For You To Notice

You know that anxious feeling you always seem to get when you're about to see something for the first time? The feeling where your stomach is going to explode from the butterflies fluttering around? You begin worrying about all the possibilities of what could happen, or what you were about to witness in front of you. You begin thinking about the negative effects that could come out of this meeting, that you don't even think about the positive outcomes. You're so caught up with the pessimistic thoughts, that you don't realize that you're worrying and fretting over absolutely nothing.

Or that's what you hope happens.

That was basically everything that was going through my mind as I watched Erika read 'Braydens' secret admirer letter. I couldn't think of anything optimistic at all, I couldn't bring my mind away from the horrible thoughts I was imagining.

The thoughts that Erika would just start bursting out in hysterics and throwing the letter away. In which throwing the letter out, she would not even give her secret admirer a chance of approval, or a chance of a lifetime to meet someone who was actually a decent guy.

But shouldn't I be happy with that thought? Shouldn't I be jumping up and down with enjoyment of her declining the offer Brayden was so gracious to give to her?

I knew it was wrong to think that, especially since Brayden and I are best friends.

I was brought out of the battle inside my thoughts when I heard a quiet sniffle from across from me. I looked up and saw that Erika had big fat tears rolling down her cheeks, and she had a tissue pressed up against her red nose. "Rhiannon, you have to tell me who wrote this for me."

I stared in horror at the sight in front of me. The horrid thoughts I had about her rejecting Brayden were absolutely ridiculous. Erika actually wanted to see who wrote the letter for her, she wanted to give Brayden a chance. And I had to make the arrangements for this special evening between them. Talk about being torn... "Erika, I promised him I wouldn't mention his name..."

"Rhiannon, I swear to fucking God if you don't tell me, I will cut off your fingers and toes and your boobs." I rolled my eyes as the tears she once had seconds before were now fully dry on her cheeks. Her eyes weren't even watering anymore, talk about being a drama queen.

"Erika, I promised him I wouldn't mention his name. But I promised him I would make a date between you two. Why don't you meet your secret admirer tomorrow at Applebee's at eight o'clock? I'll let him know the specifics as well." I gave her a reassuring look and watched as her face lit up with excitement.

"Thank you so much Rhiannon! I now know why you're my only girl best friend." I felt her hug me tightly before walking out my back door.

Picking up my cellphone I decided to text Brayden the specifics about Erika's and I's meeting, and when their date was. Even though my hands were shaking, and I felt my eyes build up with threatening tears, I press sent and let out a loud sigh.

Hold your head up, heavy heart.