Put Your Heart Where Your Mouth Is

“Lyss, wait up!” Alyssa recognised the voice immediately and stopped walking, turning around to face the approaching figure.

“Hey John-Oh,” She grinned, giving him a small hug as he reached her, “Did we make plans that I forgot about?”

John shook his head, “No, I just wanted to speak to you,”

“Oh right. What’s up?” She smiled, moving out of the path of the oncoming bustle of teenagers desperate to escape school grounds.

“I just wanted to thank you,” He began earnestly, “You know, for not going along with the ‘plan’,”

Alyssa knew that Melissa was in somewhat of a hearing distance and that’s why John referred to it as ‘the plan’. She shrugged dismissively, “You don’t need to thank me. It was a stupid idea in the first place,”

“It wasn’t,” John protested.

“Yeah it was; anything that I could do to hurt you or a girl as lovely as Melissa is a stupid idea. I can’t destroy a relationship as good as yours just because we got slightly carried away. Besides, it should be your decision to tell her what happened. Only you know if your relationship can handle it. It’s not even my business to mess with,” She explained, going against everything she’d said to John to get him to agree to ‘the plan’ in the first place.

“I made it your business. We’re being hypocrites by doing this. I told you when you deserved to know, I thought we agreed that she deserved to know as well?” He whispered.

Alyssa let out a short sigh and gently tugged him slightly further away from Melissa, “I deserved to know because Cameron didn’t love me the way I loved him. You and Melissa are together because you both really like each other. What happened between us was a mistake,” She expanded, quickly adding- “A worthwhile mistake but a mistake nonetheless,” –when she noticed his expression becoming slightly downtrodden.

He paused for a second and Alyssa tried to decipher his facial expression. With a very intrigued frown, his eyes locked onto hers, “Do you regret it? You know- what we did?”

She ran a hand through her hair, “No. The only thing I regret is that it could’ve potentially hurt someone because we weren’t thinking straight. But, even though I don’t regret it, it was still wrong,”

He nodded slightly, “I know,”

“The thing is though, John-Oh, that Melissa’s falling for you and I can tell that you’re falling for her too. It’s not right to destroy something when it’s so fragile especially destroying it with something that won’t happen again. At least not while you’re with her,” Alyssa sighed slightly when she saw him shove his hands in his pockets uncomfortably, “John,” She didn’t use ‘John-Oh’ when she was being serious and sincere, “Do you want to tell her?” She watched as confliction and hesitation became visible in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” He murmured.

“Okay, let me put it this way- Do you want to potentially hurt someone you care about and risk losing what could be the first genuine relationship you’ll have?”

“When you put it like that no,”

“Then there’s your answer,”

“But I don’t want a relationship based on lies,” He frowned.

“It’s not based on lies; it’s based on chemistry and attraction. A dip in honesty won’t change that. She doesn’t know so her feelings won’t change and yours won’t change either. You two are good together- Don’t ruin it when there’s no need,”

“What if she finds out and she makes me choose between you two?” John suggested.

Alyssa rolled her eyes at his consistent attempts to find a flaw in her logic, “Okay, one- she’s not going to find out. Two- she wouldn’t give you that ultimatum and three- even if she did find out and she did give you the ultimatum, you will have already made the decision the second she asks you. You’ll probably hesitate and maybe think twice, but you will choose her,” She continued so John couldn’t interrupt her like she knew he would when she saw his eyes widen, “That’s what love does to you John-Oh. You’ll choose her. But the thing is I’m always going to be here. So it doesn’t matter who you choose over me, Melissa or whichever girl you fall for, I’m not going anywhere. You and I are going to be eighty, old and wrinkled and still fighting over who gets the most marshmallows in their hot chocolate. I’ll be telling you to trim your ear hair and you’ll be telling me to shut my fucking mouth- It’s the way it is and the way it’ll always be. We’re best friends and nothing’s ever going to change that,” She reassured, “Anyone you date will just have to get over the fact that I’m a permanent fixture,”

John laughed, “I guess so,”

“So we’re sticking to not going along with the plan?” She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

“Yeah- There’s no point in making an unnecessary mess,” He shrugged.

