Ashlan.

“Why don’ yeh invite Oli teh come with us, Tom?” Becky said, clearly agitated that Tom wasn’t paying full attention to her since I was there.

“Alrigh’,” he replied, shooting me an apologetic look. It was originally going to be just Thomas and I going out for ice cream, but Becky had complained, so I invited her. It kind of sucked that I couldn’t hangout with a guy because he has a girlfriend, or because other people get jealous.

He pulled out his phone reluctantly and dialed his brother’s number. They conversed for a bit, and I was guessing that Oliver was going to meet us there.

Sure enough, I was right. When we reached the small parlor on the corner, Oliver was already there, a smile on his face as he rested coolly against his car. I rolled my eyes at his presence and followed behind Becky who entered the building.

//

The whole time I ate my ice cream I could feel Oliver’s eyes on me. They watched my every movement, and seemed to be judging me. I hadn’t said a word since we entered, and with the way he was staring at me, I didn’t want to.

“Why vanilla? ‘S so borin’,” Oliver said, breaking the silence that had settled between us all.

I looked up at him, my eyes narrowed and serious. He looked taken aback, like he actually didn’t do anything wrong, or judge me.

“Maybe she likes vanilla, Oli,” Tom said, coming to my side. In response, Oliver shrugged again.

“So Tom an’ I are gonna ‘ead back teh my house, an’ Oli will take yeh ‘ome, Ashlan,” Becky said. She smiled sweetly at me, a smile in which I didn’t return. I knew she just wanted to get rid of me so she could have time with her boyfriend, and Tom knew too.

//

The car ride was severely awkward. Oliver didn’t say a word. He kept his mouth shut the whole time, only asking if I was too hot at one point. I didn’t say anything either.

I would occasionally glance over at him and let a small smile grace my lips as I watched his brown eyes flicker over the scenery. He really did have amazing eyes.

“Are yeh hangin’ with Suzan today?”

//

I don’t know how it happened, but Oliver and I were snuggled up under a blanket in my room watching my old movies. He had his hand tangled with my own, and he kept playing with them. His eye caught a photo on my dresser and in response, I quickly flipped it face down.

“Who was tha’?” he asked, clearly meaning the boy in the picture.

“Who was who?” I asked, clearly playing dumb.

“Tha’ guy in the picture. Who was tha’?” I sighed, letting my head fall against my pillow, and closed my eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh well…yeh can trust me, Ashlan.”

There was silence between us after that. I felt hands slowly kneed into my shoulders, releasing the tension, and a few other things; my tears.

I let them fall slowly at first, but then after a while I was full out sobbing into Oliver’s arms.

“It’s my brother,” I replied quietly, almost inaudibly.

“Who is?”

“The guy in the picture…he is…was my older brother.” I could feel his marvelous brown eyes burning into the back of my head, begging me to tell him what happened.

“I didn’ know yeh ‘ad a brother,” he replied, his voice closer than before.

By now, we were both quiet. He didn’t know what to say, and I was chocking back tears.

“What happenen’ teh ‘im?”

“He died two years ago.”

“The same year yehr grandfather died?” With fresh tears poring down my face, I didn’t know if I was able to respond.

I felt so pathetic; I’ve never cried in front of anyone other than family before.

“Yeah…maybe I’ll tell you some time in the future,” I said, turning to face him.

He shot me a sympathetic concerned look, and I could only shut my eyes to block him out. I was such a loser, and I hated myself for getting this emotional.

“‘S alrigh’ teh cry, Ashlan…look at me, please?” I felt his hand graze my cheek softly, rough fingertips wiping my tears away. I let my eyes flutter open, and immediately regretted it. I felt myself fall into his brown eyes again, not being able to get enough of it.

His hand softly trailed down my face, running along my jaw for a moment before moving to rest on the nape of my neck. His eyes flickered between my lips and my eyes and his mouth was parted slightly. Bits and pieces of his dark hair landed on my face as I realized just how close he was.

Our hair tangled together and our breaths mingled as he brought his face even closer. I was terrified, honestly. I didn’t know if I wanted to kiss him, or if I was just so heart-wrenchingly sad that I just needed that closeness from someone.

There was no pressure, absolutely no pressure, but I felt his soft lips touch mine for a split second before the door was pushed open.

Oliver shot up from on top of me and both our heads turned to look at the culprit: my mother.

“Door stays open, Ash,” she said with a smirk, walking down the hall and towards the stairs before yelling back up: “Oh, and dinners ready.”

