The Laws of Man and Nature

Being back in L.A was like a heaven sent gift. My parents wanted all the time they could get with Lily which resulted in them babysitting and Nick and I sleeping the morning hours away in my old bedroom at my parents house while they took Lily out. Nick’s family were currently staying at the Jonas L.A pad, the band were back together after a five month break and were preparing for tour in three days.

Normally I would be so happy that Nick was going on tour, he loves it so much, but now we had a child… I need support and he wouldn’t be there to give me it. Living out of a bus with a two month old baby is not acceptable or practical. I’d have to survive alone, without my husband for long periods of time.

I finally woke up from my coma like sleep. Nick’s arm was still around my waist and his head on top of mine as he held me from behind. I pick up his hand and gently stroked it with my thumb and carefully twisted his wedding band around his finger. He shifted slightly in bed and I knew he was awake, he was a very still sleeper.

“You awake?” I whispered bringing his hand up to my lips and kissing it. He took control of his hand and caressed the side of my face.

His finger ran over a small bump on my face, “Is that a spot?” He said quite smug.

I batted his hand away from my face self consciously then rubbed the small spot myself. “Oh shut it.” I snapped jokingly.

I turned around in his arms and smiled at his sleepy face, he smiled back at me and passionately kissed my lips. I smiled against them and then kissed him. “Where’s our little baby at?” He asked me rolling out of bed.

“Missing her?” I grinned and climbed out of bed, adjusting my shorts that were wedged between my ass cheeks. He pulled on a shirt then nodded. “How are you going to survive on tour?”

He chuckled, “With great difficulty.” I nodded at him and scurried out of my old bedroom. The house was silent making me assume that they were out with her. “Let’s get some food.”

Nick grabbed his diabetes meter and a blood strip and carried it downstairs with him as we headed to the kitchen. I began to whip up some omelettes for us as best as I could. “Nick do you want cheese or ham or what?” I asked him.

“I’ll have both. I’ll do it though.”

We always seemed like a proper married couple whenever we cooked together, he’d do the easy bits while I slave over a hot stove. He’d eat the food he was making then I slap his hands though he continues to anyway. This was always one of the funnier ways to spend time with Nick, he had good banter and it meant we could get food and spend time together.

As I placed the omelettes on their plates I noticed Nick was scribbling in one of his many song book note books. I placed the plate in front of him with some cutlery. I sat next to him and peered at his book recognising a song he had been working on for a while now. He’d got the epic music down for it but had been working on the lyrics for a few weeks.

I can take your problems away with a nod and a wave of my hand, cos’ that’s just the kind of guy that I am.

The only thing I haven’t done yet is die and it’s me and my plus one at the afterlife.

Crowds are won and lost and won again but all our hearts beat for the diehards.

“That’s really good.” I smiled and scooped some egg into my mouth.

Nick smiled back and copied my action, “Thanks.”

Suddenly, a door swung over and a herd of three young boys and my father ran into the house shouting. Nick and I both stared into the living room as they ran past, not even pausing to stop. “Thanks for the help boys!” Mum called soon after.

She came into the kitchen carrying Lily on her hip and her baby bag dangling over her shoulder. “There’s my little girl.”

I sighed as Nick got to her before I did so I cleared away the plates and tidied the tops. “Nick, what are we doing today?”

He sat Lily on the table in front of him and smiled at her, making funny faces which she attempted to copy. “Um, I have a meeting with the record label and then I’m on Ellen.”

I nodded and scurried out the kitchen, “You’re okay to look after Lily while I go get dressed?”

He shook his head at me with a smile then turned his attention back to his little girl. I jumped up the stairs and into my bedroom. My suitcase sat in the corner, open with clothes pouring over the side. I pulled out a small floral skirt and a white vest and slipped them on. I accessorised it with some black beads and a wire like bracelet then put some pear drop earrings in.

I chose a large brown leather bag for all of the Lily gear then hurried downstairs so Nick could get ready. While I got my life organised I realized that I had nothing to do while Nick was at his meeting, I ran options over in my head then decided to just go straight to the Ellen studios where it would be nice and peaceful for Lily to take a nap.

I called the studios and asked them to supply a cot of some sort for her and I packed some blankets and things. I looked at the clock and shit a brick when I realised Lily needed feeding. “Bollocks!” I scolded and ran into the living room.

There sat my Dad with Lily in his arms and a bottle in his hand. I sighed with a smile. “Thanks Dad.”

“No problem Princess.”He shot me a reassuring look so I kissed his cheek then went back upstairs to see how Nick was getting on.

He wore a light blue button up tucked into some dark jeans with black leather shoes. He gazed at his Blackberry, occasionally moving his thumb down across the small ball. I stepped into my bedroom and began cleaning up around him. I knelt on all fours attempting to tuck the sheet into the corner of my bed.

“Gah!” I shouted as Nick’s hands wrapped around my hips and pulled me backwards and into him. He flipped me over and over his shoulder. I hit his back, giggling away as he tapped my ass. “I reckon I’m just going to chill at Ellen for you guys.”

“That’s good because Danielle is too, she’ll like the company.”

My spirits were raised hearing Danielle would be there, I needed someone to talk to while Lily slept or else I’d end up talk to my self and that is never a good sign. I’d learned that lack of sleep tends to cause me to forget things so I was always double checking my bag and asking Nick if I had everything.

I set off in my same BMW with the roof up and Lily in the back baby seat with a teddy and some rattles. She played quietly in the back like the perfect baby she was and occasionally played with the hem of her little white dress and had managed to pull off one of her white socks.

I went through the McDonalds drive through and got a McChicken meal and a coffee then sped to the Ellen studios. When I arrived security were there to help me with my bags while I unclipped Lily from her car seat.

