The Times We Felt Alive

It was four days later, and Madeline was driving in her car, directions in hand, with Ava in the back seat. Alex had called her the previous day asking to see Ava again, and this time invited them to his house. Not that Madeline was the type to pass judgement, but she wasn’t quite sure what to expect - Alex told her he shared the house with his drummer, and she could only imagine what the household of two twenty-year-old musicians might look like.

Madeline pulled up the driveway to a handsome grey two-story house. She parked her car, got Ava from her car seat, and approached the front of the house, ringing the doorbell. She only stood there for about ten seconds when the door opened to reveal the same guy who she’d talked to on the bus on the morning after her and Alex had gotten together.

“Hi, Madeline,” said Rian and smiled, revealing his magnificent teeth. “I don’t know if you remember me or not, I’m Rian.”

Madeline returned the smile. “It’s nice to see you again, Rian.”

“Well, come on in.” He opened the door wider and stepped back. Madeline walked inside the foyer of the house and was a little bit surprised. As she took off her and Ava’s jackets, she observed the house - the walls were painted a pale yellow and the floor was dark hardwood. From what she could see of the rest of the spacious house, it was furnished quite nicely and was essentially clutter-free.

“Here, let me take those for you,” Rian said and hung up their coats in the closet next to where Madeline stood.

“Thanks.”

“She’s beautiful, by the way,” said Rian, looking at Ava with a smile. “I can see what Alex was talking about.”

Madeline smiled and chuckled. “Thank you. You can hold her, if you’d like.”

“Sure,” said Rian, and Madeline handed over her daughter. Rian seemed to take to Ava much quicker - at least, he didn’t look as nervous. Maybe he was more practiced with babies, Madeline thought.

“Alex is just upstairs getting dressed,” said Rian. “He’ll be down in a minute. We can go to the living room in the meantime.”

Madeline followed Rian into the living room and sat herself down on the black leather couch, facing a large plasma TV on the wall. They chatted for a few minutes while Rian made silly faces at Ava, until they heard footsteps bounding down the staircase.

“Here comes Alex,” chuckled Rian. Sure enough, a few seconds later, a happy looking Alex came into the room.

“Hi Madeline,” he said, and went straight to Rian, who passed Ava to him.

“Hey, you!” said Alex. Ava giggled.

Madeline smiled. “Hey, Alex.”

Rian stood up. “Well, I’m gonna go check my crap on the computer. I’ll see you guys later.”

Madeline and Alex talked while Alex busied himself with Ava.

After a while, Madeline asked, “Hey Alex, where’s your bathroom?”

“Go through the kitchen into the hallway, and it’s the first door on your left,” said Alex.

She nodded. “Okay, thanks.”

As Madeline walked through the kitchen, she saw Rian sitting at the table with his MacBook. He looked up and she smiled.

“Hey, Madeline?” he called once she’d already walked passed him.

She turned around. “Yep?”

“Um, this Saturday we’re having a birthday party for Alex,” said Rian. “It’s for his twenty-first, so it’s a pretty big deal…”

Madeline’s face remained blank, not sure where Rian was going with this.

“Anyways, I know he really wants to get to know you, and I think it would mean a lot to Alex if you came,” finished Rian.

Madeline paused, not liking the idea at all, but not wanting to seem rude. “Well, I’ll have to make sure I can find someone to look after Ava for the night, so I’ll get back to you in the next couple days, alright?”

Rian smiled. “Sure, that’s fine. Did you want my number?”

“Yeah, I’d better get it.” Madeline pulled out her phone and handed it to Rian, who added himself in the contacts.

“Well, I’ll see you then, hopefully,” said Rian.

Madeline tried her best to smile. “Yeah, hopefully.”

---------- x ----------

Later that night, Madeline was on the phone with her friend Trevor. Other than Lilly, he was her best friend - the two were almost tied. Trevor was gay (but not annoyingly flamboyant), and probably the sweetest guy Madeline had ever met.

“So, what have you been up to in the last few days?” asked Trevor.

“Not much, really,” answered Madeline. “I took Ava to Alex’s today…”

Trevor gasped. “Holy shit, really?! How did it go?”

“It went well,” she said. “He seems to really like her.”

“That’s good,” said Trevor. “Glad to hear it, sweetie.”

“Oh, and his drummer who he lives with invited me to Alex’s birthday party on Saturday.”

Again, Trevor gasped. “What’d you say?!”

Madeline sighed. “I bullshitted and said I’d get back to him because I’d need to see if I could get a babysitter for Ava.”

“Lies, you know you could easily get one of us or your mom to watch her.”

“I know.”

“So why don’t you want to go?”

“Trevor, refresh my memory as to what happened the last time I partied with Alex Gaskarth please - I don’t remember.”

“Madeline,” sighed Trevor, “You two were young and immature! And, given what happened last time, I’m sure both of you will be more cautious in avoiding that.”

This made Madeline laugh. “Trevor, it was like, a year and a half ago. I’m hardly any more mature than I was.”

“Madds, you have a kid. I’d say you must be a lot more mature.”

She groaned. “I don’t know, Trev. It’s his twenty-first birthday - it’s probably going to be nuts.”

“Don’t drink, then,” suggested Trevor. “You were always the more reserved party-goer anyway.”

This was true - half the time when Madeline and Lilly went to parties, Madeline was the one who only had a couple drinks throughout the night in attempt to spare her friend from getting into too much trouble.

“I’m still skeptical about this whole thing,” sighed Madeline. “I just don’t have a good feeling.”

“Oh, just go,” urged Trevor. “You haven’t done anything for yourself in forever, Madeline. You deserve to let loose for one night. If you really feel you can’t handle it, you could always leave.”

“I’ve got a child, Trevor,” said Madeline with a smile. “I’m not supposed to do anything for myself. I’ve got responsibilities.”

“Just because you’re a mother doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have fun,” argued Trevor. “Lilly and I will come over on Saturday night to watch Ava while you go to the party.”

Madeline sighed. “Fine, Trevor, I’ll go.”

“Excellent,” said Trevor happily. “I’ll talk to you later, doll.”

“Bye, Trevor.”

After Madeline hung up from Trevor, she scrolled down her contacts list until she found Rian’s number. Sighing, she pressed the ‘call’ button and listened to it ring.

“Hello?” asked a voice on the other end.

“Hi Rian, it’s Madeline.”

“Oh, hey!” said Rian. “What’s up?”

“Not much, how about you?”

“Out getting Alex’s birthday present, actually.”

“That’s why I called,” said Madeline. “I’ve got a babysitter for Ava on Saturday night, so I’m good to go to the party.”

“Sweet!” said Rian. “There isn’t really a time - around seven or eight, whenever. And it’s at our place, of course.”

“Alright,” said Madeline. “What sort of thing should I get for him?”

“Oh, nothing big,” said Rian. “I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t kill you from getting him anything at all, no matter how small it is… But his favourite bands are Blink 182 and New Found Glory, so anything along those lines and you’re golden.”

Madeline nodded, although Rian obviously couldn’t see her. “Okay, that sounds easy enough,” she said.

“Yeah, it should be,” said Rian. “I’ll see you on Saturday then!” He sounded quite happy.

Madeline sighed. “See you then.”