My cheeks lit up, and I was satisfied to know that Oliver also found the situation awkward.

“Are you staying for dinner?”

“What? Uh yeah…yes, sure.”

//

“Why didn’ yeh kiss ‘im? Well it were probably a good idea yeh didn’,” Suzan said, picking at her sandwich, mumbling to herself about how people don’t know how to make them properly nowadays.

Tom rolled his eyes at her. “Don’ listen teh ‘er, she doesn’ know wha' she’s talkin’ ‘bout.”

He smiled at me, his blue eyes shinning. I loved his eyes. They were just so breathtakingly blue that it made you happy just to see them in sunlight; when they are at their bluest.

“Shut yeh trap, Tom,” Suzan said, her tongue coming out to show her immaturity. “So, why didn’ yeh kiss ‘im?”

“My mom walked in, and it just kind of ruined the mood. I didn’t want my first kiss to be rushed.” At that, Suzan stopped her sandwich examination, and Tom stopped fiddling around with his camera, both looking up at me with wide surprised eyes.

“Yeh’ve neva been kissed?!” Suzan asked, her accent coming on stronger than ever.

I shook my head nervously at her, confused at why it was such a big deal.

“Why not? Yeh’re hot,” Tom said, earning himself a slap to the back of the head and a glare from Suzan.

“Watch it Sykes. Yeh’ve got a girlfriend.”

I laughed at the two. They bickered like brother and sister, and if you didn’t know them, you’d thin they were.

“Wha? I can’ say another birds hot now?” he asked incredulously, like it was a sin if he didn’t tell people that other girls were attractive.

“No,” was Suzan’s short reply.

“Whateva. So yeh really neva been kissed?” Tom said, turning from Suzan to me. My cheeks tinted a light pink, and I nodded.

“Wow. I knew yeh were a virgin, and that was weird enough. But knowin’ that yeh’re a virgin at everythin’ is pretty ridiculous.” I shrugged at Suzan, not really caring.

I knew that her, Lynn, Danica, and Tyler weren’t virgins, but it shouldn’t shock them. Becky still was one.

//

Its awkward trying to sort out your feelings for two different guys when they both are constantly wanting to be with you, and when you do finally get a phone for the country your in, they wont stop calling you.

But it’s easy to avoid and ignore them both, especially when you are as busy as I am. With working at the barn, the new dance class I’ve taken up last weekend, and the violin classes that I’ve decided to continue here, I’ve had no time for pretty much anyone, even Suzan.

But the one day that I was free, I did end up calling one of the two boys up, and instantly I knew that I only wanted this one guy.

With Oliver and I up in my room and my door closed because no one was home, I knew that I didn’t like Mathew anymore. I didn’t necessarily like Oliver; I was just attracted to him.

But when Oliver had his hand caressing my face again, and tucking my hair behind my head as I lay underneath him once again, I knew that maybe it was more than just physical attraction.

When his head got closer to mine, I knew this was what I wanted. I let our breaths mingle, and I let my eyes slowly slip shut.

My hand tangled with his free hand, and I felt the heat radiating off of his face and onto my own. There was that no pressure feeling again, just our lips barely touching. Soon there was more pressure, and all I could feel at that moment were Oliver’s soft lips covering my own, and the butterflies exploding in my stomach.

I applied my own bit of pressure back against Oliver’s, and I felt him smile on me. While his one hand massaged my neck, the other released from my hand and slowly traveled up my arm.

When our lips stayed in sync for a while, I found it hard to breathe. I didn’t know if Oliver had that same problem, but with my being under him, all I could do was softly push against his chest. He took the hint though and parted from me, breathing onto my face. I kept my eyes closed though, and I could just tell that Oliver was smirking and that there was a rather prominent blush on my face.

“Well…this is awkward,” I replied, earning myself a slight chuckle from Oliver.

“Yeah…” was his simple reply. I felt him roll off of me and grasp onto my hand.

“Never thought my first kiss would be with an English boy,” I mumbled to myself. I had honestly figured that I could just save it until the winter when my family – including my aunt and her family – went down to Texas to see my uncle for two weeks, but that wasn’t happening now.

“Yeh’ve never been kissed before?” Oliver’s voice asked, clearly as shocked as Tom and Suzan had been. I shook my head at him.

“Really? Wow.”

I nodded again, smiling though as Oliver’s lips moved closer to my own again. I don’t think the feeling of his lips could ever get old.