She smiled, “Right. Well, you have a girlfriend to walk home and I have my hair to dye so I’ll catch you later,”

“You’re dyeing your hair again? Jesus, Lyss, I didn’t know there were that many colours in existence,” He shook his head in disbelief, “What are you dyeing it this time?”

“I’m thinking pink... Or maybe blonde again?” She spoke thoughtfully, “What colour do you think?”

“Your natural colour. It was a really nice colour. None of the colours you’ve dyed it have suited you as well. I prefer you brunette,” He replied, “But blonde is alright as well, I guess,”

“John, are you ready?” Melissa called.

He looked over his shoulder then looked back at Alyssa, “Gotta go. I’ll call you later,” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to him, “Love you,” He whispered, his words full with emotion.

Alyssa smiled to herself, curling her arms around his torso and mumbling back, “Love you too,”

He pulled back and smiled at her again before heading over to his girlfriend, locking their fingers and walking off.

Alyssa sighed, pulled a lock of her bright red hair in front of her eyes and pulled a thoughtful expression.

She dyed her hair again that night. It was the last time she ever dyed it. After that, she was brunette and proud of it all because John liked it better.

-----
-----

“Why do you guys have to leave so damn early?” Leanne groaned as she lazily pulled on her jeans for the second time after Kennedy had pointed out she’d put them on backwards in her sleep-deprived state.

“Because we have to do a whole lot of stuff to prepare- You didn’t have to get up, we could’ve just said our goodbyes last night,” Kennedy replied, tying his shoelaces.

“Don’t be stupid- I can’t let you leave me for almost three months without seeing you off. I still have goodbyes to say to everyone else as well,” She added, tugging her shirt over her head.

“Good point,” He replied, grabbing his case and heading for the bedroom door, “But, in that case, you should stop complaining,”

She sent him a playful glare and began to brush her hair, “I just have to do my hair then we can go,”

Kennedy smirked wickedly, “We don’t have all day Lea. We have to leave in an hour,”

“I’m going to seriously kick your ass in a minute,” She shook her head, unable to hide the smile that the sight of his smirk brought to her face.

“You can try,” He challenged.

Leanne carefully placed down her hairbrush and narrowed her eyes at him, “Don’t tempt me,”

He tilted his head and pulled a thoughtful expression, “I’ve come to realise that’s the thing I do best,”

She let out a slight laugh, “You don’t get a head start this time,” She stated before launching at him.

He saw it coming and took off out of the room, running towards the stairs and noticing she was right behind him when he glanced over his shoulder.

She gained on him as they jumped down the stairs, enough to tackle him when they neared the living room door making him fall onto the couch.

He laughed when she fell on top of him, straddling his waist and keeping him pinned to the couch by his shoulders. His hands fell onto her hips.

“How many times must we establish that I will always win?” Leanne smiled.

Kennedy shrugged slightly, “I always let you win, Lea,”

She scoffed, “Whatever. You just won’t admit that I’m stronger than you ‘cause I’m a girl,”

“Actually, you’re really not. I let you win because every time I do you, one way or another, end up on top of me,” He smirked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

She rolled her eyes but she couldn’t help laughing, “I’m on top because I’m stronger,”

Kennedy studied her face for a second and, rapidly, somehow flipped them over so she was beneath him. He held her arms to the couch by her wrists, “You sure about that?” He smirked as she tried and failed to squirm free from his grip.

Leanne pouted, “You’re mean,” She whined simply.

He chuckled slightly and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her eagerly awaiting lips. He lingered there a few seconds longer than he usually would.

When he pulled away, he hovered only a few inches from her. His eyes scanned her features, taking in every aspect of her. Something changed and he noticed it immediately.

“What’s wrong?” He murmured, releasing her wrists and reaching up to brush his knuckles over her cheek.

She bit her lip slightly to stop it quivering, staring deeply into his concern filled eyes, “I’m going to miss you so much,” She breathed, cursing her eyes for beginning to water.

He let out a deep breath and rested his forehead on hers, closing his eyes, “I was hoping to avoid your tears this time,” He smiled sadly, hurt embedding itself in his heart at the sight of her distress, right next to the feeling of dread over leaving her. Again.

“I’m sorry,” She whimpered.

