Symphony Of Sympathy

I called Conner, explaining all that my parents had said. He was thrilled, and completely willing to transfer to an American college.

"Con, honestly, I don’t want to force you into this..."

"Shi, I love yeh. I want to do this," Conner reassured me, and my stomach fluttered. Maybe I was falling in love with Conner. "I 'ave to go. I'll call yeh later, and we'll figure out details, 'lright love?"

"Alright. Bye," I whispered softly, snapping my phone shut. Releasing a small sigh, my thoughts went wild.

Maybe I was falling in love with Conner. Maybe I loved him the whole time. Maybe this was destined to happen...

That is all bullshit, and you know it! You know-

Sierra's voice was cut off by my ringing cell phone. I thought nothing of checking who was calling, automatically assuming Conner had forgotten to tell me something.

"Shiloh?" The heavy accent seemed shocked I had answered.

"Oli, I told you I don’t want to speak with you," I growled at him. When I said I never wanted to speak to him again, I meant it.

"Yeh 'ave ever right to be mad at meh, Shi. But could we just... I really just want to talk. Please, Shi," Never had I heard Oli beg before.

Despite the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and Sierra's nagging voice in the back of my head, I agreed. "Fine, Oliver. We can talk, and that's it."

"Do, uh... Yeh think we could go to the creek?" he offered weakly. Something was wrong. The Oli I knew was confident and had the biggest ego. He never begged, and he was always sure with everything he said. This was not normal.

"I um... I guess?"

Why are you doing this? I thought your preciousOliver was going to mean nothing. Sierra sneered, like this was all a game to her. When Sierra first started 'haunting' me, since I honestly had no idea what to call this, the things she said was helpful. Good, sisterly advice.

Either I'd grown stupider, or she'd grown bitchier. I had a feeling it was both.

"I'll meet yeh there in twenty minutes," Oli said, hanging up. It took at least ten minutes to get there, and I still needed to change. My hair was greasy and in desperate need of a shower. I threw it back into a pony tail, changing into a t-shirt and a pair of old ripped jeans before running out to the car. I took a deep breath, exhaling all of my worries, before sticking the key in the ignition and headed for the creek, all the while knots were twisting tighter and tighter in my stomach.

* * *

I arrived early. Despite the fact I was a naturally late person, I felt that today, I couldn’t afford to be late. This was my last chance, and I knew I couldn’t waste it.

I sat on the grass by the small creek. My nerves were a wreck as I tried figuring out what to say. What do you say to the person you've been fucking almost every night? What do you say to the person you love, but just don’t know it?

I could see little kids running around, parents playfully chasing after. It reminded me of when I was little. How my family would run around, our dad chasing after us, roaring like a monster. And when he'd catch us, we'd all fall to the ground in laughter. My heart ached at the fact that this didn’t happen anymore. Sure, I was too old for it, but that didn’t mean I didn’t miss it.

I spotted her before she saw me. Her bright red hair stuck out. Shortly after, she spotted me sitting on the ground, hurrying over. I took in her true beauty. This was when I loved her the most, when she wasn’t trying to impress anyone. Her hair was pulled back, though most of it was sticking out in different directions. It looked slightly oily, as if she hadn’t had time to wash it. Her giant t-shirt was stained, with a small hole near the hem. There were dark circles under her green/gray eyes, as if she hadn't slept. She wore no makeup, yet she'd never looked so stunning.

"Oliver," she greeted me. The way she said my name made my heart skip a beat.

"Shiloh," I breathed. She looked nervous, like a little kid when they go against something their parents say.

"Look, Oli... Just... hurry up and get it over with," she whispered, refusing to look me in the eyes as she sat down.

"Shi, don’t be like this. All I want to do is talk, I promise," I tried to reassure her, but she still wouldn’t look at me. I sighed. "I know yeh probably want meh to apologize for what 'appened last night. But I won't. Shi, I'm not sorry we got caught. But now we 'ave nothing to 'ide!"

She blinked a few times, absorbing what I had said. "I'm not sorry either," she said finally, ripping up pieces of grass. She still wasn’t looking at me.

I was stunned with what she was saying. "You and Conner aren’t together anymore. Shiloh, we can finally be together. It will finally just be us."

Something flashed through her eyes. She bit down on her lip, and then looked up at me. "What made you think I would ever want to be with you?" she asked, angry.

"I just-"

"I tried so hard to stop. Really, I did. You never listened to me! So you're going to listen now. Oliver, this will never happen between us. I could never be with someone who thinks I'm nothing but a good fuck. Conner and I lasted for so long because we loved each other without having sex. I was a person to him. Goddamn it, I'm not just some toy you can shove your dick into!" She yelled at me. My jaw dropped in shock. I'd never seen Shiloh stand up for herself like this.

"I... never wanted us to end up like this. Shi, yeh are more than just a good fuck. Yeh have always been more than a good fuck!" I responded, getting pissed off.

"You have done nothing to show me that! Every night, you'd come over, horny and drunk and high, and treat me like shit! I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long. But you were a good fuck, and I was addicted. But Oliver, all we have for each other is lust. Why the hell should we be together just because we lust each other? I'm sorry, Oliver. But you mean nothing more than some sex to me," she snapped at me.

I couldn’t speak. I mean, what do you say to this? The anger in her eyes vanished, and she returned to staring at the ground, gnawing anxiously at her lip. I wasn’t going to take this; I wasn’t going to let her tell me how I feel. "Shiloh," I whispered, placing my tattooed hand against her cheek, forcing her to look at me. She flinched at my touch. Her eyes burned into mine, hurt and alone. "I don’t just lust yeh."

I leaned forward, pressing my lips lightly against her lips. A lone tear slid down her cheek, running onto my hand. She kissed me back lightly, before pulling away, tearing her eyes away from mine.

"Shi, I more than lust yeh. I... I lo-"

"I'm leaving," she whispered, picking at the grass. Her greenish gray eyes were brimmed with tears as she stared at her hands.

I pulled my hand away from her face. "What do you mean?"

"I'm going back to New York."

New York- where her sister was murdered. "I thought yeh mum would never go back."

"She isn’t. I am. With my dad." Shiloh rubbed at her eyes, sniffling back tears. "My dad and his girlfriend, they'll find me a nice apartment, and Conner and I can get away from this place for good."

My heart stopped. "C-Conner and yeh?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"We've been lasting for so long because I'm more than a whore to him," she stated, before standing up. "I'm done with this, Oli."

"Yeh were never a whore to meh!" I called after her, but she just shook her head and kept on walking.

And that was it. I blew my last shot with the love of my life.

* * *

I had done it. I said every word Sierra told me to. When I looked back, I swore I saw a few tears rolling down Oli's face, but I wasn't sure. And now, it was all over.

Just like that, baby girl.