Two Heads Are Better Than One

Two Heads are Better then One
Part 2

Slowly the reindeer appeared one by one in their pens and the ceiling platform came down with the sled perched upon it. This was the way all new Santa's entered. Voltaire stood by Bernard as other elves watched his entrance. Finally it came to a full halt and the elves in charge of the sled went to go take care of it. Scott got off and started asking for the person in charge.

"That's means you," said Voltaire and she gave Bernard a little shove in the direction of Santa and where he was talking to an elf.

"Who's causing all the trouble here?" he asked walking up with his hands on his hips. Voltaire next to him.

"He is."

"She is."

They had to reply at the same time.

"Excuse me, are we on a coffee break?" asked Bernard to the elf.

"We don't drink coffee," she replied.

"Then I guess the break is over, back to work. Thanks" he said. She rolled her eyes and went back to work.

"Hey take is easy on her. Who are you two?" asked Scott staring at them.

"Voltaire."

"And I'm Bernard, nice to meet you Santa," and he started walking away with Voltaire at his side.

"I am not Santa!" he exclaimed and started mumbling about dogs and kayaks while following after the two elves that were walking towards the kitchens.

"Let me guess, the other Santa disappeared right?" asked Bernard and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I know where this is going. It wasn't my fault, the guy fell it was an accident. I have homeowner's insurance and a good attorney, not as good as my wives, but let's not open up that wound," Scott began to ramble on some more. The two elves continued to walk till, Scott had a realization and grabbed them by the shoulders making them stop and turn around. "How did you know the other guy was gone?" he scrutinized.

"Can I get you a drink?" Voltaire asked when she felt Bernard tap her on the back.

"Wha- no I don't want a drink," he said shocked.

"I'm thirsty, and hungry too!" came a voice down the hall. Everyone looked and saw Scott's son, Charlie, walking up.

"Charlie I thought I told you to stay in the sleigh," said Scott looking down to his son.

"Who's this?" asked Bernard. Voltaire looked incredulously at Bernard for not remembering what she had told him not long beforehand.

"This is my son Charlie. Charlie this is Vo-Vol-Vold-" he started.

"Voltaire."

"And Ba-Ber-"

"Bernard."

"Voltaire and Bernard," Scott repeated.

"Hi Voltaire, hi Bernard," he said holding his hand out. Voltaire shook and nodded to him.

"Hiya sport," said Bernard leaning down and shaking his hand after Voltaire did.

"Hey dad he called me sport just like you," said Charlie in surprise.

"Wonderful," replied Scott with an all too sarcastic tone.

"Hey, I have something for you," started Bernard. Scott just rolled his eyes and stared pacing around in a bored fashion, "okay now hold out your hand and be very careful. This is very old, almost as old as I am." Bernard placed the snow globe into Charlie's outstretched hand while Voltaire watched Scott to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, like go into the ball room.

"Shake it up, Charlie," said Bernard and Voltaire watched the two again.

"Whoa!" was he could say as he watched the snow fall onto the Christmas scene.

"Why don't you hold onto it for me for a while. It might come in handy," said Bernard with a happy look on his face that someone appreciates his gift.

"Thanks. Thanks a lot. I promise I'll take real good care of it."

"Make sure you do."

"I will. Hey dad look!" Charlie turned to show his dad the snow globe and Bernard turned to Voltaire and gave her a pleading look as he listened to Scott's remark of : 'Hey those fall'. Voltaire gave him a pat on the shoulder and they turned to face Scott as he walked over to the two.

"Hey Barabus-" he started.

"Where did you get that from?" Voltaire said, not being able to contain herself.

"It's Bernard," said Bernard already getting some attitude laced in his words.

"Bernard, can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver first?" Scott asked.

"Oh Larry, take Charlie here and get him some of those cookies I just made and some hot chocolate," said Voltaire to a passing elf. He nodded and Charlie smiled and followed after him.

"No Larry don't do that, Charlie!" started Scott but the ever impatient Bernard beckoned him.

"Follow me if you want to get out of those clothes," he said and started to walk away and Voltaire waited for Scott to come follow along as well.

"Look Barnaby, I just want to go home," said Scott chasing after him. He was already inside the main workshop area waiting.

"Word from the wise, his name is Bernard," said Voltaire to Scott as they followed after the head elf.

"Right, Bernard. Say why is your boyfriend so uptight?" Scott asked walking next to Voltaire.

"He isn't my boyfriend, Santa." Was her only reply before they met up with Bernard again.

"Look I am not Santa Claus," he said and began to stare at the workshop.

"Did you or did you not read the card?" asked Bernard.

"Yea," replied Scott as he took off his jacket and continued to look around while following Bernard.

"Then you're the new Santa. In putting on the hat and Jacket you accepted the contract," said Bernard as he grabbed a cookie on a dish nearby.

"What contract?"

