Abercrombie & Bitch

Sunday, May 4, 9:44am – Penn Station

“Miranda, are you sure about this?” Donelle asked uncertainly, adjusting her glasses. “There's only a month left of school. You've handled worse things...”

I sighed. “I'm sure. I... I can't go back there.”

Riley frowned. “I hate to sound like the sensible one, but what's going to happen with school? You didn't have enough credits to graduate Redford, let alone any other school.”

I bit my lip. “I'll have to take summer school. But, if all goes well, I'll get all the necessary credits and then apply for junior college.” I set my duffel bag on the bench next to me. “I... I don't think I'll be coming back any time soon.”

Riley didn't look convinced, but she just nodded anyway. Mika put his arm around her waist possessively as a group of teenage guys passed by us and gave her a second glance. I rolled my eyes.

We all sat down in the lobby while Andrea was at the ticket booth, coordinating everything. We were all kind of somber. It was... this was something we hadn't thought we would have to do until way, way farther down the line.

Because, truthfully, I didn't know when I was going to see them again. I was going to try and visit during the summer, but we all knew that I'd have to get a job as soon as possible and, like I said, I'd have summer school and hopefully junior college. And everyone else already knew what they were doing: Donelle was taking a summer internship over in Paris, Riley was... well, probably looking for adoptive families with Mika, and Zach...

“Where's Zach?” I asked warily, not really sure if I wanted to know the answer. When I'd talked to him this morning to explain everything, he... He wasn't happy. I would at least think he'd show to say good-bye, no matter how angry he was with me. If he loved me. Right?

Riley and Donelle looked at their feet. Mika sighed. “He said he was staying home to prepare for the talent show,” he scoffed, “I can't believe him.”

I made an attempt to smile. “That's okay, Mika. It's no big deal.”

“It's no big deal?!” Riley yelled, wrenching herself from her boyfriend's grasp, “Of course it's a big deal! Zach's in-freaking-love with you! The least he could do is say goodbye!”

I sighed. “You don't get it, Riley, I-”

She scoffed. “Oh, I don't get it, huh? Well, educate me. Please.”

Biting my lip, I turned to look out the window. People were milling around aimlessly; men in business suits, women with little children, families on vacation with luggage hanging all over them. It was surreal to think that every single one of them had their own lives, their own problems to deal with. Maybe one of them would know what to do. Maybe they've been in this situation.

“It's hard to watch someone you love just... just leave. Without any warning.” I clasped my hands together. “Without a reason.”

No one said anything for a while. I continued to stare out the window, but I didn't really see what was going on. I was, unfortunately, thinking about Zach. Last night... Nothing happened, or anything like that, but... I think I finally realized how I felt about him. How I'd always felt about him. I couldn't tell him that over the phone. And maybe I was being stupid about this whole thing, but there was a part of me that kind of hoped that maybe... just maybe, Zach would show up, take me in his arms, and beg me to stay.

Tell me everything was going to work out.

Tell me... tell me exactly how he feels.

I also knew that I had to stop being immature about it. Zach had done more than enough to prove that he cared about me – in fact, he'd done too much. He didn't have to offer to help me in the talent show, or take me to the beach that day, or comfort me last night when I'd needed him the most. And what had I done for him?

I'd picked up and left.

Even if it wasn't because of him, it had to hurt.

Damn. I really am a bitch.

“Miranda?” Andrea said, walking up to us, “I got your tickets. You'll go straight to Pittsburgh, and Dad will pick you up from there. Do you have your cell phone?”

I nodded, numbly, and went back to watching the people.

Andrea sighed and sat down next to me, clasping her hands in her lap. “You know, Miri, it's not easy for him.”

I turned to her, confused.

“Zach,” she clarified. “Look. I know how it feels to be in this exact position. To watch a boyfriend – or girlfriend, in his case – leave you behind, and knowing you can't do a damn thing to change their mind.” She chuckled darkly. “You always were the stubborn one.” I looked down at my lap. She put her arm around my shoulder. “Any guy is lucky to have you. You have to remember that. Don't doubt your decisions. But, hun, you also have to understand that while you and Zach are close, he has no idea what's going on in your head... or your heart. Not unless you tell him.”

“Thank you, Confucius, but how am I supposed to do that?”

-[-]-

Sunday, May 4, 9:44am – auditorium

“Alright, everyone! Time for a dress rehearsal!” Ms. Weber announced to the group of students in front of her.

People began to stand up and go to their places, while Zach begrudgingly followed behind them. He didn't feel like he had the energy to be doing this, nor the willpower. But it gave him an excuse not to have to see Miranda off this morning.

