The Laws of Man and Nature

Julia POV

It was coming whether I liked it or not. I knew that he would be leaving and it hadn’t sunk in yet, my heart wasn’t prepared despite the time I’d give it. Nothing would prepare me for the next few months that were going to strike me. A full fall tour. So long. We’d see each other of course, but not often enough.

A black SUV parked outside the house, waiting and looming to take my life away. His bags were already in the back and Lily was napping upstairs. We stood opposite each other not saying a word. I just gazed at him, burning every feature even more deeply into my brain.

Finally, he leaned down and captured my lips with his in a passionate kiss. I wasn’t ready to let him go once we’d kissed so I held his forehead to mine and looked into his eyes. My heart pounded against my rib cage like a powerful bass drum.

“I love you, so much.” He reminded me, I nodded and kissed him.

“I love you, too.”

Rapidly he forced himself away from me and practically ran to the car, with one last glance at me and the home he shut the door and the car sped off. I quickly slammed the house door and looked at the two dogs sat next to each other looking up at me. Elvis and Albert looked at me with wide eyes then followed me into the living room where I fell onto the sofa. They jumped up next to me and licked my skin. I ignored them and took a few moments to my self.

I began cleaning the house as a distraction while Lily slept. I tried to leave my brain at the door and just wander around in a body, I didn’t want to think about the next three weeks without Nick. I had strong hope they’d pass quickly, so quickly I’d be surprised when I was flying out to New York to watch them perform and spend two days with Nick.

Life was getting harder day by day in Texas. I was up in the middle of the night with Lily and also with Nick’s phone calls. I understood his busy schedule but he obviously didn’t understand mine. I hardly had anytime to myself anymore but I didn’t mind. Lily had turned three months in the two weeks Nick had been away and had changed, not much physically but she seemed to be noticing more things. She could easily recognise me as her parent and often would reach for me with an excited smile if I left her in her bouncer with I ate.

I was worried she was forgetting Nick, so I spoke of him often and we watched him on TV together. I was also worried that he was missing all the milestones, she was starting to push down on my thighs if I stood her up and had better co-ordination. Kicking her legs while I changed her was a new obsession.

“And you see Lily, your Daddy phoned me at five in the morning just after I’d fed you and went to sleep. How rude is that?” I asked her, she just continued to play with her rattle with a content smile.

I heard my mobile ring so I dropped the fork I was washing and plucked it from my bag, “Hello?”

“Hey sweetheart, I have five minutes while we’re in the car. You okay?” Nick’s voice was soothing to me, but it seemed too distant that it made me sad. I wanted it close.

“I’m good, just doing some washing up. I’m going to take Lily for a walk and hope she falls to sleep for an hour or so.” I looked at the clock and decided I should start getting her sorted. I paused for a moment listening to Nick’s voice speaking to someone else, his hand obviously over the phone.

“I thought we had five minutes?” I heard him faintly ask. I sighed.

“Nick, just go. We’ll talk later.” I lied, we wouldn’t talk later and I knew it.

He let out a relieved sigh, “Thanks, I love you.”

“I love y—” He’d cut the line. “Too.” I sighed and shoved my phone into the pocket of my jeans.

Next thing to do was get Lily into the pushchair, I wrapped her up in a body suit then tucked a blanket over her. I slipped some mittens over her little hands then gently tugged a woolly hat over her head and ears. In record time I had my jacket and shoes on in order to be out the door before she got impatient.

I loved going for walks with her, it was a nice time for me to get some peace and quiet, it also gave me a chance to listen to some music. I was missing that aspect of my life. Making music was something I thought I’d do for much longer than 5 years and I was insanely jealous that Nick got to have his turn again.

Of course I’d wait for him, I’d wait forever for him. But it was sad to me that I had nothing to do other than look after Lily. I tried working out in our gym but I hate working out, so stressful and annoying. I had no one to call in Texas, everyone I would be able to call were in LA.

If I’d had my way we would have stayed there but I moved for Nick. It seemed everything I did was for Nick. I wanted to do something for my self. So once I got home I looked around for inspiration then saw it, my purse. With a mischievous smile I snatched it from the counter then shoved it into my bag.

I put a sleeping Lily into her car seat and collapsed the pushchair and squeezed it into the boot. The drive there I was very relaxed, I’d turned off all my phones and I had the radio on quietly, I felt quite liberated knowing I was doing something.

The drive to the mall had taken me forty-five minutes so Lily would be up in around another fifteen so I hit the shops quickly. For a quick shop I spent a lot and I mean a lot. Mall security walked around with me and carried my mounds of bags. I don’t know why I spent so much, I never usually did but I easily spent over $10,000.

“Oh my god, I love that bag!” I pointed to a useless large orange bag. Though useless to me, I was positive that I needed it.

So the cashier totalled it up and I didn’t look at the price but just handed her my credit card and off she swiped. I’m surprised the poor card hadn’t melted yet. The security took my bags while I pushed Lily in her pram through the mall and over to Starbucks where I could quietly feed her and have a nice frappachino.

Nick…

Nick was having a lot of fun touring again. Though he missed his little family back in Texas, the thrill of being back on stage was like no other. It felt right, normal. His family were slightly concerned at his lack of interest in his wife and daughters lives. He rang Julia as often as he could but sometimes they had a tinge of doubt which the immediately regretted once they heard him speak about them.

