Being Kept In The Dark

Valary twisted and turned in her warm bed. Yesterday had been a rough day. By the time they had settled and answered all of their friend’s questions then got Cassarah into her room it was three in the morning. Val flipped to the right and peeked at the clock on her nightstand, in blinking red numbers it read two thirty in the afternoon. She groaned, by now the sun’s rays were lighting up the room like a candle. Valary quickly shut her eyelids, but some how the large stars’ rays still seemed to crawl into them. A sigh softly flooded through her lips. Sadly not seeing any other way she could get anymore sleep, she moved her palms down onto the mattress and slowly pulled herself into a sitting position. Not feeling her husband beside her, she scanned the room for any sign of his muscular frame. All Val saw was their closet door wide open with all it’s contents thrown onto the floor.

Valary sighed once again pulling both her legs out of the warmth of the sheets and on to the cool hardwood floor. She lazily moved herself to the mountain of clothes Matt had made and slowly began to pick them up one by one. After putting away all the mess, she found herself a pare of old jeans and a decent shirt. Valary looked at herself in the mirror making sure her hair was fine before leaving the room. As she walked down the hallway she stopped at her daughter’s room. Leaning against the door all Val heard was Cassy’s soft breathing. Stretching out her arm, she grasped the doorknob and gently moved it to the right. The door gently glided away from her enough so Val could see into the room. Cassy was spread out on top of the bed her head hanging off the side and feet resting on top of the headboard. Valary covered her mouth with her hand to silence the laugher that was threatening to escape.

“Cassy, honey. It’s time to wake up.”

Cassarah scrunched up her nose and shut her eyes tight. She must have been too close to the edge, because one second she was on the bed the next on the floor. This time Valary didn’t bother to cover her mouth and let a light laugh fill the room. Cassy groaned and lightly smacked her head against the hardwood.

“Why me?” Cassarah whined.

“Come on, I’ll make us something to eat.” Val said walking into the room and helping her daughter to her feet.

It was like a crazy dream to Valary. A few months ago, she could only dream about this mommnet. Her child that she had given up, being brought back to her. Cassarah was everything she could have wished for and more. She had her own morals and beliefs that she had decided for herself. She did not dress too relealing for her age and did not talk back. Cassy was a model teenage girl. One that other mothers could be jealous, of and she was all Valarys. Just thinking about her daughter made Val want to burst into tears and it took all she had to stop the water works.

The two young woman made their way down the stairs their arms linked at the elbows. With each step they took Cassy tightened her grip on her mother, to stead herself if she were to fall. Valary had never really thought about how having stairs in the house could affect her daughter. They were very difficult and dangerous for a blind child. She wrote herself a mental note to talk to Matt about that later as they finally reached the kitchen. Cassy took a seat at the bar like table and Val went to the fridge.

“So? What does Miss Cassarah what for lunch?” Valary asked her head poking into the freezing metal rectangle.

“Do you have oatmeal?” Cass ask embarassed of her choice of food.

The young mother snapped her head in the direction of her daughter. The sixteen year old was spacing off at the pantery, biting her lip with her two front teeth.

“We do, but you can have anything you want. Cassy this is your house, as much as it’s mine. Do you understand?”

Cassarah eagerly nodded her head. That was not the reason the teenager had chosen such a grown up meal. When Cassy was only nine years old, her school was taken to a local farm. Where they were told how that meat was really animals. The farmers had told the young children the process in such detail that Cassy had never touched meat since. Over a few years she had taken the next step and became a vegan. A vegan is a person who does not eat animals or any animal by products. That means Cassarah did not touch milk, eggs, cake, pancakes, cream, and so on. She did not eat much beside vegetables, fruits, and some specially made foods.

“I see. So we’re going to have do some grocery shopping then.” Valary said understanding complety.

“We don’t have to! I mean I’ll just eat the me-“

Cassy was interupted by Val’s hand covering her open mouth. Dumbstruck she sat there not knowing what to do.

“Now, I will not have you second guessing your decisions. You’re sixteen and you can decide what you think is right, and what’s not. I trust you.”

Valary waited until her daughter nodded her head before she removed her hand. Then like a switch was flipped, both girls started to laugh.

“Thanks…” Cassy said calming down a bit.

“No, problem. Now is that really what you want?”



As the two Sanders women were sitting eating their lunch, Matthew was thirty miles away in a small recording room with four other men.