Why did she have to do that? There had to have been a way to figure things out. She was just running away from her problems. What good would that do? Nothing, that's what.

“Zachary Sinclair? You're up,” Ms. Weber said warily, eyeing him carefully. She knew he shouldn't be here by himself, but it wasn't her place to say anything.

He stood up and pulled himself up on the stage, taking the mic. The music started to play softly behind him. He changed the music to something he could sing by himself.

“This ain't a song for the broken hearted,
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd,
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud.”

Miranda should be here. She shouldn't be going to her dad's, because that wasn't going to do anything. Zach himself shouldn't be where he was. But it was too late to change his mind now.

“It's my life, it's now or never,
I ain't gonna live forever,
I just wanna live while I'm alive...
My heart is like an open highway,
Like Frankie said, I did it my way,
I just wanna live while I'm alive.
It's my life.”

Damn it. He was starting to think like Miranda, looking into the lyrics of songs and crap like that. He knew what he had to do, and he couldn't do it from the stage.

“Stop! Stop the music!” he yelled, exiting the stage with one great leap and rushing down the aisles of the theater. Ms. Weber gave him a curious look. “Look, Ms. W, I really have to go.”

She gave him a knowing smile. “Go ahead, Zach.”

He rushed a thank you and sprinted out of the building, toward his car, which he hopped into and drove off.

His eyes focused on the road, but his mind was only focusing on Miranda. He couldn't just let her leave without saying good-bye. He may not like the decision she was making, but she needed someone to support her. He figured that she had Donelle and Riley, but... Oh, who was he kidding? If he didn't go, there was no chance of her changing her mind. Maybe, just maybe, he convince her that she was making a huge mistake.

-[-]-

Sunday, May 4, 10:39pm – Penn Station

“Well, this is me,” I said sadly, pointing to one of the many trains in the station. I slung my bag over my shoulder again and turned to everyone. I could already feel tears burning in my eyes.

“We'll miss you,” Donelle sniffled, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I sighed and hugged her back. “You're always welcome to come visit.”

I couldn't help but smile. “Thanks, guys.”

I told myself I wasn't going to cry. The least I could do is save what little dignity I had left.

“Miranda! Wait!” a familiar voice yelled, echoing through the building.

I can't deny the fact that my heart nearly leapt at hearing that voice. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be at the talent show thing. Why did he come all the way here?

Everyone turned to look at him. “Cutting it close, Zach,” Mika muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

I ignored him. Zach kept sprinting through the station, shoving people out of the way. When he finally got to me, he threw his arms around me and almost lifted me a foot off the ground. I awkwardly hugged him back, choking back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

“Thank God, you didn't leave,” he whispered, pulling back only slightly. He was still holding my elbows so that I was pretty much nose-to-chest with him. “Look, this is way over the top. You can't leave, Miri.”

That's not what I expected him to say. “Uh, Zach, I am leaving. I haven't changed my mind.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Miranda, please! I-I … you-” He shook his head after cutting himself off.

The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine, angrily and roughly. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. He locked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, while my hands stayed limp on his chest. We continued this until someone – Donelle – cleared their throat behind us.

He reluctantly stopped what he was doing and rested his forehead against mine. “Please. Just give it a while. We'll figure something out. Ashley will... will.... I don't know. But we'll find something. Together. Just, please. Don't go. I... I love you.”

I could almost hear my heart breaking. “I... Zach...”

His face fell. “Crap. I mean... I...”

I shook my head. Stupid tears. Stupid Zach. Stupid everything. “I... I love you, too. Okay? But I can't stay here. It's just...” I took a deep breath and looked up at him. His eyes were clouded, hurt, and everything in between. “I need to move on.”

His hands fell from my elbows, and it wasn't until then that I finally registered what I'd said. “No! I meant-”

“That's okay,” he snapped, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Sorry I slowed you down. Have a fucking good time in your new life, Muffin Bear. I don't give a damn anymore.”

And he stalked away. Just like that, everything was over... I slumped down in the chair behind me as I watched his retreating back, frantically trying to replay everything that had just happened. My sluggish brain was still trying to catch up, and it was doing a horrible job.

“Miranda?” Andrea asked tentatively, gently touching my shoulder, “You'd better board your train.”

I took a deep breath. “Yeah. I guess you're right.”

With that, I turned my back to Zach and Mika and Riley and Donelle, and headed into a new life. One that didn't involve over-protective mothers. Or questionable bosses. Or all of that other crap that comes with high school. I was over it all.

Time to move on.