Baby, You Are the Weapon I Choose

The realization of my feeling for Christine had turned my whole demeanor sour after the game. I knew Christine had noticed the change in me, but she didn’t comment or ask. Instead, she chatted merrily about the game. The Phillies had won, which, despite the fact that I didn’t support them, was to nobody’s surprise. I just nodded and agreed at the right parts when she stopped to take a breath, not really paying attention as I drove back to my house. What was I going to do? I thought about all of Kevin’s warnings from before. He had warned me this would happen, that I would fall for her, and end up hurting us both. Why hadn’t I listened to him? I would kill her father as Kevin had had to kill Danielle. It was obligation. I couldn’t turn away from it now that Kevin had deserted us. I had to uphold the family responsibilities. I had no choice, right? I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I pulled into my driveway. What was I going to do?

“Thanks,” she said quietly as we walked into the house.

Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “What?” I asked, confused. What were we talking about?

“For taking me to my first baseball game,” she smiled, setting my heart fluttering. “I had a lot of fun.”

I smiled too. “I’m glad.” My phone buzzed. It was another text from my dad. Call me when you’re done. I sighed, remembering the reason we were here in the first place. We sat down on the couch in the living room so that we were facing each other. My arm was resting out on the top so that the tips of my fingers touched her skin. “I’m glad you came here with me,” I said quietly.

“Me too,” she smiled.

“Figured me out yet?” I laughed.

She laughed too, the sound of it making my stomach flip. “I’m still working on it,” she admitted.

“And what have you deduced already, Professor?” I asked, smirking. It was so easy to get lost in her, so easy to forget myself.

“You’re a really sweet guy,” she said. I grinned. “And you have such deep brown eyes.” Her voice was low, uncertain. She reached out and touched my face softly. I closed my eyes at her touch for a second before opening them to look at her. “Looking into them, it’s like I can’t find a way out.”

I smiled at her, leaning in closer. “What else?” I asked quietly, still moving closer.

She moved towards me too. “You make me smile when I’m sleeping, and when I’m not paying attention. You have a way of becoming so a part of everything. And you made me fall hard.”

I leaned in, and touched her lips with my own softly. It was perfect. It was everything I had hoped it would be. I wrapped my arms around her as her fingers wound their way into my hair. I knew I would regret this later, I knew I would feel the pain of this moment tomorrow but right now, and I didn’t care. I loved her, and right now, she was mine.

---

“Everything went smoothly?” my dad asked as I came into the kitchen when we came home. I had dropped Christine off, but not before kissing her again. I felt the effect of the kiss linger on me. I sat down across from him at the table. My mom brought over a plate of spaghetti, which was what we were apparently having tonight.

“Yes,” I answered him. “I ran into Mandy, and helped her with her assignment as well.”

“Yes, her mother called,” he nodded approvingly. “You know, you and Mandy were always good together.”

I groaned at this comment. He was always trying to set me up with Mandy. Us breaking up was the worst day of his life. He thought we were the perfect couple, a couple of assassins carrying on our family names. Maybe that was why Mandy and I could never work. Though I loved her as a friend, she was everything I hated in myself. “Yes well that ship has already sailed,” I told him.

He sighed, shaking his head. “If you were smarter--,” he started.

“I’d be with Mandy,” I interjected. “Yeah, I know. Too bad I’m not.”

Nick looked at me questioningly. I knew he, if no one else, would hear the strain in my tone. I shook my head at him to quiet any questions right now. We ate in silence and I excused myself quickly, feigning jet lag. I just needed to be alone right now. These past few days with Christine, though I had been there on assignment, had been the best days of my life. I wondered how many more days I had left with her. I sighed, not knowing what to do or think. I needed to talk to someone, but I couldn’t talk to Christine about this, and Nick was out of the question. I could not show weakness to him. I was his older brother, I had responsibilities. I sighed, knowing what I had to do. I called the only person who could help me.

“Hello?” his familiar voice rang in my ears.

“Hey Kev,” I said.

“Joe?” he asked, startled. I knew he was probably wondering why I was calling him. “Nick already told me about the photoshoot tomorrow.”

I sighed. A photoshoot for Seventeen Magazine, our other life personas and obligations, I had completely forgotten till now. “No, that’s not why I’m calling,” I said.

“Then what is it?” he asked.

“I-I need to talk to you,” I stammered.

His tone was understanding when he spoke. “Come over,” he said. “We can talk privately here.”

“Okay bye,” I sighed and hung up. I ran a hand through my hair. I really hoped this helped.