Death Dies Harder in the Gutter

‘Gutter Pussy are made up of Wrath, Morbid, Ellie, Claire and Alexx, five incredibly sexy girls from the UK that sing purely about sex, drugs and glitter! We can see you thinking ‘What the fuck?’ but once you get past the initial shock of it, they’re not so fucking bad. They’re pretty much Motley Crue, but with tits. Big ones at that. I guess you can say that it’s not the music people are fans of...They’re due to tour the US this may, with 20 dates across the US. Be sure to bring the tissues, guys’

“What the actual fuck! Who the fuck wrote this piece of shit? I am going to knock someone out in a moment!” I screamed, throwing some shitty American metal music magazine down on the small table before me.

“Whats it say?!” Morbid asked, grabbing the magazine from me, and scanning her eyes across the words.

“You may aswell read it out, we want to hear it” Alexx suggested, leaning back against one of the plush velvet seats situated inside of our tour bus. We were currently on our way to our first venue, on our first tour of the states. We had flown into California two hours and were immediately ushered onto a black and pink tour bus to get to the venue on time. It was called something like ‘Damien's’
I listened as Morbid spoke allowed the short review of us.

“Never! What the fuck?!” Ellie exclaimed, looking at each of us in turn with a slightly shocked expression on her face.

“Fuck it; We’ve had like, 10 awesome ones from other American magazines...we were bound to get some wankers” Alexx shrugged, not really bothered.

“Yeah, I guess so, but did he have to be such a cock about it?” Claire interjected.

“Well, I think it’s kind of funny...And complimentary! He pretty much said I have big tits. Fucking right” Morbid grinned.

I let out a small giggle, and grinned as an idea entered my head. Oh dear, let the antics begin!

“Oh my god! I have the best fucking idea ever” I grinned excitedly.

“Tell us then, slag” Morbid mumbled in a bored tone.

“Lets film ourselves burning it and shit like that, then we can make threats to whoever wrote it, and once we’re done, we can send it to their website!”

“That’s the most retarded idea i’ve ever heard” Morbid replied with a snort of laughter.

“Fuck you! Just because we’re away from Eddy, don’t be such an asshole! Everyone’s away from someone we love and we’re not being dickheads. Who the fuck wants to make some threats then?!” I grinned.

Morbid glowered at me, then sighed as Claire, Alexx and Ellie squealed in delight and went in search of a camera.

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A few bottles of vodka later, we had set fire to the magazine and flushed it down the toilet whilst screaming obscenities at the camera. Justice for all, I guess.

“How excellent! I feel alot better now” I smiled, even though my head was spinning due to the alcohol in my blood system.

“Me too...TRAVIS! Where the fuck are we?!” Morbid screamed at our driver.

“Funny enough you should ask that” He smirked, his American accent evident against ours. “We’re like, five minutes away from the venue!”

Soon enough, the tour bus had slowed and we found ourselves stumbling off the tour bus that had been parked around the back of the venue. Two other black tour busses were parked next to ours...support bands?
We grabbed our suitcases, that were on wheels, and pulled them into the venue where we were told to get ready as soon as possible. We had arrived about 3 hours late, so there wasn’t any time for sound check or anything. Thank fuck.

“So how long have we got to get ready?” I asked our tour manager, Scott.

“Like, half an hour?” He estimated, glancing down at his wrist.

“Oh my GOD! Girls, half an hour! Oh my god” I screeched in exasperation and began rifling through my small suitcase, pulling out different brands of hairspray, make up and our uniform.
20 minutes later, I had managed to get myself to a decent looking state. My black and red hair had been back combed and fixed in place with alot of hairspray. I had applied white face powder, eyeliner and black eyeshadow to my face, along with half a tube of glitter that had somehow weaved itself into my hair. Glitter covered my uniform aswell, which consisted of a hot pink shirt that stopped halfway up our forearms, along with a silken black tie. On the back, ‘Gutter Pussy’ was written in white to resemble a certain body fluid. Our names were written down the side of our right arm, in the same style. On bottom, we wore black skinny jeans that were customised to our own liking. Mine were covered in glitter and had a few lyrics scribbled across them. We all wore platform high heels that screamed ‘Stripper’, except for Ellie who couldn’t drum with those on. Instead, she wore black doc’s.
Tearing myself away from my reflection, I looked across at the others and saw that Morbid was spraying her hair to within an inch of its life. She resembled Nikki Sixx, only with tits. Ellie was applying eyeliner, her long pin straight black hair hiding part of her face. Alexx was teasing her short bleach blonde hair, making it big. Claire was dusting her face with a white powder, brushing some from the dark waves that cascaded past her face.

“Do I look alright?” I asked, directing the question to one of my band mates.

“Yeah, you look lush you big whore...as usual!” Ellie smiled, turning away from the mirror briefly to look me over.

I could hear the crowd screaming at some band on the stage, who had been playing as we got ready. I had only just noticed.

“Hey, Scott, who are the support bands? No ones told us...We’ve been busy recording and doing signings and shit” I added, due to his puzzling looks. We normally chose the support bands, but this time we hadn’t been included in this decision.

“Marionette...and Deathstars” He replied.

I turned to look at Morbid, and we just stared at each other in what appeared to be shock.