Never Again

It was dark in the apartment. Beneath the tangled blankets and comforters I lay still, breathing shakily into the pillows. It had been six long, painful hours since the episode on the viewing deck of the Empire State. It was in the early hours of the morning, the sky a deep, rich black and the stars were veiled by the thick curtains that hung in the bedroom.

The door creaked open and heavy feet padded across the hardwood floor. They stopped directly next to the bed and I could hear their light, regular breathing. The person cleared their throat and the bed sank with extra weight. The person perched on the end of the bed, a large hand with a gentle touch running across my exposed back. “Rose,” breathed Kellan, “you can’t hide in here forever.”

“Yes I can,” I mumbled my argument into the soft texture of the pillow. “Joe’s gone, Kellan. He’s given up.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted him to do, Ro?” He asked me quietly, ceasing his hand movements. It brushed against my lower back and I shook my head.

“I don’t know what I want anymore, Kellan. I’m so confused.”

“Maybe you should start at the beginning?” He prompted me, pushing my side lightly. I turned, giving him more room on the bed. Quickly, he climbed on, resting his lean body on top of the cover I was buried beneath. I rested my head in the crook of his arm.

I shook my head adamantly. “I don’t think I can. Besides, what good would it do? He’s gone back to her. To Taylor. I don’t know, Kellan. I thought that maybe I’d forgive him. One day… that everything would be alright.” I felt the tears begin to glisten in my eyes. “…but that day won’t come, will it?”

“No,” agreed Kellan slowly. “Not if you hide in here like you are. Rose, Joe Jonas is just a guy. Sure, he’s plastered on every teen’s wall from here to London but, Ro? He’s only human. He’s an idiot by nature.” He ruffled my hair fondly. “Just like I am.”

We lay together in silence for a few more moments, basking in the gentle atmosphere. Kellan had took to stroking my arm. It wasn’t romantic, more of a gentle, sibling gesture. It showed that he cared for me. And suddenly, with a strange ferocity in my voice, I pushed Kellan away. “Move it,” I barked.

Perplexed, Kellan looked down at me. “Sorry?”

“Move,” I repeated, pushing him away. I wasn’t shouting at him, just trying to get used to the sudden clarity in my thoughts. “I need to get up.”

Kellan bolted up from the bed, staring at me with an unreadable look present on his face. His dark eyes twinkled. And, fishing through his jeans’ pockets, he threw me a pair of keys. “Go get your man.”

I laughed, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I leapt out of the bed, ran across the room and charged down the stairs before suddenly feeling very sheepish. Quietly, I hurried back up the stairs and stood in the doorway of Kellan’s bedroom.

“About that…” I drawled, staring at my old, tattered pink Teddybear pyjamas.

“Second drawer down,” was all Kellan said, before kissing my forehead and leaving the room. Once the drawer was shut, I stared at my reflection in the mirror.

“Let’s go salvage our what’s left of our friendship, Jonas.” I whispered.

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After a brief call to Nick and a ten minute conversation with Kevin, the two brothers told me all that they knew: a flight had been charged to Joe’s credit card. The only details on the statement was that it was EWR airport and that it left in approximately three hours. Knowing that my only hope would be to haul a death cab, I waited on the side of the Upper East and waved my arms wildly in the air. As the cab swerved to the side, I got in, barked the destination and threw a $50 bill at his face. “Triple if you get me there in under an hour.”

The cabbie nodded and took off, zooming in and out of the streets. The New York City lights glittered at me, and as we neared the bridge, I checked the time on my phone repeatedly, worry gnawing at me. It was so sudden, so spontaneous. It screamed Joe and Rose. Screw Taylor and their dream wedding. Screw Charlotte’s warning.

As the car pulled up outside New Jersey’s airport, I threw the money at him and clambered out, hollering a hurried thank you. Once inside, I pulled my jeans up (I hadn’t thought to grab a belt) and rushed forward, glancing around for any sight of Joseph Adam Jonas. Knowing that I couldn’t very well shout his name, I scanned the airport entrance. “Damn it,” I muttered, pulling out my phone. I hit last call and heard the dialling of Kevin’s number.

“Rose?”

“Kev, seriously. I’m here. Where would Joe go?”

“What-? I don’t know, Rose. This is Joe. He could be going to Finland for all I know.”

“Kevin!” I screeched, “I need to know before he does anything more stupid. Like marrying Taylor in Vegas! …you don’t think he’s in Vegas, do you?”

“Rose, calm down,” Kevin soothed me quietly. “Everything will be fine. Have you tried calling him?”

“No,” I admitted. “I don’t have his new number.”

“Hold on two seconds, I’ll call him.” I heard Kevin fumble with something and then a loud, high-pitched ring tone squealed down the line. “Uh, he left his phone here.”

“Idiot,” I muttered, “Not you, Kev. Him. Ugh. What do I do? I can’t buy a ticket to every flight here.”

Kevin remained silent. “I don’t know, Rose. I’m sorry. Look, I’ll ask Rob, see if he knows anything. I’ll call you in a little while.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Dejected, I walked up to one of the ticket desks. “Hi, I don’t suppose you’ve happened to see a guy walked around, like, yay high, curly brown hair, tanned, sorta famous? Goes by the name of Joe Jonas?”

The woman looked at me and rolled her eyes. “Yes.”

I breathed a great sigh of relief. “Thank God. Can you tell-”

“Aren’t you his ex-fiancé? They told me you were weird. So you’re stalking him now?”

“What? No. No, I’m not stalking him. I just have to talk to him.”

She rolled her eyes for a second time. “Nice try, honey.”

I glowered at her, wanting nothing more than to smack her. I was snapped out of my reverie however by my phone ringing. I checked the caller: Kevin.

“Hello-”

“He’s gone to LA. LAX to be specific. He hasn’t booked a return flight. That’s all I know. Flight leaves in fifteen minutes. The next one is in an hour and I already booked you a ticket.”

I couldn’t stop the gratitude from washing over me. “Kevin, thank you.”

“Just… do what you have to do. He’s not been the same Joe, Rose. I think you need to sort things out. I don’t know what, but I know you do.”

I nodded and thanked him before ending the call. Kevin had always looked out for me. And now…

I was going to LA.