"That card in the Santa suit, you said you read it. So when you put on the suit you fell subject to the Santa Clause, here," and he handed out one of my large chocolate-chip cookies.

"Santa Claus? He fell off my roof."

"No not Santa Claus the person, Santa Clause, the Clause."

"What?"

"Try talking business," whispered Voltaire into Bernard's ear. He nodded and turned to Scott again.

"Look, you're a business man right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, a clause, as in the last line of a contract." A pause. "You got the card?"

"Oh here." He handed it to Scott and Bernard held it under a magnifying glass for him to see.

"In putting on the suit and entering the sleigh the wearer waives any and all rights to any previous identity, real or implied, and fully accepts the duties and responsibilities of Santa Claus in perpetuity until such time the wearer becomes unable to do so," Scott takes the card, " by either accident or design," finishes Bernard with the entire thing memorized.

"What does that mean?!"

"It means, you put on the suit, you're the big guy," sighed Bernard and begins to walk away again.

"This is ridiculous. I didn't put on the suit just to-" Scott started, but went to far.

"TRY TO UNDERSTAND THIS!" Bernard yelled, causing the elves to 'oo' at the conversation and Voltaire to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down a bit, please," said Voltaire. Bernard took a deep breath and then started to pull Scott along by his sleeve.

"Let me explain something here. Toys have to be delivered. I'm not going to do that, it's not my job. I'm just an elf. It's Santa's job, but Santa fell off a roof, your roof. You read the card, you put on the suit. That clearly falls under the Santa Clause. Now you're Santa, okay?!" Bernard said getting upset again. Voltaire just stood there next to him incase he needed back up.

"A question," said Scott looking back and forth between the two elves in front of him.

"What?" snapped Bernard.

"When can I get out of here?" Scott said.

"Dad, you got to see this place," said Charlie running up. Voltaire was thankful he didn't see Bernard's scene. Bernard sighed, and Voltaire decided to step in.

"You leave tomorrow morning. You will have eleven months to get your affairs in order and you're due back here Thanksgiving," she said crossing her arms.

"I'm not coming back here on Thanksgiving," said Scott.

"We'll ship the list to your house," replied Bernard through clenched teeth.

"What list?" said Scott.

"Come on, now. The list," said Bernard really not wanting anyone to break into song, especially not himself. Scott pressed on for an explanation. Bernard hesitated and Voltaire but a hand on his chest to stop him.

"He's making a list," she sang.

"Checking it twice," filled in Charlie.

"Going to find out who's naughty or nice," chorused the elves.

"Ugh, okay, you put a 'P' next to the kids who are nice and a 'C' next to the naughty ones," said Bernard.

" 'P' and 'C'?" questioned Scott.

"Yeah! 'P' for present and 'C' for coal. Right?" said Charlie looking up at Bernard with hopeful eyes. Voltaire noticed and smiled, this boy looked up to Bernard.

"Yeah, that's right," said Bernard and he turned and stared to walk away again.

"Wait a minute, how do I know who's good and who's bad," questioned Scott some more.

"You'll know," said Bernard getting really tired.

"What if I don’t want to do this?" Not the thing to say to a grumpy elf. Bernard immediately rounded on him and Voltaire gave Scott a stern look.

"Don't even kid about a thing like that!" said an angry Bernard.

"Why not? What if I don't buy into this Santa Claus thing? What is I choose not to believe it?" he said whimsically. Bernard looked very disappointed and Voltaire put an arm around his shoulder and he put and hand on her waist for support. The whole workshop went silent and all the elves turned to watch.

"Then there will be millions of disappointed children around the world. You see, children hold the spirit of Christmas within their hearts. You wouldn't want to be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas, now would you, Santa?" Bernard then turned and started to walk away again, "Judy will take you to your room. Get out of the suit, it needs to be cleaned."

"And taken in," was the sarcastic comment of the new Santa.

"Then get some sleep. We've got a lot of work to do and only a year in which to do it." And with that Bernard disappeared down a hallway. Santa sighed and turned to look at Voltaire who was still standing there.

"So what do you do around here?" he asked turning to her.

"I'm the Head Chef," she said without emotion.

"Oh come on, do you hate me too?" he asked walking over to her.

"As of right now, yes, because as best friend to Bernard, I have to go calm him down. No wonder your wife left you and your son doesn’t like spending time with you," she said turning to leave.

"Hold it!" Scott said grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around, "what would you know about my marriage and my son. Anyway, it's not my fault your boyfriend is so uptight, maybe you should remove the Christmas cheer that has been shoved up his ass all his life."

"No, I'd rather leave it there, because it's that Christmas cheer that will keep Christmas going, so when we get new Santa screw-ups like you, the holiday won't be gone forever. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go see to my friend and you have more elves to piss off. Judy don’t take anything he says to heart," said Voltaire and she left after nodding good bye to Judy and Charlie who just came by on the train.