Peoms..

Today was an amazing day,
I hung out with friends,
Climbed a tree,
Swung on a swing,
Slid down the slide,
Got dizzy on the marry-go-round,
And yet,
My smile quickly faded,
Why can't I just be happy?
I love my friends,
I love climbing,
I love swinging,
And sliding,
I adore marry-go-rounds,
But as my heart began to soar...
I saw one thing I'll never have,
A beautiful family arrived,
With four beautiful children,
And at first...
I thought to myself Aww I can't wait,
But then I remembered,
I remembered a day two years ago,
When I went to the doctor,
She did some tests,
When the results came in,
I was informed that I would never bare children.
Have you ever had a rug pulled out from under you?
That's how I felt.
The rug I had built my dreams upon,
Was suddenly yanked from beneathe me.
Now you may say,
"Hey there's always adoption"
But I want to feel my baby growing,
I want him or her to kick me,
I want to know what it feels like to know,
Inside of you grows a little person,
And knowing I never will hurts so bad.
Everytime I hold a little baby,
It's a bitter sweet feeling,
My first thought is always,
"I can't wait for mine!"
And then...
And then comes the second thought,
"You can't have one!"
Then I feel so much pain.
It's almost as if I had my dear little one in my arms,
And then someone came along,
And ripped him or her from my grasp,
No matter how I weep or beg,
They won't give my baby back.
That baby is my hope,
My hope of haveing a child one day.
Along with the hope of children they've taken away,
It seems they've taken my hope of a husband,
And my hope of a future,
Because what good is a husband or a future..
Without the thing that makes it all worth while?
And now I can have an amazing day
And be happy for five minutes,
But then reality comes crashing in,
And I wonder...
Why can't I be happy?