Nick loved her, it was apparent in everything he did. He thought he practically screamed it to the world, but now he was ready to push the spotlight away from his daughter and wife. He didn’t want his little girl growing up in Hollywood, hence why he managed to get his own way when moving to Texas.

To him, Texas was safe, central and close to his family. But, Nick failed to realise it was hundreds of miles from Julia’s, but she never complained so he couldn’t act on it. He did realise that by going on tour he was leaving her alone, without his or her family, in Texas. But she never mentioned that maybe she’d like to stay in L.A while he was away, so he couldn’t act on it.

He was busy doing interviews where he got an urgent look from his father and Bill. Bill was a part of the financial team, he’d been doing the books for the Jonas Brothers since they began to make it big in 2007. That seemed not only a minute ago to him. He didn’t feel as if life had passed him by but more like it was hanging around for him.

Once he had finished that quick interview he rushed over to his father and Bill who simply motioned for him to follow them. They sat him down in front of Bill’s computer and pointed to the screen.

Nick’s eyes almost bulged out their sockets as he stared at the number on it. Above the five digits number was a list of everything that had been bought; endless amounts of useless and unnecessary clothes, bags, shoes, gadgets, games… stuff that was not needed and should not have been purchases.

Nick was beyond furious. With an angry growl, he grabbed his Blackberry and stomped away into a private room.

Julia’s POV

I let out an angry growl as my phone began to ring on my bedside table. I looked at the alarm clock beside my bed, the angry red light glowed ‘1.25am’ so I knew that it was Nick. I snatched my Blackberry from the bedside table and hit the green phone button.

Groggily I managed to form some words. “Hello?”

I opened my eyes and rubbed them trying to make them feel normal again. “Hey peach.”

I sighed happily at hearing Nick’s voice. It was a lot of relief and very soothing. “Hiya darling, how are you?” I cleared my throat loudly.

“I’m good, yourself?” His voice seemed strained, I put it down to his tiredness.

“I really want a cuddle.” My hand rubbed over the cold space beside me where he should be. “Lily misses you too. She’s getting really grouchy.”

“I saw some pictures of you and her shopping today. Did you have fun spending over twenty thousand dollars on useless stuff?”

So that’s what he was angry at me. He had no right o be angry at me for that. It wasn’t just his money, I made it too. I wanted to spend money and do something for myself, if he was going to put up a fight about it I could fight back ten times as hard.

“It’s not useless stuff. It’s new stuff.” I retorted letting my eyes droop closed.

Nick sighed angrily down the receiver, “Julia, you can just go blowing thousands of dollars.”

I let on a frustrated breath. With great haste I sat up in bed and ran a hand through my hair, “Yes I can. I can make my own decisions, you’re off on your jolly’s so don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

“That’s not fair.” He growled, “We talked about this, you said you’d be perfectly fine with me going on tour and leaving you with Lily. Don’t give me a guilt trip.”

My mouth hung open a slight bit. “So you don’t even feel the slightest bit guilty that you can’t see Lily or me? You don’t feel guilty that I’m getting a maximum of four hours sleep a night because you’re ringing me at insane times and Lily needs feeding? Or the fact that I don’t have anyone to cuddle on a night--”

“Don’t put words in my mouth!” Nick shouted making my stomach lurch. He never shouted at me. “Don’t even dare assume any of those idiotic things Julia. I’ll see you in New York.”

“No Nick!” I called to no one. He’d hung up.

I stared at the blank screen on my phone then threw it across the bed. I grabbed his pillow and clutched it to my chest hoping for some comfort but it didn’t come, it didn’t smell like him. With wide eyes as I stared at it then threw it across the room. I climbed out of bed and ran across the room to the walk in closet.

Kicking my bags out of the way, I viciously opened his wardrobe and grabbed one of the few things left in it; a blazer, plain black with white hems all around. I pushed my arms through it and smiled slightly as his scent invaded my senses. I shuffled back to our bed weakly and crawled into his side of the bed and cried.

Feeding Lily and getting out of bed was harder than expected, but oddly she didn’t cry but was awake when I went to feed her. I lifted her from he cot and she smiled. I held the bottle on an angle for her as she guzzled it down hungrily.

“Do I smell like daddy in this jacket?” I cooed at her, gently stroking her soft skin with my finger. “Do you miss him like I do?” She didn’t reply, just grunted a little cute noise as she sucked on the bottle.

She grabbed my finger and wrapped her little hand around it and squeezed it. I looked at my angels face and let a tear fall down my cheek. She was perfect. She was my life line. I knew that this type of love was different, I’d take a bullet for her without a moment’s hesitation. Lily was the most important thing in my life. I knew my priorities. She needed someone strong, I needed to be strong.

So, for the next two days before I met up with Nick in New York I was completely focused on making sure Lily was okay and happy. She seemed happy enough but was extra happy when I wore Nic’s clothes, I put it down to the smell of Nick on the clothing. We hadn’t spoken properly since he shouted at me. I planned to apologise once we were in New York.

Lily slept for the take off and landing which was useful, no one wants to deal with a three month old baby whose ears are popping. Paparazzi stalked through the airport, following me through the airport to the venue where my love would be awaiting.

I was excited and so was Lily. She could sense something was about to happen, her eyes were wide and she looked around constantly trying to find what she was supposed to be excited about.

Then she finally got her explanation. Her father.