“Here we go baby.” I pulled her out the car and onto my hip. “Could you pick her teddy up for me?” I asked one of the security, he quickly got it then led to their dressing room where Danielle was waiting.

“Hey lovely.” She greeted me and kissed my cheek. “She looks tired.”

I nodded and handed her to Danielle. “Thanks.” I smiled to the security, then smiled back then dispersed from the room. “I know, she’s due a sleep now.”

Lily let out a yawn in Danielle’s arms and let her eyes droop. I set up her sleep bag in the cot then took her from Danielle and placed her inside. I clipped the straps over her shoulder and handed her Scraps. She quickly dropped off to sleep and I dug into my McDonalds.

“So, how long do you think you’ll go without seeing Nick during this tour?” Danielle asked stealing some of my chips.

I shrugged, “I don’t know, I’m going to be dead on my feet. No more shared sleep ins, I’ll be up every morning.” I bit into my burger with a sad face. “I hope she suddenly gets the urge to sleep while I do.”

Danielle let out a laugh, “Unlikely.” I groaned, rubbing my tired eyes. Danielle chuckled at me and threw a chip at my face, I picked it from my chest and ate it.

We passed the time with music, TV and PSP’s. The boys arrived two hours later while Lily was just waking up about fifteen minutes before they arrived. I held her closed to me, cuddling her as she gently began to react to her surroundings again. As soon as they arrived the room was more crowded. Denise, Paul and Frankie ended up coming along so there were eight people and a baby all in one room. I could sense Lily was unsettled.

I picked her from her bouncer and carried her out the room, “Let’s go and see Ellen.”

Ellen was Lily’s godmother along with Miley. Ellen and Portia were very close to all of my family now and Nick and I had decided before Lily was born that we wanted Ellen to be a part of her life. It seemed important to keep everyone close together, I’d need it when everyone left. I was more concerned that I’d be living in Texas in a big house alone without Denise and Paul down the road, I was scared of being lonely.

As soon as I stepped in the room Lily was whisked from me and Portia had planted me in Ellen’s make up chair. “Jesus, you look like death.” She said as she wiped foundation over me.

“You’re the first to tell me.” I mumbled and sighed.

Why were people avoiding telling me I looked like shit? It was bad enough that I smelled of baby sick for the majority of the time and that I looked much older than twenty one but when I can do something to avoid it and no one tells me, it’s very frustrating. I wanted to look half alive. At least Portia had my back.

“There,” she sprayed some Marc Jacob’s Daisy perfume on me and smiled at her master piece, “Much better, are you and Lily sitting with me in the audience?”

I bit my lip, “I don’t know, she might cry.” I looked to Lily who has hitting Ellen in the nose, smiling and gurgling. I smiled at her and then looked back to Portia.

“She never cries, she’s a perfect little girl aren’t you?” Ellen cooed with a wide smile, shaking her head at Lily who smiled a cute, toothless smile at her rendering Ellen as another person wrapped around her tiny little finger.

Portia and I sat behind the cameras, Lily on my lap who gratefully accepted all the compliments thrown at her and watched everything that went on. Everything seemed so interesting to her, especially the cameras and the cameraman. Occasionally Ellen would laugh as Lily kept distracting the cameraman.

When the boys came out they talked about the tour and what they’ve been up to which obviously led to the blatant question, “So Nick, you’re a Dad now.”

He smiled bashfully and ducked his head. “Yeah, I am.”

“How tired are you? I’m assuming you do your fair of night feeds.” Ellen asked with a smiled. I chuckled and began making noises to hopefully entertain Lily.

“I do and I am very tired.” He half laughed and smiled at me.

“For ya’ll who don’t know Nick is married to the beautiful Julia Beckham, now Jonas and they had a little girl called Lily who has been harassing our cameraman the whole show which is what I’ve been randomly laughing at.”

A camera panned onto Lily who was propped on my lap and hitting Barry’s head. The audience chuckled. “She’s adorable.” Nick commented.

Ellen looked at me with a mischievous smile. “Can we bring her up here?”

Everyone looked to me hopefully and cheered me on. I rolled my eyes and stood up, walked in front of the cameras with Lily propped on my hip. I ignored the audience and handed her to Ellen with complete trust and they all let out an ‘aw’.

“Do you want to sit down?” Ellen asked me but was smiling at Lily. I shook my head and shot Nick a smile then ran back down off the set. “Here one of you take her, I’ll get distracted.”

Kevin stood up and so did Joe, but luckily for Joe he was closer. He pushed Kevin back down onto his seat then leaned forward and picked her up. “They’re like children.” Nick scolded as Joe played with Lily in his own little world.

“So, obviously Lily can’t come on tour with you which consequently means that Julia won’t be. What are you going to do without them?” Ellen pointed to Nick who shrugged and shook his head sadly.

“I don’t know… I don’t know.”

Time lapse…

The atmosphere was dull. Nick was leaving in the morning, Lily was asleep and we sat close together watching TV. His arm held my legs over his lap and his other arm was around my back holding onto the side off my waist while I rested my head on his warm chest.

As much as I tried to focus on Juno I couldn’t. My heart was preparing to be separated from Nick and as a result my eyes were glued to his perfect face. His stunning brown eyes were narrowed as he watched the television, gently moving his fingers across the skin of my stomach under his shirt I was wearing.

“Nick,” I whispered, catching his attention until it was fully on me. “This is going to be really hard. I mean, I know you want to keep our relationship as secretive as possible but…” I was flustered and frustrated.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Nick’s hands desperately grasped the sides of my face. “You always my number one girl, you mean everything to me and it will be hard, but we’ll do it. We always do.” He leaned down to press his lips to mine, sealing the deal.

I smiled softly at him and rested my hand over his, “Always.”