“Don’t be sorry,” He responded automatically, “You can’t help it. I just can’t stand seeing you upset is all,” He combed his fingers through her tangled mess of hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I’ll be fine. I always am. This is just emotion stage two of you going away,” She shrugged, taking a deep breath in a somewhat successful attempt to get rid of the lump in her throat.

“Stage two?” He frowned quizzically.

“Yeah- First I’m depressed, like last night, then I cry, then I hug you a lot more than necessary, then I go into denial and beg you to stay and eventually I accept it... About three days after you leave,” She listed.

He chuckled airily and locked their fingers, “I call you whenever I can though,”

“I know, but sometimes your voice isn’t enough. Sometimes I need your lips. Most of the time I need your arms around me,” She caressed his thumb with hers.

“And all the other times you need my sexy body,” He joked.

“That too,” She laughed, her tears subsiding. He always knew how to make her happy.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers again, whispering, “I love you so, so much,” as he pulled back and tucked his face into her neck, sliding his arms beneath her so he could pull her body up to meet his in a tight embrace.

“Love you more,” She murmured back, closing her eyes and melting into his arms.

-----

Movement on the opposite side of the bed roused Alyssa from her sleep and she turned over in time to see an only-boxers-clad-John climbing out of bed, scratching his bare stomach as he stretched. She rubbed her eyes and frowned.

“Is it time to get up?” She mumbled sleepily, her voice croaking slightly.

John almost jumped, thinking he hadn’t woken her when he moved, “I was just going to get a shower, I didn’t mean to wake you,” He sat on the bed, shuffling backwards so that he was sat beside her, “You still have fifteen minutes sleep,” He reached over and brushed his fingers across her cheek, his hand coming to rest on her neck. The novelty of being able to touch her like that still hadn’t worn off.

She nuzzled into his hand and smiled tiredly at him, “What time are we leaving?”

“About forty-five minutes,” He responded, licking his dry lips.

Alyssa nodded slightly and reached up, placing her hand on the back of his neck and gently pulling him closer, “That’s just enough time,” She whispered, planting a gentle kiss to his lips.

“What for?” He murmured.

She gently pushed him away and grinned, “To call shotgun on the shower,” She jumped out of bed and headed for the bedroom door.

John groaned, “Why did I fall for that?”

She laughed evilly, “I take longer than you so it makes more sense for me to go first,” She blew him a kiss and ran for the bathroom.

“You’re lucky I’m too tired to fight you for it!” He yelled after her.

-----
-----

When John and Alyssa were ready to leave, they jumped into the car and began the drive to John’s house. Their fingers stayed intertwined for the journey, wanting to be as close as they could with the time they had left.

“I can’t believe this is our last ten minutes together for weeks,” Alyssa sighed despondently, keeping her eyes focused on the road.

“I know,” John squeezed her hand, “I’m going to miss you,” He murmured after a few seconds of silence.

“It’s stupid that we’ve only been ‘us’ for a week and you have to leave,” She ran a hand through her freshly washed hair, brushing the strays from her face and quickly returning her hand to the steering wheel to pull up beside John’s house.

John glanced over at her for the first time since they got in the car and spoke in a serious voice, “We’re going to be fine, Lyss. You know that right?”

Alyssa turned off the engine and looked over at him, nodding very slightly, “I know,”

He pressed a kiss to her knuckles and sent her a small smile before getting out of the car. Alyssa followed him into his house where he picked up his suitcase that had been left by the door ready for today.

“The guys should be here soon,” John stated.

Alyssa walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her cheek on his upper back and holding him tight.

She felt him chuckle beneath her slightly and he carefully manoeuvred around so that he could wrap his arms around her too.

“I love you,” She whispered, closing her eyes in an attempt to force back the tears.

He rested his head on hers and squeezed her frame to his, “I love you too,”

They heard a ruckus come from outside after the sound of two cars pulling up and they sighed deeply, pulling away from one another only to lock their fingers once more. Pulling open the door, they wandered back outside to see the rest of the group gathered on in the front yard, Leanne’s arms wrapped tightly around Kennedy’s waist like she didn’t ever want to let him go.