“Yo, Matt! Earth to Matt!” Zacky said waving his pale hand in front of his friend’s face.

Matthew brought himself out of his light daydream swatting his chuppy Italion friend’s hand. He was not in the mood for their games today. They called him at nine in the morning asking for him to come in. Matt feeling only slightly guilty about ditching their last attempt at a recording practice, said yes. Now he was greatly regretting it. All they had been doing was fooling around and drinking. He could be home with his wife and daughter right now.

“What is it, Zack?” Matt asked.

“We just wanted to ask a few more questions about, Baby Shads.” Johnny answered pluking at a few strings on his bass.

“Didn’t you ask them all last night?”

“Well, yes and no. We had the whole night to think of more!” Jimmy said jumping up and down on the couch like a five year old.

Matthew sighed and dropped his head into his hands, “Okay, shoot.”

Brian was sitting across from Matt on a computer chair. He had not gotten any sleep last night with Michelle’s constant babbling about her newly found niece. He was happy for his girlfriend and his best friend, but he had some unanswered questions. He would have asked them last night, but he didn’t know how they would blow over with Cassarah in the room.

“Is Cassy going to be blind forever?” Zack asked.

When Valary had said that Cassarah was in fact blind, it was a shock to everyone. Cass did not carry herself as a disabled girl. They had asked the young couple how it happened. It was hard for them to explain that it was not intentional, but it was their fault.

“Yes, that was one of the first questions we asked too. Any others?”

Matt really wanted to move on from the fact that his daughter will never see anything in her life. Not the sky, her clothes, or even him. It was something that brought great sadness to his heart. But he, like any other man refused to show that to his friends.

“What does this mean for the band?” Aveneged Sevenfold silenced.

Matthew had never thought about that. What was to happen to the band? They had all said when one of them had a child, that was it. No more. But Cassy was a teenager. It was different. Sure she still needed love and attention, but they did not have to be there twenty four seven. Matt remember he use to love it when his parents would go out for the night and leave him the house. She needed more time to herself, but with Cassy’s disablity it was different as well. She couldn’t go up the stairs without using her cane and what if she fell in the shower. That was going to be a problem.

Touring…. Matt being the lead singer and Valary being the merch girl (and ex manger) meant they had to go. Tour could last anywhere from a month to twenty months. They could leave America even. But, with Val going back to school they were going on a break. It was recording and maybe a concert here and there. Nothing too much.

He didn’t see any need to quit, but what would the media do when they found out about his blind sixteen year old. The photographers would be at his door and following them. Or would they even care? It was a toss up. They were not like the Jonas Brothers or Taylor Swift. They did not get as much attention as they did, but they were not starving for it either.

“We still go on like we planed. Recording and then a break until Val’s done school. By then Cassy will be settled enough to decide what she wants to do.”

“What do you mean?” Jimmy asked being his unusual calm self.

“Well, we have seen it done before. I mean, maybe have Cassarah come on tour with us.”

The guys were taken a back with Matt’s statement. Sure they have known many bands that have brought their kids with, but that was a last resort. Their tours and concerts were wild to say the least was that really the environment for a teenager. They did have teens at concerts and some were even roadies, but Matt’s daughter?

“Are you sure? That could get a little rough.” Zack said thinking of all the fan girls that were (to be nice) a little crazy.

“Well, what are the other options.” Johnny asked agreeing with the lead singer.

The band became silent once again. Zack was on the ropes about it, Johnny was all for it, Jimmy thought it was all Matt and Val’s choice, and Brian was undecided. Brian didn’t now what to think or say. He never thought that this would ever happened. One of his friends or even him for that matter, having kids. It was a thought that had never in his life crossed his mind. Brian was and still is considerd a player. In high school he had, had quite a few “girlfriends” and he was lucky enough to not have had any scares like Matt and Val had had.

“Cassy could stay with Michelle. She’s head over heels for her niece.” Brian said breaking out of his funk. Matt turned his head to face his best friend. Brian was willing to let a girl he did not even know stay at his house.

“Yeah, Gena would love for the “hair virgin” to stay with her too.” Zack added.

“Oh, don’t forget about Leana! She would love to too!”

“Lacey would like it as well!”

Matt was overwhemed by his friends. Their support with this whole thing had really lifted a weight off of his shoulders. He could not ask for better friends then the ones that were sitting around him.

“Thanks guys. But I think we’ll cross that bridge when it comes.”