “Anything suits me really.” I replied, honestly not caring as long as I got to be with him.

“Well the guys were thinking of setting up a show tonight, like a preview to the tour in a few months…” Oliver trailed off. That was his way of asking a question, instead of directly asking if I wanted to go or not.

“That's fine with me, as long as they don't mind me around.” I assured him, stepping backwards and walking down the hall to my room.

It was honestly amazing how calm we were being with ourselves. For once, we were acting like acquaintances instead of sworn enemies.

Inside my closet was an assortment of all types of clothes. I had everything from fancy to frumpy, glam to goth, current fashion to 80s. But my personal favorite was the assortment of jeans and baseball tees I owned.

I switched out my kaki shorts for a pair of worn jeans before discarding my current shirt to look for another. I now stood in front of the closet, skin broken out in goose bumps, in only my bra.

“Taylor, yeh ready? We could go a bit early if you - woah.” Oliver cut himself short after he, obviously, peaked into the room as I decided to change out the bra I was wearing. It’s not like he’s never seen it all before, but it has been a month or more. Despite catching me changing, Oliver didn’t bother to leave or look away.

Ignoring his eyes on my chest as I replaced my purple bra with a peach, laced decorated one. “Black, or blue?” I asked, motioning to the baseball tees in my closet and meaning for him to pick which color of sleeves.

“Er, black.” Oliver replied, eyes still scanning me up and down, having no shame in the way he ogled over me.

I knew why, too. During the past two months of our failing relationship, I’d taken my anger out in the gym, creating the body I’d never had in the past seven years of knowing Oliver. And the fact that my boobs managed to look great in this bra didn’t help any.

“Ready?” I asked, grabbing a bag out of my shoulder and turning to face Oliver. He changed the expression on his face quickly and nodded, grabbing my keys from the dresser.