-----

“Stupid van- Couldn’t the driver have just... Gone around the block a few times?” Leanne sighed, looking up at Kennedy with those still glazed over eyes.

“We won’t get there on time if he does,” Kennedy chuckled slightly.

“Don’t go,” She pouted.

Kennedy rolled his eyes, “Can we skip this stage? I hate seeing you like this,”

Leanne’s eyes began to fill up again, “And I hate seeing you leave. Stay here. I’ll pay you to play for me every night,” She joked.

He brushed away a tear that had fallen from her eye and smiled, “I don’t think it works that way, baby. It’ll fly by, don’t worry. You’ll see me in no-time and you’ll be wanting rid of me,”

She sniffed slightly and kissed his lips slowly, “I never want rid of you,” She buried her face into his neck, “We’re going to be okay though, right?”

He pulled back and lifted her chin to stare deep into her eyes, “We’re always okay. We’ve gotten through worse than this before,”

She nodded, “I know. Just don’t go running off with any fan girls,”

“I’ll try to restrain myself,” He joked, hugging her once again.

-----

“Are you going to be able to manage without me for a while?” John smirked.

Alyssa let out a laugh and nudged him slightly with her shoulder, “I think I’ll manage, just about,”

“Good. I’ll still phone you every night to make sure you’re okay,” He reassured.

“You just want to hear my voice and you know it,” She teased, pulling him to a stop so she could wrap her arms around him.

“That too,” He added, his eyes scanning her face to take in every possible feature he could.

She heard the driver call encouragement for them to get in the van and she felt that sense of dread in her stomach. John noticed immediately when her eyes started watering.

“Ugh,” She groaned slightly, “We've done this so many times before, I didn’t think it’d be so hard this time. It’s worse than every other time put together,”

He nodded in agreement, “Yeah but you’ve got nothing to worry about because I’ll be back before you know it with another wicked-ass shirt for you to keep forever and ever,” He grinned.

She smiled, “I’ll look forward to it,”

He leaned in and pressed their lips together in a sweet, lingering kiss, “Don’t ever doubt that I’m missing you every second we’re apart,” He whispered.

“Don’t doubt that I’m thinking about you either,” She added, holding her body to his.

“Last night,” He began slowly, “It was incredible,”

She felt herself blush very slightly, “Yeah. I think it was the perfect way to say goodbye,” The couple fell into silence for a brief second, relishing in the other’s embrace.

“I love you,” He murmured into her ear as if it was the most intimate secret he had. It made her feel so special and her heart swelled for him as she forced back her tears.

“I love you too,”

“We need love too,” Pat announced causing the couple to break apart.

Alyssa laughed and wandered over to him, hugging him tight before moving on to Kennedy, Jared and Garrett.

Leanne hugged the group individually, leaving Garrett until last.

“You’re going to miss me the most aren’t you?” He joked.

“Oh yeah, my heart breaking with Kenny leaving is only a fraction of what I feel for you, Garrett,” She laughed, pulling away from him.

“I know you want my babies Lea, but I just can’t do that to Kennedy,” He grinned.

She let out a hearty laugh and hugged him again, “Miss you,” She sighed. Her and Garrett’s friendship always seemed to have been as strong as Alyssa’s with Kennedy and she wasn’t sure why. They just got along well.

“Miss you too,” He responded before joining the group as they headed onto the bus.

Leanne and Alyssa locked their arms together and sent each other reassuring smiles.

John arrived at the window, breathing on it so it steamed up before he drew a heart with his finger. Alyssa smiled widely and blew him a kiss.

Leanne felt her phone vibrate and she pulled it out, flipping it open to see a message from Kennedy that read ‘I love you’ more than a few times with an ‘I forgot to tell you enough’ at the end.

As the bus drove off Alyssa sighed sadly and glanced over at Leanne’s downtrodden expression, “Tell me it gets easier,” She spoke pleadingly.

Leanne looked over at the watering eyes of her best friend, “It gets easier,” She replied before giving her a reassuring hug that she needed herself.

“Thank you for lying,”

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'I Got The Whole World At My Feet But Still I’m Not Complete
‘Cause It Takes A Part Of You To Make All Of Me'

Sara Haze.

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